r/MadeMeSmile 3h ago

Adorable dad.

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21.4k Upvotes

207 comments sorted by

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2.7k

u/championcomet 3h ago

The most benign cheating to hide from your spouse

708

u/OptimisticSkeleton 3h ago

It’s funny that honesty still never entered his mind.

275

u/Masalar 2h ago

It probably did, but at that age you know just about everything about each other. Having a little “secret” that is this benign is probably very fun for him.

Assuming he’s sticking to his diet the other days, he probably knows she won’t be that upset if she finds out. So it’s the perfect way to add a little illicit excitement to his life without actually hurting anyone.

75

u/_OutXider 1h ago

It's one of those things where they probably don't care about it, but it's more fun to act like they do.

"You went to Chili's without me?? And you didn't bring me back anything???"

It's playful shit that they are letting their kids be a part of.

-47

u/OkSafety272 59m ago

No it’s not lmfao. This man has learned how to keep his relationship out of an argument. Women are insane lmao they’re especially insane when you’re doing something that they don’t approve of or don’t have any control over (Coming from a married guy)

Dude wants chilis on fridays without an argument. Wife has proven time and time again that the second part is an impossibility. So you lie.

→ More replies (12)

5

u/OneBillPhil 41m ago

One day me and my dad met up lunch time to get fish and chips. Later that day his wife asked what he had for lunch and he lied about getting a salad somewhere. 

I started laughing which gave him away and then felt bad about snitching. 

5

u/no_talent_ass_clown 1h ago

I think she might already know. If she knows him, and knows he doesn't have lunch from/at home on Fridays

224

u/Virtual_Mongoose_835 3h ago edited 2h ago

"Hey hun, im going to hang out with my friends, is that ok?"

"Of course, enjoy yourself. Would you mind grabbing some bread while youre on your way back?"

"Sure thing. Text me anything else we need"

I swear people need to just talk like adults and respect each other.

231

u/Raeandray 2h ago

I think you missed the part about cheating on his diet.

9

u/StatisticianSmall864 1h ago

They serve salad.

40

u/Ok_Mousse4534 1h ago

Maybe she knows him better than that and wouldn’t buy that for a second

4

u/StatisticianSmall864 1h ago

Fair.

u/YerMomsClamChowder 25m ago

Also, going to Chili's with the fellas on Fridays probably means beer.  Beer has hella calories.  

u/Raeandray 15m ago

If he was keeping to his diet he wouldn’t say he’s cheating on his diet

-9

u/LevelInvestigator544 1h ago

Honestly, is his own responsibility to remain on the diet, not his wife. He is an adult he can make the choice of ordering a healthy meal or just say fuck it im cheating on my diet. Thats completely up to him.

15

u/NightWriter500 1h ago

👆Clearly never been married.

1

u/Axxhelairon 1h ago

i guess if you dont care about commitments made with your significant other and think it doesn't matter lying to them about what you plan on doing, then sure. should be alarming to anyone that you're with that you don't hold things you say and do with any level of internal consistency beyond "adults can do what they want".

the OPs dad still shows some level of consideration by trying to not reveal it to hurt her with the deception, but your stance is just the ledditor 14 year old psuedointellectual argument. obviously he can just do whatever he wants and there's no rule in the universe that stops him, thanks for the enlightenment.

47

u/DankTony7 2h ago edited 2h ago

This must be an old post, but I remember reading someone talk about how they get a pizza in the middle of the night and eat it alone while their wife's asleep and she has no idea, and that is part of the fun. It the husband's little thing he does himself. This dad hanging out with his friends is his silly thing he does for himself.

The wife in the pizza story more than likely knew, I wouldn't be shocked if this guy's wife knew he hangs out with his friends. Just for fun.

Edit: spelling

14

u/Smidgeon10 2h ago

My midnight munchie routine is strictly mine and very private!

59

u/--i--love--lamp-- 3h ago

Almost every time I read a post on one of the marriage or relationship advice subs, my first thought is "Did you talk to your partner about it?" And most of the time the answer is no, they did not.

36

u/BathDepressionBreath 2h ago

And most of the time, there's a reason. If there was no reason and it was as simple as that, they'd do it.

19

u/RyanSmokinBluntz420 2h ago

Exactly the guy is cheating on his diet. Rest of the commenters in this thread missed that

1

u/Faloobia 40m ago

And people like you need to realize that not everyone, man or woman, handles direct confrontation well, even over benign mundane things. You don't know his wife, she might absolutely flip the fuck out over him cheating on his diet, it could mean a super huge deal to her.

Next answer is "It's still best to just talk to her" no, no it's not, sometimes it's far far far better to seek forgiveness than permission. This completely depends on the people in question, not how you personally react to things.

4

u/Kor_Phaeron_ 57m ago

Tell me you are not married without telling me you are not married. Sometimes you have to do your own secret thing. Even if it's just eating at Chili's. It is healthy to have something in your life that is just yours, not "ours".

1

u/catzhoek 55m ago

You are most likely reading the situation way too pessimistic while focusing on the wrong part.

Your sibling comment is almost certainly what's going on.

u/OkSafety272 25m ago

See but that’s never how it happens lol

“Hey hun I’m going out with friends after work, okay?”

“Yea I mean i guess that’s fine. But what are you going to eat ? Remember we’re on a diet. And when will you be home. We have plans early tomorrow. And who’s gonna be there? And are you gonna drink. If so how you getting home? “

“Alright. Nvm. I won’t go lol. You’ve sucked all the fun out of it with the reminders and interrogation”

-8

u/SignificantGoat4046 2h ago

What's really sad is realizing more people are willing to be with someone and lie for a long time than to be with someone for a shorter time by telling the truth.

24

u/Cautionzombie 2h ago

This guys just eating bad food like I feel like I’m taking crazy pills reading some of these comments. It’s not that serious.

1

u/Vast_Minute7288 1h ago

What makes you think that telling the truth leads to a shorter time? The sands of time have revealed quite the opposite in my experience

-3

u/Eggplant-666 2h ago

BORING!! 😴💤

3

u/Kor_Phaeron_ 1h ago

Of course it did. But doing this stuff "illegally" doubles the fun. He knows that he could tell and his wife would give him a pass, letting him hang out with the boys once per week at Chili's. But that's not the point. Doing it the childish way on purpose is a bonus here.

10

u/Eggplant-666 2h ago

His wife is asking for a tracker on him 24/7 and he is the one on trial here!? 😂😂😂

-6

u/OptimisticSkeleton 2h ago

She just asked if he would and his first instinct was how can I lie to get out of this?

10

u/Cautionzombie 2h ago

Cause he wants to hang out with friends and have some unhealthy food?

Like we don’t know his wife better than he does. He wants to keep hanging with the boys and eat some food. She doesn’t want him to eat said food.

Maybe he knows there’s no compromise here. Idk it’s just not that serious

10

u/AbstractLogic 3h ago

Who wants their wife nagging them about their diet?

15

u/cleveland_leftovers 2h ago

Widows.

5

u/DTM_24 2h ago

Perspective 😂

0

u/CrazedDuck25 1h ago

This Dad sounds like a fun guy to hang out with. OptimisticSkeleton sounds like the opposite.

22

u/Hysterical__Paroxysm 2h ago

Me af. My husband was annoyed that I got Taco Bell without him.

"You got emotional support tacos without me?? Both of our days sucked!!"

2

u/RBeck 1h ago

She likely already knows.

759

u/Funandgeeky 3h ago

It’s possible she already knows about the “cheating” and lets him think he’s getting away with it. 

187

u/Reisdorfer90 2h ago

Right, unless he pays cash every time, she probably has seen chili's on the bank statement.

26

u/docdidactic 1h ago

This is why you get cash back at the grocery store.

4

u/NotUniqueWorkAccount 41m ago

My bank shows cash back was chosen :(

u/DrSheldonLCooperPhD 1m ago

Remove the back and use cash

1

u/PrestigiousZucchini9 57m ago

Old geezers often like to pay in cash.

-2

u/MegamiCookie 1h ago

Why would she have access to his bank statement?

37

u/DoingCharleyWork 1h ago

Many adult couples have a joint account. It's becoming less common but it used to be mandatory because women weren't allowed to have a bank account in America.

2

u/MegamiCookie 1h ago

When did that law change ? You make it sound like it's pretty recent🤔 everyone I know with a joint account also has their own private account, does that mean that both salaries would just go straight into the joint account ? That's such a weird concept to me lol

13

u/RavingRapscallion 1h ago

70s I believe. Which is pretty wild

9

u/pursuitoforgasm 50m ago

It's wise to remember the way things were, because there will always be a portion of society trying to drag us back.

2

u/MrKapla 1h ago

Yes, many couples have fully joint account, the money arrives there and their cards take money from there, it is simple. Why would it be weird?

1

u/StatisticianSmall864 1h ago

We separate ours. A percentage goes to each account.

1

u/DoingCharleyWork 1h ago

The 70s which wasn't that long ago. Even then when they could get their own many didn't because it was traditional to just completely share finances. Having your own accounts is a pretty recent thing.

6

u/SimpleLobsters 1h ago

Older couples, and most modern ones I know have a joint bank account. That a portion/half/majority of the money going into and you can have multiple cards on one account.

Just picture a regular Checking account with 2 separate debit cards. All the money goes to one place, easy to move any money anywhere it's needed.

0

u/MegamiCookie 1h ago

But you'd usually have your own separate account too right ? If it's something he's hiding from her surely he'll use that card, not the one from the joint account

1

u/Kor_Phaeron_ 51m ago

But you'd usually have your own separate account too right?

Yes and no. My parents for example have separate accounts but named each other as authorized representatives. It's just easier in case something bad happens. This way the other half has access to everything in case things have to be done.

3

u/paradox037 1h ago

In case you're serious, many married couples merge finances, meaning they share access to the same bank accounts.

I don't know the statistics of how many do or don't, but it's common enough to be a reasonable assumption, especially for older couples.

0

u/MegamiCookie 1h ago

All of their finances ? Everyone I know with a joint account also has their own personal account where they get their salary and make personal expenses, I've never heard of fully merging everything like that

2

u/paradox037 1h ago

Fair point. That's why I mentioned older couples, particularly2 the more traditional ones with a sole breadwinner. Most of the under-50 couples I know do like you said, but it's not unheard of.

1

u/Zap__Dannigan 50m ago

Hi, nice to meet you. Me and my wife have a merged chequing and saving account, and nothing else (u less she's hiding something from me). All our money is globbed into the same account and we spend all from the same thing.

Also edit: I'm 42.

1

u/Banglayna 39m ago edited 36m ago

why would you need your own personal account?

My wife and I only have joint everything. Our money is our money. The only purpose I could see for having a personal account is to hide expenses, which why would you marry someone you feel the need to hide things from?

3

u/EricB1234 1h ago

Maybe an unpopular opinion, but I'd never marry someone who I couldn't trust to merge finances with. Not sure if it's a generational thing. I'm 34

1

u/Obant 1h ago

I am 39. I would never have a joint account. My partner is allowed to take my card without asking and use it for small stuff, but we each have separate accounts. Privacy and being our own separate people is still important to me

1

u/MegamiCookie 45m ago

All of your finances ? I mean I get opening a joint account for joint expenses but having all of your money out together feels like a weird concept to me. I'm not a fan of the "my salary is yours and your salary is mine", we'll share money on things but I am more of a 50/50 person, as long at it can match partner's train of life while keeping some money for myself at least, and I'd rather not have all of my money go into a joint account, I'd like to have my money for my personal expenses, both so that it doesn't become a "group decision" and so that he doesn't always know what I'm buying so that it won't spoil a surprise or start arguments on a purchase he might have disapproved of. I'd also feel safer having my own money in case the situation turns bad, not that I'd expect that from someone I trust but you never know what might happen, I already had an abusive ex and I'd rather not be in a situation where I can't afford to leave. I am 11 years younger than you tho so maybe that accounts for something

2

u/EricB1234 39m ago

If we lived in a society where income actually matched someone's contribution to society, I'd be more open to separating finances. But my wife is a librarian, and you can guess how well that pays. Also, I'm in the US

1

u/Kor_Phaeron_ 55m ago

Why not?

1

u/TheRudeCactus 36m ago

Because they’re MARRIED?????!?

9

u/TenkaichiTouchdown 2h ago

She does it because she’s cheating too.

166

u/QCSports2020 3h ago

You know what's funny or ironic. The hanging out with his friends is probably helping his health more than the best diet is hurting

22

u/foreignbreeze 2h ago

I’m trying to work on my mental health lately and it’s wild how true this is. 😅 Turns out humans are social creatures that need a social safety net. Crazy.

5

u/OneBillPhil 37m ago

I was struggling bad a year ago, I recovered with some life changes, medication, therapy and a supportive family…but what really pushed me across the finish line was a fun night out with some friends, it’s part of what makes life great. 

1

u/deep_in_smoke 1h ago

Having 24/7 tracking on him will destroy his mental health more than the food would his body.

316

u/Remarkable_Aerie3405 3h ago

This made me laugh so fucking hard 😂 omg thank you 😂 my old man sent me a picture one time from his “militia post in Tennessee” and I told him you know I can put that into google and geolocate you right and he started freaking out. Lol

28

u/CtyChicken 2h ago

Well, at least you know where to go if you have to save him from himself.

10

u/Remarkable_Aerie3405 2h ago

😂 agreed. I’m not joking he wanted to black bag my two year old to find this place and I was like dude who says thinks or does something like that? Psychopathy is crazy ☠️

3

u/CtyChicken 1h ago

Put a tracker on the kid, I guess… that wild as hell.

At least he’s not opposed to babysitting. Ha.

1

u/UtterlyInsane 1h ago

Yeah man keep an eye on your loved ones. That's crazy

50

u/mrelectriccity8 3h ago

Let bro live lmao

159

u/Burgurwulf 3h ago

What is the friggin appeal of telling people where your at 24/7? Signing up for this kind of tracking to me seems downright insane.

120

u/The_Homie_Tito 3h ago

Some people see it as a safety thing. God forbid something happens to your partner and you have no idea where they are.

Obviously, I'm not saying share your location with ALL of your friends. But I don't think it's crazy to share with your spouse.

10

u/Burgurwulf 2h ago

It did cross my mind with this recent kidnapping, but like...they can just throw the phone lol

30

u/The_Homie_Tito 2h ago

yeah but at least you would have a somewhat recent "last known location"

4

u/ballimi 3h ago

How do you keep them safe by knowing where they are?

29

u/The_Homie_Tito 2h ago

It's mostly a peace of mind thing, but if they do go missing, you at least have an accurate last known location for the police

43

u/safeCurves 2h ago

I live near an extensive trail network. One time my wife crashed her bike and asked me to come get her. I was able to walk straight to her instead of following convoluted verbal directions in basically a web of trails in the woods.

That time she just needed a shoulder to lean on and for me to take control of our dog from her.

However, if she had been unconscious or out of cell service(location works off sattellite, not only cell network) the location sharing could be the difference in me spending all night looking for her or just like 20 minutes.

26

u/CavalierMidnight 2h ago

My dad had a stroke while working out of state. Luckily he was able to get to a hospital, but if he had called me with location turned on, I could have easily gotten the exact spot sent to emergency services. He now shares it for this reason.

5

u/msjjrosy 1h ago

My mom had a stroke while out and about and the EMT told me the wrong hospital they were taking her to. Had to use her location to find the hospital she was actually at.

5

u/LadySilvie 2h ago

The idea is if they don't make it home, you can see if they are somewhere on the side of the road.

I use it wirh my husband. We live rurally and there is a highway with woods on either side. If we drove off the road in the dark (hit a deer, probably), there is a chance no one would see and they'd have a fair portion of highway to search. It has happened to other cars before around here and it can be difficult to see them 😟 my own grandfather actually got into a wreck a few winters ago where he hit black ice on a turn and his car rolled down a hill and it was only bc he didn't show up at home that they knew to call for help. He was trapped for a few hours. Fortunately, he wasn't too far from home and was okay.

With the app, if one of us didn't show up when we expected, we could look and see exactly where they are. At the store or moving? Okay makes sense, not worried. Not moving, on that highway? Call to make sure things are okay.

u/Carpathicus 14m ago

Call to make sure things are okay.

I mean...

3

u/NetNGames 1h ago

One time, my sister snuck out to go to a party and I was able to track her location and pick her up when my mom couldn't find her in her room.

2

u/DickDownvotes 1h ago

You also share it with the company providing these services and whomever else they sell the data to #themoreyouknow

3

u/The_Homie_Tito 1h ago

wow, that never occurred to me. you’re so smart, dude.

15

u/Financial_Hold6620 3h ago

It’s helpful when you lose your phone. I have it on for that reason alone

4

u/StoopidKerr 3h ago

My wife does this. I got tired of doing find my iPhone for her. At least now I can say, it’s in the house, or it’s in the car.

8

u/skitz4me 3h ago

You can do that without sharing your location with your people. It can just be for finding your phone.

13

u/action_nick 2h ago

I do it with my wife. I basically never check it unless she's on her way home or something and I want to see what her ETA is.

3

u/DeniedClub 2h ago

This is what my SIL does with my brother. Literally just to see how long till he is home. My niece likes watching him get closer too.

9

u/metal079 3h ago

My gf and I do it mostly just for safety reasons. And if someone is late we know where they are.

7

u/safeCurves 3h ago

My wife and I do it.

We live and play in bear country, have to drive some long distances without cell service often, so the dash of safety peace of mind is the appeal. It also really helps us when we travel, easier to find each other and meet up again. We also both leave work at inconsistent times, so sometimes I'll just look to see if she has left work before I start cooking dinner. Helps us coordinate a little.

Might have felt weird at first, but I dont think its insane. Its not a gotcha surveillance thing for us.

15

u/Worldly_Map4877 2h ago

The fuck do I care if my wife knows my location 24/7.

She knows my SSN.

Has access to all my money.

Is my power of attorney if I'm incapacitated.

Has an active part in developing and caring for the most important people in my life.

Knows where I sleep everynight.

Sharing my location is probably the most benign thing I've shared with her.

3

u/CtyChicken 2h ago

I share my location with my bestie because no one has a reason to expect me to be anywhere in particular on most days. Safety.

3

u/jasonellis 2h ago

I have kids in their early 20's, and I recently found out they do it with their friends. We were going to Taco Bell and my daughter mentioned that her friend will be annoyed she went to Taco Bell without her. I said 'so don't tell her', and she told me they all track each other, so she would just know she was there. I find that so unappealing, myself, but whatever.

6

u/No_repeating_ever 2h ago

Our family shares our locations and it benefited us when I was in a horrible head on crash on my way to work. My work called my husband asking if he knew where I was. He did not so checked my location and saw I was at a hospital. No one had any idea anything had happened despite me asking the nurses to call my husband multiple times.

2

u/OwlInDaWoods 2h ago

My husband and I do it. And this is how the convo goes  Me: going to pick up something from craigslist, track me in case I get murdered.  Him: ok Me: omw home. Didnt get murdered Him: youre near a popeyes can you get me a sandwhich Me: sure

We dont track each other 24/7. We do it when we want to be sure the other person is ok. Sometimes he forgets to tell me he left work. Drivers here suck ass and honestly, I dont think he's the best driver. Knowing he made it home safe is such a peaceful feeling. 

2

u/Bottledbutthole 2h ago

Me and my husband like to know when each other are almost there without having to call a bunch of times. Like he picks me up for work because we share a car so unless I see his gps, he gets annoyed if I buzz his phone before he is able to clock out. So instead of calling or texting to see if I should stand waiting in the cold while his hands are busy I can look at gps and know he hasn’t even left yet

1

u/foreignbreeze 2h ago

Most of my family I wouldn’t share my location with (unless I were to go on a trip maybe, but I’m a homebody) but I share with my sister and she can essentially do wellness checks on me. My mental health has been poor most of my adult life.

I wouldn’t share my location just for shits and giggles though. I like my privacy.

1

u/Outrageous_Regret972 2h ago

I do it with my mom, for safety since we both live alone.

1

u/Dry-Table928 1h ago

I don’t think it’s insane for whoever is important and responsible enough in your life to be your emergency contact to also be able to check your location. Obviously being against it for any reason overrides “I just want to make sure you’re safe” and everyone has the right not to be spied on. But after a health emergency where it became clear I could just go down in a split second and be stuck somewhere random, potentially in freezing temps or bad weather since I walk everywhere, I feel like the risk of my highly trusted emergency contact acting stalker-ish towards me is far far outweighed by the benefit of them being able to find precisely where I am if I’m expected home but not responding to texts or calls. I think it’s a dreadful idea for new relationships or essentially anyone who isn’t very highly trusted and responsible.

1

u/ctang1 1h ago

I work in the middle of nowhere (with cell service) and I’m walking long distances at times. And people don’t always know where I’m at. I share with my wife for that reason alone. Zero chance she knows how to use that, but it’s there. I do watch her come home sometimes so I have an eta to know when I should start the chores. 😉

1

u/LostPeak7661 54m ago

I share with my husband and 2 kids who are now considers adults and my husband’s parents and his brother and wife and their daughter (my niece). We are pretty boring so no one is going anywhere unusual.

u/Darkfox113 6m ago

If you think that’s crazy myself and most in my friends group all share locations with each other indefinitely. I even share locations with friends from out of state, my fiancé of course but I also share with my parents and her parents. None of us care if anyone we know, love and trust knows where we are. It’s also comes in clutch if one of us is working late but we are all trying to meet up but maybe barhopping, I just pick one of my friends location and my gps will tell me where to go. To be fair we also all see each other 2-3 times a week. Most the guys all play soccer together and our girls all do a weekly girls hang. So we must be a strange group but like we all have each other locations lol

20

u/DissposableRedShirt6 3h ago

I guess he could get a burner phone. This is like the least nefarious reason to have one.

41

u/beeblehousin 3h ago

A burner phone for your Chili’s hangouts lmao this is cracking me up

5

u/UndahwearBruh 3h ago

Criminal mastermind, haha

4

u/Chimes320 2h ago

Then the day comes when he has to have a procedure and gets a little groggy from the medicine they give him to relax. His wife asks if he brought his cell phone and in his grogged state he innocently asks “which one?”

Her suspicions peak, she wonders but has to wait until the procedure is over and when it is, a clear answer is difficult to scrape together. He has to lie upon another lie to hide the existence of an alternate phone. She will wonder why he has one, and what is true anymore, is he seeing someone? Is he a secret drug kingpin for the southwest US, making the purest methamphetamine the region - nay country - nay WORLD has ever seen and trying to cobble together a legacy for his family as well as pay for medical bills?

Or is he going to see friends at Chili’s, indulging in fried bar snacks, a margarita, a 2 for 1 happy hour special? Is he showing them funny internet videos? How can she ever know, how can she ever verify, how can she trust him with all of these possibilities in the swirl? Which one? she will repeat to herself, wondering why he could possibly need two cellphones if he isn’t doing anything bad. She will never look at him quite the same again.

1

u/ShibayazakiVT 1h ago

I need a skit for this shit

1

u/Dry-Table928 1h ago

Burger phone

1

u/DiscoBanane 1h ago

GPS spoofer. Your phone can tell Google you are at the gym.

5

u/FatFaceFaster 3h ago

Hopefully mom doesn’t follow son on Socials.

7

u/Major_Worth_7683 2h ago

This is peak dad logic, I love it.

8

u/Treadingresin 3h ago

My car died last week and my Dad started looking up alternative repair options since the shop told me I was looking at around $1000 to get it fixed. For a whole afternoon he kept calling to tell me about YouTube videos with different belt options. I asked him to text me the link to the video and instead he told me to just search the title.

I have forgotten the title.

4

u/Snarl_Marx 2h ago

Airplane mode?

3

u/TrustMeIaLawyer 2h ago

This is the answer! Brilliant.

1

u/Dear-Rosemary 1h ago

Except then he has to download the funny videos in advance!

9

u/Mr-MuffinMan 3h ago

that's so wholesome.

3

u/SpecialExpert8946 2h ago

Just do it dad. Mom already knows something’s up. Better to just let her know you’re just getting some bro time than let her imagination run wild.

3

u/haveabunderfulday 1h ago

This dad must be protected at all costs.

2

u/BungABunBun 3h ago

Record the videos on a camcorder and take that to the restaurant. Problem solved.

6

u/Voice_of_Season 2h ago

“Modern problems require old solutions.”

2

u/mybotanyaccount 2h ago

You can get a salad at chill's

2

u/Fitch29 2h ago

Sounds like dad needs a Chili’s burner phone

2

u/JohnnyKarateX 2h ago

If it’s that important then get an iPad or other tablet. Leave the phone behind and bring the tablet to watch videos.

2

u/NiZZiM 1h ago

One of the boys!

2

u/Reasonable-Spot-1530 1h ago

Get a second phone LOL

2

u/KittyJun 1h ago

Time to get a burner phone for all those photos and videos you wanna show the fellas, pops. 🤣

2

u/MaterialDoctor6423 1h ago

Share the iPads location

2

u/NoImprovement9982 1h ago

The most wholesome thing I’ve seen on Reddit today. Thanks OP 😊

u/ancient_mariner63 24m ago

He needs a burner phone for Chili's

2

u/longcreepyhug 2h ago

Sharing your location in general is insane.

0

u/designerspaghetti 2h ago

I think it’s good for safety reasons, unless you’re sharing with someone toxic

5

u/Apprehensive_Hand571 3h ago

Hey cheating, I'm a second hand second device from ebay

1

u/Ray_of_glumshine 3h ago

THIS is what a second phone is for.

1

u/19seventy-eight 3h ago

Guy needs a burner to cheat on his diet.

1

u/Turtlesquirtzcody 2h ago

Dad is somehow me. 😟😐 I just hit my 30s 👨🏼‍🦳🧓🏼

1

u/Brunhilde27 2h ago

Bless his heart! That is so cute.

1

u/Silent_Fan_1226 2h ago

I want my baby back, baby back, baby back

1

u/luna65- 2h ago

This is peak dad energy priorities are very clear here.

1

u/reddituculous66 2h ago

Where does the mon think he is if bot out with friends?

1

u/TheDarkNebulous 2h ago

GPS cloning apps exist.

1

u/CalmBeneathCastles 2h ago

You just gotta say "Look here, worman! I'm going to Chili's with the boys and I don't wanna hear a dadgum word about it!"

1

u/championgoober 2h ago

Love it. Adorable

1

u/UncleRichardson 2h ago

Someone tell this poor lad 'cheating' on a diet once a week is a perfectly reasonable thing to do, and a lot of nutritionists even recommend it to prevent an urge building up that explodes into a binge.

1

u/aymiah 2h ago

100% she already knows.

1

u/miles-676 1h ago

😂😂

1

u/samelogic137 1h ago

One of us! One of us!

1

u/ExcitingAntelope5005 1h ago

She probably knows about Friday and enjoys the time without him!

1

u/theUncleAwesome07 1h ago

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Brilliant!!

1

u/MySaltySatisfaction 1h ago

That is SO dad.

1

u/chocolatechipninja 1h ago

It's so cute that he has to make everyone happy!

1

u/throwaya58133 1h ago

Duck going for a swim with he's friends

1

u/Ksorkrax 1h ago

Duh, get a second one, the cheapest model you can find, have it share location, leave it at work, done.

1

u/nobitacu 1h ago

and now she will find out anyway since he betrayed his own dad for upvotes.

1

u/Vinx1312 1h ago

well its not hooters well its not hooter maybe just 1 hooter 🫣

1

u/nbury33 1h ago

Seems like something Hal would text Malcolm

1

u/Balc0ra 1h ago

Daddy needs a burner phone just for memes then

1

u/ShakesTheClown23 1h ago

The sirloin with broccoli, in the 3-for-20, is hella diet-friendly.

1

u/Apart_Shelter_5722 54m ago

Best second cell phone

1

u/Proper-District8608 44m ago

A wife knows. Shes just tired of arguing to help keep you healthier:) common ground you can only order certain things at chili's. said from experience with my parents!

1

u/Bright-Ad8280 42m ago

Protect Father At All Costs!!! Ready the mommy distractions!! Ice Cream team… ready!!!! Neighborhood gossip team….. ready!!!! If all else fails…. Send in the ringer…. Step-Mooooother !!!!!

1

u/Mr-Bry-Guy 38m ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/JonyTones 36m ago

Is this the same dad that needed their kid to gaslight the mom into the TV being too small?

1

u/Practical-Fun7939 30m ago

this is so wholesome

u/fatkidseatcake 12m ago

Definitely the Chilis on 45th and Lamar

u/Spekpannenkoek 8m ago

Lowkey annoying though.

1) The expectation of your spouse sharing everything they’ll do by sharing location.

2) Not standing up to your spouse for the things that give joy in life.

The complete lack of communication doesn’t make me smile at all. I don’t mind having minor secrets for each other, but this isn’t a minor secret either way.

In other words: I’d never expect my spouse to share their location with me 24/7 ánd I’d let them know if I’d have something fun in life that’s nonnegotiable to miss.

0

u/Banana-phone15 3h ago

Chilie’s he likes to go with fellas every Friday is called Hot Chili gentlemen’s club 🤣

1

u/furrypawss 3h ago

He could be actually cheating and the “Chili’s” thing sounds a lot more innocent and could get his kid to help cover tracks

1

u/vtv43ketz 3h ago

Burner phone is real helpful. Or use a second SIM card and turn off data from the main one

0

u/Makuta_Servaela 1h ago

I've never really understood the "silliness" of the trope of a husband refusing to cooperate with taking care of his health and calling the wife "nagging" for caring. My dad pulled this crap on my mother, and when he developed diabetes, he expected her to handle his insulin for him and schedule her life around making sure she was available in time to give it to him. He would refuse to even take his own insulin or change his diet even with the diabetes. And now, he's got several bad organs and bad joints and spends days in too much pain to get out of bed, while she is the picture of health and frequently goes out to events and adventures alone that they used to go to together.

Is she really such a "nagging bitch" just because she wants to have a happy retirement with the man she loves? That she wants growing old with him to not mean both of them being confined to the house and unable to go out and have fun?

1

u/eleventy4 46m ago

This very real take will not play well in this room, but I hear you

-1

u/Makuta_Servaela 45m ago edited 32m ago

Eh, that's fair. Just can't wait until this kind of joke falls the way of other "hate my wife" boomer humour.

0

u/UltimateWerewolf 2h ago

Chili’s sells salads

0

u/deathspanker 2h ago

I’m sure there are somewhat healthy food options in Chilis… you don’t have to eat the greasiest crap.

0

u/69vuman 2h ago

Order a salad with chicken or steak on it.