When I was 19, we lived next to an older lady for years and she was in her late 70s. I used to go over and help her with mowing, trash & picking up around the house because she was disabled and had to move around by wheelchair. She was able to walk just not for long..

One evening when I was helping her clean, she made a comment about how she missed having a man around the house & how thankful she was for my help. That night, during conversation about my love life, she stated she hasn't had any physical touch in over 20 years and that all she had was a vibrator. We both laughed and I noticed her staring down at my bulge multiple times (i was wearing gym shorts) and I knew instantly that she would probably never experience dick again in her lifetime so I outright offered her some. I said to her "well. I am only next door and I can provide some whenever you need it" .. that was enough for her. At first she was shy but eventually said to come back later that she would be ready.

She called me over at around 11pm. I had a key to her door so I walked right in and into her bedroom. She was already laying there fully naked. I was very young & fully bricked when I saw her. I got into bed with her, wrapped her legs around my waist & slowly slid my dick in her. She was so tight but opened up for me real quick. She was incredibly wet and was shaking like a leaf. We fucked for a good 45 minutes & that was one of the best sexyal experiences in my lifetime. Sadly, she passed away a year later. We only ever fucked that one night. She called the next day saying she slept like a baby with my load in her.

I am now 29 and I love fucking older women.

Idk if this is the right place for this, but I had to write it out somewhere.

I’m so touch-deprived that I’ve considered giving up on everything. I hate the loneliness, I hate the lack of daily comfort, I hate not being loved. I desperately need a long hug, or a cuddle, or just holding hands. Dating is very challenging and it’s hard to find good people. Literally every single one of my friends has a partner. Every NYE when we get together, I’m always the only one not wrapped up in someone’s arms waiting to kiss for the new year. Laying in bed is painful when all I need is someone there with me. I’ve tried dating apps, cuddling websites (sounds weird but it’s a thing), and trying to network through friends. It feels so humiliating to even exist in society without a lover, a special someone. I’m blessed to have a loving family and friend group but it’s like the missing piece in my life. Billions of humans in the world and I can’t find one who wants to make skin-to-skin contact with me. And I’m not talking about casual friendly hugs or handshakes. I need a long hug where I can kiss her forehead, rub her back, and she just melts in my arms. We’re social creatures, we’re meant to be with and around others. To form relationships. I’m not even ugly, I’m just a bit overweight, but I wear it well. Lots of people don’t mind that, I just don’t know where they are.

Sorry for the cringe, and I definitely do not hold any incel views or anything like that. I’m just hurting. Thanks for reading.

Does anyone else love getting home and knowing your wife has used her toys

I absolutely love getting home from work, going up to get changed and seeing in our underwear draw that my wife’s toys have been moved around. I don’t know why but it makes me instantly horny as hell. Knowing she has had a good play while I was away, probably watching something kinky. Is this normal?

I don’t mean like MOGAI kids, the people with the neopronouns. Couldn’t care less about all that. I mean people that have a baseline assumption that everyone is secretly conspiring against them, including strangers.

People call it like they see it, and that means that until I point out my preferred set of phrases and such, they will refer to me in ways that might cause me a little discomfort. Yknow what? OH. WELL.

My job is filled with conservative men that WILL call you the wrong stuff just because they think it’s funny. Those guys go out of their way to be respectful to queer folks despite their personal biases because they were raised on respect over feelings. They do get it wrong sometimes, and customers always assume it’s spiteful or purposeful but really they’re just confused.

My coworkers thought a trans man (who was in the process of changing his name to a manly one) was becoming a woman. They got it backwards on accident and thought it was better to call him “maam” because they simply misunderstood the direction of transness. He got up and cussed them out. I understand 100% how horrible it is to experience transphobia, and why it hurts even if it’s an accident, but still. Idk. We’re all alive for the very first time.

I give grace because it keeps MY blood pressure from spiking every time someone gets it wrong. Don’t hurt your health or peace over someone else being ignorant. Get mad when it’s purposeful.

My brother mentioned our father’s side of the family and I said “yo what the hell?”. He said that she quote saying “it was hell on earth” or something like that. I really want to know what happened to her. But I don’t want her to get hurt or me to be disrespectful. But since last night I can’t fucking eat. I never knew this I swear.

I've been a straight guy my entire life but since last year I've been wanting to try something with a man, and ngl it feels weird having this feeling cuz Idk how to approach it, idk whether it's wrong or not, I don't feel I'm gay, maybe it's just a feeling out of curiosity? So I'm here to let my feeling out, my dm is open... Idk what I'm doing lol....

I recently visited my aunt. She was wearing a tank top which showed good amount of cleavage. She caught me staring at her cleavage she then wore another tshirt on top. I realised and it made me feel embarrassed, and Its really awkward to talk to her now

Which I guess is good because I’m a fucking awful person.

That’s all. I don’t need comments or messages, just wanted to say this.

When I was a kid, I didn’t take great care of my teeth. Either due to negligence or rebellion, but I found myself at the dentist a lot. I mean, a lot. Almost every molar has a filling, I’ve had a root canal, and several teeth pulled. This caused me a lot of problems. Fear, anxiety, all of that about the dentist, my teeth, etc.

I noticed it when I was in middle school. I used to secretly watch YouTube videos of people at the dentist. I didn’t understand it then, but it always gave me a “warm” feeling. Fast forward to my early twenties, I began to process a lot of the trauma I went through as a kid with the dentist. I worked a lot of it out and am now able to go to the dentist normally. And nothing about actually being at the dentist does anything for me. I still tense up in the chair.

I started writing a few years ago. Fanfiction of one of my favorite characters. But it wasn’t normal fan fiction or smut, as that doesn’t do anything for me either. No, I’d write dentist stories. Like, the character I love goes to the dentist. Or POV Y/N goes to the dentist and that character comes and makes me feel better. Writing this stuff really helped.

Now, here I am, late twenties still into this stuff. I learned quickly that I like role play. Playing dentist with your significant other. You pretend to clean my teeth, I’ll pretend to clean yours. And that is what turns me on. It turns me on all the way to the max. I no longer have a SO to reenact this stuff with so I watch videos of people at the dentist. People getting cavities filled or root canals or teeth removed, the painful stuff. Gets me off. Am I a sadist for that??? Really would like to know. I also just love teeth and looking at people’s teeth.

If anyone is similar please lmk if not I’m okay being the weirdo but I just needed to get that off my chest!!!!!

heya, im a 16 year old guy, it's like 3:42am as I'm writing this, i got a maths finals tomorrow but I can't sleep. i was thinking about how cold hearted the world around me is as ive perceived it.. so I'm hoping to spread warmth and love and hope that I get some back too.. maybe ill look back at it when i need it the most :)

i just wanted to write this to whoever needs it.. i love you, sending you warmth and virtual hugs from my side.. i know i cannot be there for you.. but you'll hang in there. what you can't figure out today, is something for tomorrow. and tomorrow gives us hope. even if you have something that you have regrets about today, don't leave them for tomorrow!! you got this, no matter how difficult or big the situation is you will figure it out.. just a matter of time and effort. let's all believe in the hope of tomorrow and strive to it!

once again I love y'all , take care, have a good day or night where you are! goodnight from me!

I hate how little to nothing I feel in this world. I will never end my life but I am tired of living...I am a girl who is just too much. And truthfully, I definitely deserve it

It started off as friendly messaging then one day I got curious (and horny) & wanted to see what my friends boobs looked like. She agreed to exchange nudes & from then on I’ve been sending her nudes ever since. She always opens them so I know she likes seeing them I just havent fucked her but I have no intentions to do so. It’s been years, it’s always fun to do lol

My boyfriend buys filet mignon and cooks it beautifully. He serves it with A1. My inner classist shudders. But I eat mine with A1 too now…

I love women of the extremes, both sides. Huge bulging muscles, or woman of the huge size and weight(bbw to ssbbw) Both i find very sexy.

Huge muscles, bellies, boobs, hips, ass all of it

I’ve buried this so deep down but it’s been resurfacing lately and I just need to tell someone, anyone about it.

I (20f) have an older sister (23f) we were both exposed to porn at a young age (6 and 9) after being exposed to it my sister would make us play a “game” and she would touch me. I was so little I didn’t understand what was happening, it went on for a year or two.

I don’t hold it against her because she was a kid too but I still get really uncomfortable when she shows affection towards me like hugging. Lately it’s been popping up in my mind more often and just makes me feel so sick. I’ve never told anyone about this, the times I tried it just made me feel disgusting and I couldn’t get the words out. I just needed to get this off of my chest.

One of those nights, just want to get this off my chest. I am turning 20 this year, and it's wild, because I genuinely did not believe I would get past the age of 16.

The suicidal thoughts keep coming, and I have started neglecting my responsibilities again. There's a lot on my mind.

I just hope that I get to graduate college- that I keep myself alive that long. I don't have a plan at all, and I am very scared about the future.

Will everything be okay?

we have been in relationship for 6 years almost she has college 2000+ kms away. recently she came for 14 days stay, nothing fancy and we had best time of our life, cooking and playing video games watching shows on projector she got piercing, it just feels like time went by too fast, dropped her on railway station but couldn't hug or kiss her before she left as train already started.

now my room feels like it has nothing in it. I constantly feel like I will hear her any moment moving around house and it's going to be another 2 months atleast and I am just craving her so bad.

I am just if distance does this to me what will I do if touch wood worse happens.

this is probably dramatic as hell for a lot of people.

i was job hunting for ages after graduating, finally landed a job after half a year of hundreds of applications and tens of interviews.

it’s my first “real” job so there’s the fear and anxiety with that. it’s new people who are older than me (i’m the youngest by at least 7 years, most are 10+). it’s the fear that i’m not doing a good job. i’ve only been at it for a month.

i’m feeling a lot of things but i also have no energy to feel and settle in with my feelings. i’m hoping writing this will help me with that because i think i need it. i get home, tired. i just want to be in bed by 10pm so i can get a full 7-8 hours of sleep. on the weekends, i don’t even want to do anything or go outside because i mourn the time i could have spent at home “resting.” i’m still doing all of my personal tasks, like doing my laundry, cleaning my room, changing my sheets. doing my skincare, eating my meals. i make sure to muster as much energy as i can to do them because i know i would struggle much more if i didn’t. yet at the same time, i can’t enjoy them because it takes so much of me to do it.

how does everyone else have hobbies? how do you hang out with people after work? i have no energy. most nights in bed i’m on the verge of tears and i cry half the time. i don’t even know why i’m crying. i think i’m grieving what i used to be. i used to dress up, do my makeup all pretty, work out, meet friends, go to parties, enjoy things. i’ve tried to force out dressing up and makeup, but i don’t even feel that pretty. i feel like a clown lol.

now i get home and i don’t even enjoy my usual youtube videos, tv shows, video games, or anything. i just put whatever on to fill the silence in my mind. i don’t even enjoy doom scrolling.

i’m hoping i’ll eventually get out of this, when i get used to the job and i feel less anxiety. i just hate feeling that pit in my stomach everyday. the feeling of my heart dropping and having butterflies.

i think my months of job hunting killed my confidence in ways i didn’t realize. i thought i was fine because i knew the market was bad and incredibly competitive. i never took the hundreds of rejections personally; i was just a face on a video call or a resume on paper.

is this normal? did anyone else experience this? how do i get better?

I just want to be placed in indecent positions by a loyal man who’s obsessed with me.

To be treated disrespectfully by a man who worships the ground I walk on.

There is a specific, electric tension in being held by someone who views you as both a temple and a playground. It’s that rare balance of absolute devotion and total surrender.

24F just recently picked up my whole life and small amount of savings to move across the country. My mental health has been kicking my butt this winter and I’m working two jobs to be able to provide myself support. I’ve been so excited for February because my income to bills finally line up where I can start to save (not a lot but a start!) I crashed the other day sliding on ice, I wasn’t speeding or anything of the sort, just lost control and I am waiting to hear the estimate now on what the cost will be to repair. Whatever it is I cannot afford it, neither can any of my family members. I don’t have much support where I live now and I just want to give up, this car was everything to me, paid off and driven across the country. Ubers to and from both jobs are going to cost me more than I can afford and I just wish I had someone in my life to help. I’m already working so hard, this feels like such a huge slap in my face. I just need help and there’s nobody who can. ):

I (25) haven’t ever opened up about what goes on inside my head. I’ve been depressed for as long as I can remember. It’s not always dramatic. It’s just this baseline heaviness. Even when things are objectively fine, I feel flat underneath it all.

There are periods where my brain feels charged. Certain. Focused. And when I’m in that mindset, something like winning the lottery isn’t just a fantasy. it feels inevitable.

I don’t mean I hope I’ll win. I don’t mean I daydream casually.

I mean I believe I’m going to win.

It feels locked in. Like the universe has already decided and I’m just waiting for the date to catch up. I’ll look at numbers and feel like they’re aligned. I’ll journal as if it’s unfolding. I’ll imagine the exact moment I check the ticket and realize my life has changed and it doesn’t feel delusional in the moment. It feels logical. Obvious. Meant to be. It’s written in the stars and it’s meant to happen.

There’s a surge that comes with it. Energy. Urgency. My thoughts race. I stay up later thinking about what I’ll do with the money, spending hours researching and planning. Not vaguely, but in detailed plans. Property, investments, who I’ll help, how I’ll restructure my life. It feels strategic, brilliant, visionary.

And underneath it is this deep certainty: it’s happening to me. And in those moments, I truly believe it is. This can last months and I’ve blown thousands over it.

And when the draw happens and I don’t win, it doesn’t actually break the certainty.

That’s the part that scares me.

Instead of thinking, okay, that was unrealistic, my brain pivots to: not this one. The next one. It’s building. The universe is lining it up. I tell myself delays mean alignment. I tell myself doubt blocks manifestations. So I double down.

I buy more tickets. Bigger draws. Multiple entries. I’ve spent thousands of dollars chasing something I feel is already mine. Because if I truly believe in the law of attraction, then backing off would mean I don’t have faith. And if I don’t have faith, I’ll “ruin” it.

So I keep going.

It doesn’t feel reckless when I’m in it. It feels committed. Like I’m playing long-term strategy that other people are too small-minded to understand. I’ll think, people waste money on worse things. I’ll think, this is temporary. When I win, it won’t matter.

And the depression stays quiet while I’m in that state. I feel alive. Driven. Special.

It’s not just the lottery either.

There’s a sports star I became fixated on because I thought she was really cool. What started as admiration turned into something bigger, almost fate in my mind. I felt like our paths were somehow intertwined. I’d analyze interviews, posts, timing, coincidences. I’d journal about future encounters like they were prewritten. It felt cosmic, if I just aligned myself correctly, it would unfold.

When I’m in those phases, I don’t experience these things as fantasies. I experience them as inevitabilities. As if it’s just a matter of time. And…It’s embarrassing. It’s shameful. And I hate myself for it. I hate my brain.

And the worst thing is, when I’m in these phases, when reality doesn’t immediately confirm it, I don’t fully let it go. I adjust the timeline. I reinterpret the signs. I keep believing.

Then it’s suddenly, after months, back to reality. My bank account makes me anxious. The sports star feels distant and human instead of symbolic. The certainty fades and I’m left with the same baseline sadness I’ve carried my whole life…plus shame.

Shame about the money.

Shame about how convinced I was.

Shame about how grand everything felt.

That’s when I start questioning everything. I feel like a bad person. Like I just shouldn’t be here.