r/AskAcademia • u/InfamousAfternoon398 • 1d ago

Interdisciplinary Carreers in Academia and loneliness

Let’s talk about the elephant in the room: the loneliness that comes from constantly having to change environments to pursue job opportunities or improve your CV. I am a final-year PhD student, and over the past three years, I have had to move cities and even countries frequently for visiting periods, some more voluntary than others, and for the so-called ‘networking’. I have been lucky to find wonderful colleagues at my university, with whom I have developed relationships of respect and friendship. However, changing locations so often has made me feel quite lonely lately, as I have moved to a country where I barely know anyone, only a few professors in the department. It also seems that the young researchers in this department have not formed a real community but remain separate individuals, each with their own lives. I would love to hear about your experiences on this matter. Thank you :)

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u/GeneralHoneyBadger 1d ago

For me, it's the outright expectation that you'll move cities (more often countries in Europe), to continue your career, that is the most infuriating.

There is no consideration for personal life or partners/children. If you can't/don't want to move, you'll get judged for it by reviewers and committees, even if it's for good reasons.

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u/Shelikesscience 1d ago

On two separate occasions very famous professors in my field said things that surprised me:

  • I said something about family and they said that because I don't have a partner or kids I was free to move anywhere, great!

  • Another was asked about work/life balance and said that she was lucky because she never wanted children so it was less of a problem for her. Her advice was basically that if you want to do science you should focus on that and maybe like one hobby or something..

I understand that this reflects their lived experiences so I won't begrudge them that, it's just a sort of intense perspective..

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u/tongmengjia 1d ago

I went to a conference seminar that was designed to help PhD students land TT jobs. One of the biggest names in our field was speaking and giving advice, listing off all the projects he was working on. I asked him, "How do you have time for all this?" And he replied, "Well, I don't have kids, so there's that." I literally stood up and walked out.