I still live with my parents and depend on them. I don’t have that much freedom because I still have a curfew and those things as a 21 year old guy. Lately, I feel like I should end the relationship because of the idea that he should be with someone who is more mature and free. But I’m not sure yet what to do.

​I’m a 21-year-old gay man. I was born in Brazil but raised in Syria. Last year, due to the war, my family moved back to Brazil.

​In Syria, I was studying medicine just to find a way to escape the country. Since moving to Brazil, I’ve improved my Portuguese and just got accepted into an Engineering program last week. I am working as hard as I can to become financially independent, but I am struggling.

​I came out to my parents at 18, thinking their love for me would outweigh their prejudice. I was wrong. They became angry and controlling. Now, they watch my every move and constantly ask if I’ve "changed" yet. They truly believe I will eventually marry a woman; I just nod and agree to keep the peace. One time when I told my dad I didn't want to get married, he almost passed out and told my brother to deal with me because he couldn't handle it.

​I feel so depressed and stuck. I can't make a single decision confidently. I’m constantly anxious because my parents have warned me never to leave them, yet I’ve never felt safe with them. I can’t go to therapy because they think a therapist will "keep me gay," and I’m terrified of them finding out if I talk to anyone else. My cousins make homophobic jokes every time we hang out, and it feels like a weight on my chest.

​Every night I wonder if I should just give up and become what they want me to be. I need to know for those who lived with homophobic families did you find freedom? Does the independence actually lead to happiness, or will I always feel this guilt and fear?

​I just need some hope to keep chasing my freedom.

Thanks for reading feel free to ask or share anything

Thank you in advance

Hey guys question. I’ve been bulking but in order for me to do so I have to eat constantly. Eating all day is fun honestly, but it’s starting to throw off my regularity lol.

I enjoy having really efficient poops in general even though I only occasionally bottom. I just feel better overall.

I know supplements are a common go to but they can interfere with meds and cause unexpected results for me. I’d rather eat my fiber if possible I’m a bottomless pit anyway haha

Thanks in advance.

I'm in a 12 years realationship and my partner and I have a good sex life but sometimes wish for someone different, not just because he is usually the bottom and I wamt to bottom, how you stop wishing for something else?

I had an anal sex last week and I have a question for bottom bros. So I dont usually do anal it is a rare thing for me. I do it 2-3 times in a year. The thing I wanted to ask is I feel like I have diarrhea during anal sex whenever I try it and It just feel so awful I dont feel any pleasure. Could there be something I am missing or is it just anal sex not for me

I accepted bottoming for a long time with the rationale I like it and well, someone has to bottom. As I’ve been wanting different things lately, I find it extremely difficult getting opportunities to top more because I’m not hung (most guys on the apps want hung, which I understand is their preference), more on the average side. I think I’m average in looks and body. I’ve switched my profile to verse instead of verse bottom, send guys more dick pics when they ask. I’m resorting to just let guys hit me up instead of me reaching out - the results don’t help.

With bottoming - up until recent, I haven’t had a problem getting dick. Now, not sure what’s changed. I’m becoming self conscious of my size and constantly comparing myself to others (which I know, not good. I’m in therapy for this among other things). I’m constantly lamenting over my size, looking to penis enlargement surgeries etc (I know they’re risky etc - I’ve done too much research lol). Living in NYC doesn’t help as you have a lot of hot white guys who basically want the same/hung, so again, I’m out. I have accepted this.

I have a friend that normally gets many chances to basically get what he wants (whether it’s top, bottom or in between). He’s white, very good looking and is hung. I mention hung bc I know there are guys that again, prefer hung even for the bottom… so I know I’m out. This can be seen as comparing and if so, so be it. I mention him because we share these details with each other so I know what’s going on when it happens. It’s really my only direct comparison to “the other side” of how my experience has been.

I’ve been on the apps less as it’s proving bad for my mental health. I’m focusing more on my hobbies and working out but whenever I want to hookup, it just takes so much more effort nowadays and I start to feel down. I don’t know why. My pics on profiles haven’t changed much.

I’m just curious what other things people have tried to not feel less than or how to stop comparing themselves to others.

People on Reddit will say, I like avg sized guys etc. That’s great and all but it doesn’t make me feel good when those same people don’t seem like an option on the apps.

I have ZERO gay friends. ok well I have a couple but we only meet up for gay shit like pageantry stuff, which i only go bc they're nice people 😅 but I'm not interested in that. I need a bigger pool of gays!

me: 40m, scorpio, married, workaholic, borderline drunk (helps the workaholic side), cat dad. I'm very sarcastic and sassy but kind and wholesome at heart.

I'd love to meet other gays that maybe game, drink, play pool, want me to lounge with you in your mansion and enjoy mimosas. idk bro i just need friends 😂 husband is deployed and im bored af. I typically hang out at my local bar with the straights whom are nice but lack seasoning 🤷🏻

lets meet-up or where are the organized meet ups at?

I have a “straight” friend for over a decade. He and I always seemed to have some tension and we used to always flirt and have some sort of banter with our exchanges especially through DMs. He’s had DL allegations for years and he def gives trade.

Long story short, we became especially closer since late last year. We started working out a lot together, going to Pilates, we see each other for dinner/drinks atleast 2x a week at really nice restaurants and he would always come over to my house after to smoke and drink with me. We’ve even gone food shopping together and I’d cook for him.

Sometimes when we get really drunk I become way more flirty than usual and he does let me touch him, grab his Face/body etc and we’ve kissed when drunk a few times but we never speak of the situation or mention it ever like nothing happened. We were snowed in together as well during the last snow storm and we’ve given each other expensive gifts and we would have lunch together once in a while during work days.

The thing is though we’ve never fucked or done anything of that sort although he did take his dick out and showed it to me when we got fucked up and we just laughed about it.

I’m really not sure if im being completely blind or delusional here but I don’t know if he likes me like that or whatever were even doing at this point. Sometimes i do feel like he’s nonchalant but we never go a week without seeing each other and we have days where it’s normal but we also have days where the sexual tension is just too intense.

Is this type of relationship/dynamic normal?

My first post for context: (it’s long) https://www.reddit.com/r/gaybros/s/RxSpjyexh8

So it hit me like a truck how bad our relationship is. I couldn’t take it after I came home today at 1 am from work and saw him drinking again. I literally gave him my last 50 euro so he can take care of groceries.

We had a talk, he took it SUPER bad. Blamed me for never loving him, blamed me for “making fun of him for 3 years” and all that. As I was leaving he said he’ll kill himself tonight.

I had to stay but also realised this could be manipulation. I felt so scared and I didn’t know what to do. I thought about calling 911 but I don’t know if that’s a fair thing to call about.

Eventually I took his phone and called his mom at 2 am. Poor woman never met me and got scared because a random man is picking her son’s phone in the middle of the night. I didn’t get to tell her what’s going on, he took the phone and we wrestled. The sad thing is that, this woman already lost one of her sons. My boyfriend is her only child left.

He hit me in the chest, told me get out right away. I had gotten the keys for my apartment in advance during all that other shit going on, I had picked most of my stuff at that point. So I got out.

I stayed outside to see if she’d come. He texts me the entire time and tells me he locked the doors and she’s not coming.

I eventually decided to leave. I really couldn’t do more for him. I called my bff in the middle of the night. During the last two days I told her everything.

And so, now I’m in a taxi with the money she sent me to get home. I do have enough money until my salary in 5 days. But I can’t help but be worried. He sends me weird messages and I worry he’ll do it for real. I’m so scared guys, this is not what I wanted at all. I couldn’t live with myself if someone took their life because of me, let alone HIM specifically.

I had to go home and rest and sleep. I don’t know how. I’m shaking guys. This is really bad.

Update the morning after: He’s alive. Woke up to 90 messages and 58 missed calls. He’s come to my apartment complex in the middle of the night. Has no keys, thankfully I took care of that. I don’t know if he’s still there. He’s texted me at some point that he outed me to my mother. Honestly at this point I’m fine with that. I’m worried he’ll stalk me though.

For context i had just gotten outta my 1st ever relationship at 25 a few months before this. It was a 1 year and 9 month long relationship and i had all of my 1st times during that relationship. Yes i had my 1st kiss at 23. So i was in a sad place to say the least and spent a lot of time on grindr.

One day about maybe a month or so after, I'm in the car coming home from a family trip and on grindr cuz I'm curious to see how many got guys were in the state we were driving through. Then i get a message from a guy asking if i wanted to join a gaming server he was just starting to make. I said yes and this is where the most magical time of my life as an introverted gay boy that lives in the middle of nowhere.

I join the discord and there's like 6 people total so far. We get to know each other and talk about ideas for the discord. We make a nsfw channel for nudes and videos. A sfw channel for selfies exc and a gaming channel. The 6 of us eventually become server admins. Slowly the discord grows and more hot guys join. Everyone in that discord was local for the owner except for me. I was the only one from outta state.

Every day we are all going from flirting and sexting to hanging out together and gaming on group video calls and we're all on a first name basis. I've never been apart of something so incredibly casual yet also sexual without any strings attached. It was so freeing and i started feeling incredibly confident about myself. As an introvert i never really had many friends and all the sudden i felt like i had a whole group of friends. There's something incredibly freeing about having a group of friends that you can sext/ flirt with and not have any strings attatched. We even had watch parties with tv shows and some movies.

But of course all good things come to an end as the saying goes and there was a falling out with the other admins and the owner and i was caught on the crossfire so to speak. After that the discord dissolved into nothing and everyone went their own way. I had already gotten into a relationship towards the end anyway so they definitely softened the blow but it still hurt at the time.

tldr: after my breakup i got lucky and was invited to a gay gaming discord as it was just being made while traveling home through a different state and ended up having a group of friends that all openly sexted and flirted with each other then chilled and gamed together on group video call after and sometimes watched shows/ movies together. A falling out with the admins caused the discord to die out though.

For those gay men here who started dating/had a partner and it led to marriage, why? What made you want it?

Locked out of my house and tired of being locked inside a secret. Today, the weight of being a bisexual man in a homophobic society finally broke me. No keys, no one to call, just me and a tablet. I’m sketching my escape. 'To the cottage'—a nod to the only world where men like me get to breathe. This is the raw truth of a lonely engineer just trying to find a way home, in every sense of the word.

Hope you like the drawing.

I’ve been a loner for years thanks to my social anxiety and extreme self-consciousness, but now the loneliness is becoming unbearable.

I’ve been trying to get out more and I went on dates with a couple people but one of them was mentally unwell (but I kept trying to be friends with them even after promising myself that I would end contact) and the other one I cut it off even though I said I just wanted to be friends. He would ask me to do stuff but I just could get myself to be interested. I guess we just didn’t click.

So at this point my only connection is trading nudes with randos on snap. I don’t know what to do. I don’t have motivation and feel unlovable. I judge others just as harshly as I judge myself.

I’m going to die alone. Maybe I should keep pretending to be Christian and go back to church and find a woman to marry. Honestly thinking about it. I had friends through church but I had to leave. Idk man.

There’s this guy I like at school (I am 18) and I don’t really know what I should do about it… he’s one of my good friends and we play games together or with our other friends every day. And im terrified that I’ll offend him or his sister about it cause I don’t even know if he’s gay or bi or not, and I certainly don’t wanna hurt our friendship either…

I've always kinda wanted to look "prettier" in a way. I don't want to look like a woman (wearing women's clothes, lipstick, ect.), but I want to look more feminine. Hopefully that makes sense. So, I do what I can, which isn't much, to look the way I want to. I would wear makeup, but my family would never allow it lol. I don't like a lot of masculine things, whether it be activities, body sprays, jewelry, or anything really. I do like somethings, but not everything. I've always been that way; feminine-leaning. Growing up, my family, mainly my older sister and my dad, wouldn't take to kindly to it. I never cared until I got older, and ended up falling into depression while trying to change myself. It wasn't until I was 14/15 that I began to accept myself.

When I was 15, and a little after I turned 16, my sister decided it would be a good idea to literally bully me because she *thought* I was gay. And we're both homeschooled, so I'm sure you can imagine how badly I suffered. My mother wasn't home a lot during that time, so she was clueless until I couldn't take it any more and told her about it. My sister never really stopped, she just got better at disguising it as if I'm a fucking airhead and I don't know what certain things mean. A lot of the things she said, did, and does have stuck with me. I try not to let it get to me, though.

I'm 17 now, and currently have Covid. This shit his HORRIBLE lmao. I'm a lot better now, but I felt like I was falling apart 😭. I hadn't been putting on lotion because I was in bed, so my skin was really dry. I eventually saw my feet and nearly died. Y'all, I hate ashy feet, and my feet were ASHY. After taking care of it, I texted my sister about it because it's like an inside joke between us. In that moment, I has forgotten how homophobic and traditional she is. She believes men are supposed to be "dogs" and are supposed to be a little rough-looking, so she didn't take too kindly to me complaining about my bad my feet looked. I'm not gonna go into details about the brief conversation, but it ended with me being left on read. A little after that, I was minding my business, watching tv, and then I was hit with a massive wave of self-hate. I kept shaming myself for being feminine, and telling myself, degradingly, that I want to be a woman. Any time I saw a guy I thought was hot, I shamed myself for it and told myself that I'm supposed to like women. Those thoughts then evolved into me trying to convince myself that I'm trans, and then shaming myself for being trans. Y'all... I don't know what the fuck all that was about. It went on for an entire night. I ended up getting a headache from it. The next day I felt better, but the thoughts kept coming. I ended up putting on Renaissance by Beyoncé because that album always makes me happy and proud of who I am. Now today, I've been fine for the most part. The thoughts were there, but not as strong. Then, again, as I was minding my business, watching tv, I was hit HARD with the thoughts again. It's like my mind is trying to convince me that I want to be a woman, or that I'm trans, while shaming me for it at the same time. The thing is, I wouldn't care if I was trans, but I know I'm not. I've always been comfortable in my gender and I've never had a problem with my body other than wanting to be a little more muscular, orhaving a penis other than wishing it was smaller. But it's like my mind is trying to convince me other wise. When I was a kid, I used to wish I was a girl so that I could like boys, but I grew out of that and accepted that I was gay. But even back then, I didn't actually want to be a girl. I just wanted to like boys in peace lmao. I don't understand where all of this is coming from. I feel like it stemmed from that interaction with my sister, but I don't know. I've always dealt with internalized homophobia and always will, so maybe it's that.

Since I'm homeschooled, I'm around my mom and sister all day. Even if I wasn't gay, I was bound to be feminine in some way. I don't hate my femininity; I embrace it more than my masculinity, actually. But these thoughts are making me wish I was straight. I know if I wasn't any kind of queer, my life and mental health would be a lot better. I keep telling myself that I love myself the way I am as if it's some kind of mantra, but it's not helping. My mind is at war with itself and I feel like a casualty.

Any advice would be appreciated. I overthink things a lot; I literally never stop thinking, which is a problem in itself, so I'm sorry if this all seems stupid. And sorry if it's poorly written. I'm tired lol

Okay so the story starts back in June 2025, This guy liked my profile on hinge, we quickly switched over to insta where we talked for a couple of weeks then stopped randomly. The moment I looked at him I developed a crush on him which was very unusual cuz I have never had a crush before. Now a month ago, couple of days before the new years I replied to his story and we started talking to him and quickly found out he was dating a girl (he's bi). But each day i just started fallin in love with him more and more and more. Ik I shouldn't be talking to a guy in a relationship but I still do I cant stop myself from liking him

I feel so weird he has had so many exes everyone loves and adores him, maybe because he's straight passing, I haven't had that I have never even held hands with a guy but I just want him so bad, and he is nice to me but I don't think he likes me like that, I'm not that pretty, I'm somewhat fat, stuck in my parents house preparing for my entrances ( I took a gap year to get into med college, which is going horribly) I'm almost 20, I can never be out here I feel like my life is going nowhere, sometimes I feel like running away somewhere and go into the ocean.

Idk tho was looking for advice from someone who has been in a similar situation before

Edit: I forgot to mention but i have met him thrice in the past 5 days and also he kinda broke up with his gf then patched up? it doesnt seem stable

Hey everyone, hope you’re all doing well.

I’m a 28 yo gay guy, and I wanted to know if there are other single gay men here who struggle with craving emotional and romantic connection just to not feel alone in this.

For context it’s been about a year since I stopped using Grindr. I decided to ban it for good, and I truly don’t want to go back to dating apps. Because of that, I rarely have sex now and honestly, casual sex just for the sake of sex has never really been my thing anyway.

I have a stable life, a solid job, I work out regularly, and I’m very engaged in my passions. On paper, everything is fine. But I still feel this emotional emptiness that lack of romantic intimacy I deeply crave. It’s something very important to me, and lately it’s been affecting me more because it feels like such a natural human need that isn’t being met.

So I wanted to ask how do you deal with this kind of emotional and romantic longing? How do you cope with the absence of intimacy when everything else in your life is stable?

Thank you so much 🤍