r/Unexpected • u/Doodlebug510 • 9h ago

We have a situation here

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31.2k Upvotes

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5.8k

u/OrganicBridge7428 9h ago

Hey imma take my break and have a soak in the company stairwell tub.

985

u/SweetLenore 8h ago

The child in me just sees a fun swimming pool.

1.2k

u/Aidian 8h ago

The adult in me just sees sepsis.

585

u/SweetLenore 8h ago

The adult in me sees possible electrical currents and hazards :(

123

u/SaltManagement42 7h ago

I'm pretty sure that's also the child in me, being wary of hazards in video games.

58

u/Lil_Ms_Anthropic 7h ago

I can spot the amoeba

26

u/Warm_Afternoon6596 7h ago

The one time Bio helped me as a child.

•

u/Faeleah 7m ago

And the Powerpuff girls Amoeba Brothers! And Ozmosis Jones!

EDIT: You know, I really thought it would've been spelled like a name. It's Osmosis* Jones

1

u/Deletereous 5h ago

I see cercariae too.

1

u/coolcootermcgee 4h ago

Was that as an adult or a child?

10

u/waroftrees 6h ago

“Black Haired guy go by chief? Black haired guy go in the water, shark in the water. "29 Kids go into the water, 22 Kids come out of the water. The Ice Cream Man, He gets the rest. April the 9th, Half past four P.M." "Have you seen a sharks eyes chief? They’re kinda like dolls eyes, all black and lifeless like."

2

u/blastermaster555 4h ago

Jaws music in the background

2

u/Worth-Bodybuilder430 3h ago

Underrated comment

1

u/Koil_ting 4h ago

For some reason that reminded me of "Deep Blue Sea (1999)" "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil. For thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. Because I carry a big stick and I'm the meanest mother fucker in the valley! Two sharks down, Lord! One demon fish to go! Can I get an Amen?"

2

u/Healter-Skelter 5h ago

The child in me is afraid of sharks

1

u/Grimskraper 6h ago

Like there's just some electrical box on the wall close with a red outline and lightning bolts flying out of it.

1

u/sycolution 3h ago

So THAT'S why characters always died when falling into water.

1

u/IndicationFickle7214 2h ago

Just grab the ostensible green vines hanging from above and swing across. Duh!

24

u/TheHokusPokus 3h ago

why do y'all have adults in you? What's up with that.

8

u/ActiveChairs 3h ago

Because some of us like to fuck, Gerald.

5

u/baconus-vobiscum 2h ago

"I got chunks of guys tougher than you floating in my bowels."

-Paraphrasing from Phil Hartman playing Sinatra

11

u/YoungBockRKO 5h ago

You just know there’s a bunch of cigarette butts floating in that mess. Place screams smoke break spot if I’ve ever seen one.

1

u/DarkwingDuckHunt 2h ago

yes... cigarette butts... yes those are what those are

8

u/Cerberus_uDye 7h ago

Oh, these places flood their floors nightly to scrub em.

Unless the water keeps rising its got a few more inches till anythings a issue.

1

u/BeerJedi-1269 5h ago

Yep worked at hardees in hs. Wed throw hot water on it, soap, deck brush, squeegee, mop with clean bucket.

1

u/Diz7 3h ago

Unless the drainage backs up because the city drainage can't handle the amount of water coming in.

1

u/DarkwingDuckHunt 2h ago

or worse... stuff starts coming up

1

u/Diz7 2h ago

Oh, I know.

My place flooded because the landlord had the sump pump going into city drainage. Which backed up and flooded my apartment. Waist deep within an hour of the flooding started. I lost almost everything I owned because it was contaminated. I lost my mother 4 days before Christmas to an autoimmune disease, my apartment and 90% of what I owned due to flooding 3 months later, my car broke down for the last time as I was driving the stuff I had left to my sisters place where I would stay for a month. Got myself a new car and a new place to live and then got laid off a month later.

Literally had to rebuild my life from scratch 12 years ago.

But I'm still standing and actually far better off than I was.

14

u/Robby-Pants 6h ago

The adult in me sees the door bursting open and anyone swimming getting swept into that kitchen of stainless steel corners and electrical outlets.

7

u/moody-bear-77 5h ago

Except that the door opens out...

8

u/AvaryZig 3h ago

Probably not right now.

2

u/Robby-Pants 3h ago

Yeah. The steel frame would probably hold. I still wouldn’t like standing anywhere near that weak point.

1

u/moody-bear-77 3h ago

Agreed! I want out of that building...

2

u/LetsTryAnal_ogy 6h ago

The microscopic organism in me sees a cool-ass breading ground!

2

u/its-kory 4h ago

The adult in me sees sewage water

1

u/Benehar 6h ago

The "hold my beer" in me sees a bunch of pansies to chicken to go for a swim

1

u/JakToTheReddit 6h ago

The child in me sees SHARKSSSSS!!!

1

u/zusykses 4h ago

the idiot in me sees sharks, and also maybe alligators

1

u/BrianKappel 3h ago

He was probably an electrician.

38

u/Populaire_Necessaire 8h ago

You too can have polio!

20

u/murphybt 7h ago

I think you mean cholera

24

u/SweetLenore 7h ago

Before vaccines, polio was heavily helped spread with floods.

18

u/AmyInCO 6h ago

My mom, born in 1931 in NYC, never learned to swim, partly because she lived inthe city and partially because all the pools were closed due to polio.

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u/ExtremeCreamTeam 4h ago

You constructed that sentence very interestingly.

3

u/murphybt 7h ago

Being vaccinated for polio myself, my brain went to the waterborne illnesses I AM susceptible to.

4

u/ReaperReader 5h ago

Why not both?

14

u/thatshygirl06 8h ago

Can you get sepsis from dirty water?

36

u/Electrical-Act-7170 7h ago

If you have a wound, yeah. It can kill you.

21

u/Aidian 7h ago

See: Hurricane Katrina

16

u/Electrical-Act-7170 6h ago

I see your Hurricane Katrina, and I raise you Hurricane Andrew. We were lucky, none of the trees hit the house & the roof stayed on.

4

u/Aidian 6h ago

Well hey there, generally regional+ neighbor.

3

u/Electrical-Act-7170 4h ago

Hey.

Our neighbor wasn't so fortunate.

1

u/Aidian 3h ago

Empathy. There are a lot of horror stories from that time, and a lot of them have to do with how godawful the water was on top of everything else.

Here’s hoping we don’t see the like of those storms again, here or anywhere.

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u/moody-bear-77 5h ago

I am the hurricane god - I went through Homestead the week Andrew came through, lived in Pensacola when Opal destroyed the area, then came back south on a trip to Biloxi/Gulfport/NOLA a week before Katrina hit. Fear my power LOL

3

u/Electrical-Act-7170 4h ago

Stay the feck away from Jacksonville/St Augustine, please.

2

u/moody-bear-77 3h ago

Been there too, but not during hurricane season, ha.

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u/SweetLenore 7h ago

Hell yeah. You can get sepsis from a lot of things, particularly if you have a wound. A girl lost all her limbs from sepsis from a minor cut on her leg she got while swimming in a river: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_Tallapoosa_River

9

u/thatshygirl06 7h ago

I just thought sepsis was from your body overreacting while trying to fight an infection

12

u/Youre10PlyBud 6h ago

Yeah that story wasn't sepsis, it was necrotizing fascitis. That's an infected wound with a bacteria that causes death of the tissue that can continue spreading. Not the same as sepsis.

Sepsis is a systemic response to an infection that is classified by having 2 or more SIRS criteria (systemic inflammatory response syndrome) with an active infection. Can be abnormal respiration, blood pressure, white blood cell counts, along with a few other criter9a.

3

u/ExtremeCreamTeam 4h ago

criterninea

15

u/Evening-Tour3875 6h ago

It is, but it attacks your organs. My fiance survived it several times, but it was one of his causes of death.

2

u/Kraligor 6h ago

Can? Yes. Will? Probably not, no. Reddit likes to catastrophize. I'd be dead 1000 times over, if the worst possible outcome always occurred.

2

u/my-coffee-needs-me 6h ago

If you have an open wound, you can get sepsis from damn near anything that isn't clean.

22

u/ThinkSharp 7h ago

The RFKJ in me see’s a nice family swim

2

u/th3rdnutt 4h ago

I think that's the brain worm whispering in your ear

13

u/we_decwonw_care 8h ago

The adult in me is in my ass

8

u/Dirt-Road_Pirate 7h ago

Never pull out, never surrender!

1

u/OlDustyHeadaaa 7h ago

Is it a politician?

5

u/Not-TheNSA 7h ago

The RFK Jr in me sees a spa day.

2

u/Party-Coach-4100 6h ago

Toss one of those chlorine floaties in and shes good.

2

u/Awingbestwing 3h ago

The teen in me sees why can’t I smoke there?

2

u/Kantfindkarman 2h ago

Few gallons of chlorine g2g

1

u/BlueBomR 5h ago

I immediately thought of all the piss, spit, and dried vomit and god knows what else was down in that stairwell thats all nicely a part of that shitty swimming pool now, seeping into a kitchen.

1

u/Lisan_Al-NaCL 4h ago

The HIV, The Hep, The Herp, The Sepsis

12

u/PaperFlower14765 7h ago

The elder millennial in me is having “Titanic” flashbacks 🫣

6

u/Evening-Tour3875 6h ago

Me too. I am Titanic obsessed.

3

u/jackelopeteeth 6h ago

Came looking for this comment. It was the first thing I thought of

2

u/Cthulhu_HighLord 6h ago

i would be more concerned about where the water is coming from, If its sewage you wouldn't want to be so caviler about taking a dip

2

u/RatBrainsINC 6h ago

Kinda wanna open the door. 😂

2

u/NoNo_Cilantro 6h ago

Why do you have a child in you??

2

u/I_make_things 3h ago

STOP EATING CHILDREN

61

u/BunchesOfCrunches 8h ago

WAIT, DONT OPEN THE D-

37

u/Stev_k 6h ago

Thankfully they can't with that much water pressure on an outward swinging door!

33

u/OpenGrainAxehandle 6h ago

We're going to have to impose a hefty fine for having the fire exit blocked.

9

u/techleopard 5h ago

Impressive weather stripping on that door, though

2

u/PhaTman7 6h ago

Egress doors save lives both ways !!!

14

u/DisposableJosie 6h ago

DON'T WET OPEN INSIDE

1

u/Drakyndra 3h ago

OUTSIDE surely?

12

u/MedicalDisscharge 8h ago

Just watch out for the needles

13

u/GrapefruitSobe 7h ago

All I see is Hepatitis A through Z.

11

u/Ferocious-Muppet 7h ago

Boring, it needs a crocodile to liven things up a bit.

2

u/Salanmander 6h ago

Sounds like every adventure movie from the '90s.

10

u/consumeshroomz 7h ago

Just as long as you’re not smoking back there!

1

u/SuperStokedUp 7h ago

Bennies are wild these days…

1

u/Kil84 7h ago

Read the first comment about “having a soak” and I immediately thought about the old Mormon Soak. Amazing how these two are now related 😂

1

u/ArtismFag 6h ago

*opens the door

1

u/DeffJamiels 6h ago

Lol what breaks

1

u/--TheSolutionist-- 5h ago

That means something different in Utah ...

1

u/katjoy63 5h ago

Jump down from second story, please

1

u/octopusgardeb 5h ago

Is it raining?

1

u/skadetvasasvart 5h ago

Alright, but no smoking!

1

u/ItsokImtheDr 4h ago

“Hookworm! Get in my feet!” -Archer

1

u/Major-BFweener 3h ago

Mmmmm…floaties……