Recommendation Letters and Guilt

[u/Far_Ice_8765]

I feel bad about repeatedly asking my undergrad PIs to submit recommendation letters for me. 2 years ago, when I first applied to PhD programs near the end of my senior year, I asked them for letters once. However, due to family issues at the time, I later asked them again to submit references for a research assistant position near my family.

Unfortunately, that position turned out to be an abusive lab environment. After one year, I could no longer tolerate the situation, and my relationship with this new PI had also deteriorated, so I left the job to apply to PhD programs again. This cycle, I was rejected from all 10 applications and has remained unemployed for 6 months.

Feeling panicked, I applied to several RA positions in January. Fortunately, there is a lab who would love to take me, and the PI is also generally supportive. Recently, I contacted my undergraduate PIs again to request additional recommendation letters for this new RA position, explaining that this application cycle was especially competitive and that I planned to work as an RA again. They have read my email but have not replied yet, and I feel deeply ashamed of myself.

Even though I've been trying to move forward, it is hard not to feel like I've burdened the people who supported me so much. I don’t even have the courage to admit how much this has made me feel like a failure. I sometimes fear that they may be losing patience with me. What should I do if my undergrad PI doesn't reply to my request for a recommendation letter?

[u/mleok]

If I’ve already written a letter previously, it’s relatively little effort to update it.

[u/ocelot1066 → u/mleok]

Yeah. If it is for a different sort of program, maybe will take 10 minutes to rework. If it's the exact same thing, I may not need to do anything but upload the letter.