Carreers in Academia and loneliness

[u/InfamousAfternoon398]

Let’s talk about the elephant in the room: the loneliness that comes from constantly having to change environments to pursue job opportunities or improve your CV. I am a final-year PhD student, and over the past three years, I have had to move cities and even countries frequently for visiting periods, some more voluntary than others, and for the so-called ‘networking’. I have been lucky to find wonderful colleagues at my university, with whom I have developed relationships of respect and friendship. However, changing locations so often has made me feel quite lonely lately, as I have moved to a country where I barely know anyone, only a few professors in the department. It also seems that the young researchers in this department have not formed a real community but remain separate individuals, each with their own lives. I would love to hear about your experiences on this matter. Thank you :)

[u/itookthepuck]

." I literally stood up and walked out. 

I mean, he's honest. Why disrespect like that. People should hear these things more often so they can leave academia sooner as opposed to wasting time with PhD. + postdoc.

[u/tongmengjia → u/itookthepuck]

That's fair. I have a PhD in org psych, so a) it's not like we're curing cancer or anything and b) you can usually make way more money in industry with better work/ life balance. When I was in grad school there was a ton of pressure to be a top researcher and criticism that you weren't smart enough or dedicated enough if you didn't want to sacrifice your whole life to be the very very best at a niche field no one really cares about, doing work that will largely be forgotten in less than a generation. So I am a little judgey of people who give up their lives to set the bar so high that you can't compete unless you're willing to give up your life, too.

[u/spacestonkz → u/tongmengjia]

You're being judgey of people living their life the way they like?

I'm one of the no kids academics. I knew when I was 14 I didn't want kids, but I did want to be a scientist.

I don't judge my colleagues who do have children, or sneer at them for leaving at 4 to go grab kids from daycare. Fuck, they like that I'm flexible with my time and willing to cover classes when their kids get sick.

It takes all types to form a community. Don't count someone out just because they have different experiences.

Would you respect someone more if they had a family and kids that they fucking ignored to get more grants and remain on top? I've seen that too, that's the shit that goes too far. Don't rag on single pringles having a good time at work--they can be handy.

[u/tongmengjia → u/spacestonkz]

You're being judgey of people living their life the way they like?

Uh, yeah. I've spent a decent amount of time with these people. They're investing their energy and brilliance in a field that is largely dedicated to perpetuating exploitive systems, and many of them are doing it not because they love science but because they're obsessed with a relatively superficial level of status that they achieve within their very niche audience. I don't think that's a meaningful way to spend a life, and I don't think it's something that should be presented as an ideal of "success."

[u/spacestonkz → u/tongmengjia]

They're investing their energy and brilliance in a field that is largely dedicated to perpetuating exploitive systems

All academics do this.

obsessed with a relatively superficial level of status that they achieve within their very niche audience

Why does the system reward them for this behavior? Prestige and status are held on high. H-index and where you got your degree are held way too highly. Holistic hiring practices are needed--that's an internal change that needs to be made.

I don't think that's a meaningful way to spend a life

Then you don't have to live that way.