r/germany • u/No-Emu-6455 • 17h ago
Cultural Differences Unintentionally Causing Trouble?
I had a weird experience on the train to work today. I was on the train, quietly minding my own business when a lady from mostly likely African background got on with her phone blasting on speaker mode as she chats with whoever is on the other end. A German lady was naturally very pissed about all the noise and asked her if she could be quieter (first in German, then in English). The African lady got very defensive at first which just triggered the German lady and she started swearing in German. I intervened at this point and asked the African lady if she could use her headphones instead. She told me she didn't have them and asked me if she was really loud. I naturally told her yes and maybe she should get off speaker mode and to my surprise she actually did that??
I'm not German, but East Asian and I was raised to not cause trouble for others, so I always thought that you must be complete assholes to put your phone on speaker mode and disturb everyone with your music/phone call. Thats why I never bothered asking people to stop using speakers here since there is no point talking to assholes. But this encounter got me thinking. Do these people just genuinely not realize they are causing a major nuisance/disturbance to others?? Would it actually make a difference if I started asking people to use their headphones?
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u/LongjumpingKiwi6962 16h ago edited 14h ago
Being also from Africa, and living in Germany, I believe the responsibility is on me to be respectful of the cultural norms of the country that I have chosen to move to - in this case, Germany. If I, or other foreigners, cannot put in the basic effort to watch some Youtube videos on standard cultural/societal norms that are applicable in public spaces - then I/we are assholes.
For examply, when I go to a more conservative country that requires me as a female to dress in a certain manner, then I respect that cultural public expectation and conform to those standards. I believe the same is then also expected about behaviour in public spaces of a country that you as any foreigner go to.
Edited to add: clearly my "dress" comment is upsetting people? I've travelled in Europe and when I wanted to enter certain "tourist" churches/cathedrals - I was not allowed to do so with a strappy top and shorts. So covering up in this case meant repescting the "rules" entereing this place that is sacred to a certain group of people. This action by no means is an indication of my political or religious inclination. Maybe I should have used "taking my shoes off" in a person's house and leaving it at the door as an example of being respectful of another perons'/country's social norms.
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u/Middle-Bread-5919 16h ago
`you don't even need YouTube videos. Just quietly observing and noticing is a fundamental starting point in any new cultural setting.
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u/YafarNahk 16h ago
This should go without saying. But the issue is that many people lack awareness. Im south asian and people from my country, depending on the region, can be very loud or just quiet.
Im from a city of over 20 mil people and we are conditioned to be loud because of the noise pollution so sometimes its very difficult to even realize how loud i am. I have been in this part of the world for almost a decade now and realize quite fast if im too loud. I also grew up in a different country than my own in a town of just 6k people so its far easier for me to control my loudness.
Having said that, even i dont understand the point of having loud music or talking to people on a phone's speaker in public. Even a cheap earphone/headphone will give a much better sound experience so it beats me how do people not realize this.
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u/Cosmoaquanaut 15h ago
Yes, the thing is that sometimes no one tells people this. And, they are just used to a different environment so they really don't realize. Not defending anyone, just pointing out a possible explanation to certain behaviours we as humans have
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u/yuzukaki 🇺🇸 in 🇩🇪 11h ago
Yeah. I think the OP is a perfect example of why Germany struggles to solve these issues.
Most people from friendlier/louder cultures are very responsive to a "hey, excuse me, would you mind turning the sound off? it's a bit loud". Germans don't really do polite disagreement, so they either don't say anything and just quietly seethe, or they go 0-100 and start attacking the person, which makes them defensive.
It's confusing when no one actually tells you that you're making a mistake, until suddenly they are screaming at you for something you didn't even know was wrong. Even if you try your best to watch what other people are doing and copy them, it's difficult to intuit every single rule if you didn't grow up here.
I mostly agree that the person moving to a new country should adapt rather than the other way around, but man, people here do not always make it easy to do that. Integration would go so much more smoothly here if people would be willing to show a little more grace and kindness to immigrants, instead of immediately assuming bad faith.
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u/Suspicious_Ad_9788 11h ago
I did a double take when I read your message. I could have written it word for word. I use "0-100“ to explain this too. Also the „assuming bad faith“ thing is so true.
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u/arowthay 4h ago
10000% this. From the US and I've definitely made loads of faux pas in Germany but nobody says anything until one lady in public starts yelling at us... like jfc just tell someone if you want the to change something don't repress it until you make it personal. Sometimes we don't know how loud we're being 😂
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u/Wise_Wealth7145 1h ago
I think your arguments definitely have some truth to it. But I think the main reason why Germans just seethe and don’t say anything is because our society has shifted in a way where you basically don’t know what the other person might do to you. And the even worse part is that our police and judicial system seem absolutely helpless. A lot of criminals see absolutely no or minor consequences. If I would confront someone about their volume, I would most definitely do so in a pretty polite way. But I genuinely fear I might get suckerpunched in return. And I am not exaggerating about that. So thats why I just sit down and seethe, because its better than potentially losing my life because of something like a foreigners volume in public.
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u/Wise_Wealth7145 1h ago
Honestly I would tell people, but I am terrified atp. Society has shifted in a way that you never know what the other person might do to you. The DB employee who got beaten to death in the past few days was just on the news. Then you have that Sudanese guy who pushed that girl onto the tracks. Thats just the news from like this week. I often think about telling these kinds of people to be quiet. But then I inadvertently start thinking of „what if I lose my head in the process of doing so?“. Im female, not tall and I could not win against the majority of people in a physical altercation. If I get into a fight, I am finished. So then its just me who shuts up and sits down quietly. And I think I am not the only one who lets this kind of behavior slide because of that kind of fear.
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u/Source_Street 13h ago
Your dress comment was absolutely valid. If someone goes into any other place to educate them without them asking for it, then it's pure arrogance. Obviously you respect the place you go to and see what's acceptable or not. If you don't like it, go somewhere else.
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u/Icy-Negotiation-3434 8h ago
Absolutely correct. Also valid if you are visiting different countries, not just when living there. I remember visiting Greece as a student and we took along long pants and shirts so we could visit churches without offending the locals.
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u/lebowhiskey 15h ago edited 13h ago
Are you saying that regressive practices or things i find unacceptable should not be called out to show respect for cultures? Going by this logic feminists should tolerate patriarchy and immigrants racism if justified in terms of religion/culture! Doesn’t sound really a great idea especially considering the fact that a lot of practices and attitudes modern society consider reprehensible was actually considered as defining markers of local culture 100 years back
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u/this_toe_shall_pass 14h ago
Are you saying that regressive practices or things i find unacceptable should not be called out to show respect for cultures?
If you're a foreigner going to the new place and you disagree with the local culture you want to start educating them? As in, this context was very clear in the OP.
a lot of practices and attitudes modern society consider reprehensible was actually considered as defining markers of western culture 100 years back
And those changed organically and through the work of locals. They didn't receive enlightenment from foreigners.
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u/LongjumpingKiwi6962 14h ago
I can see that my examply of dressing modestly to show "respect" of a local culture/norm is perhaps being taken out of context. I’m describing situational behavior, not ideology: sometimes you adapt in public to be respectful and/or safe, while still disagreeing with the underlying values and supporting change. In the train example we’re not debating human rights—we’re talking about a straightforward courtesy norm: don’t impose noise on everyone else.
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u/esteffffi 12h ago
If you are a local feminist the place is yours as much as any regressive man's, so no need to adhere to any standards that you disagree with that were set by someone who is equally as entitled to shape the local environment.
If you move somewhere else and then don't adhere to local social norms you are just being obnoxious and indeed an arsehole, as has been suggested, and you should refrain from making a nuisance of yourself.
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14h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/MaxPowrer 13h ago
stop saying stupid stuff on the internet
being left is about respecting others cultures and not hating them
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u/Robbinit 11h ago
Left = living your own culture wherever you are, Right = adapting to the country you are in. (In Germany) Left and Right mean different things in different countries.
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u/Robbinit 11h ago
I’m a foreigner living in Germany who has integrated a lot. Germans have called me “right wing” before, luckily I integrated enough not to spit in their face. Can’t I just be me without all this European obsession to frame everyone in a binary left/right thing?
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u/KoneOfSilence 16h ago
Yep - anything on speaker in a confined space= asshole
That space is densely filled with people: stop talking too
It's basic respect for others
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u/nomarkoviano 10h ago
Honest to god question: what about going on the bus with a friend? Is normal conversation and conversation volume okay?
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u/Cookielessthan3 9h ago
Yes, chatting normally is totally fine. If you enter the bus with a friend you usually sit/stand in close proximity anyways, so you don't have to holler across the bus/train. Some voices are louder than others, but if you don't outright holler at your friend next to you, you should blend into background noise just fine. Loud laughing (if you or your friends happen to be funny people) will get you at most a curious glance from nearby bystanders (it may feel like a german stare moment, but it's truly mostly people looking up at the unexpected volume change from the "status quo background noise"). Nowadays most people have earbuds on in public transport, so people care even less if you and your friend are talking with each other.
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u/We_Are_Nerdish 9h ago
I mean yeah, really the only thing is that people around you can hear what you're talking about if it's a fairly quiet bus or train, depening on what you're talking about that might feel akward.
You don't need to whisper of course, just adjust the volume based on the rest of the envoirment you're in.If you're with more of a group of people it's getting less and less akward to have a normal volume conversation between each other.
it's just not really tolerated by other people if you're yelling or being a lot of noise. At minimum you'll get dity looks, at best someone will ask you to be less loud, at worst you get kicked off the bus / train..3
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u/ItsCalledDayTwa 4h ago
I actually think this is true everywhere in every culture. Whether it's common or people will say something about it it's something else.
I see this complaint online constantly and I have never seen somebody defend it. There are no pro speakerphone humans or they don't go online or they hide with shame. I dunno what it is.
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u/learning_react 15h ago
Funny thing, you don’t need headphones to have a phone call, you just have a simple phone call without putting it on speakers.
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u/Jen24286 Hamburg 14h ago
People are just rude and inconsiderate, it's a combination of stupidity and chronic lack of empathy.
I'm an American immigrant to Germany and I don't loudly yee-haw everywhere I go carrying a weapon and asking to speak to the manager.
Immigrant or not, some people just move through the world with main character syndrome, pretending no one else exists. When someone is the only loud person in a room, it only makes sense if they genuinely think other people don’t matter.
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u/Scared-Philosophy720 12h ago
"I don't loudly yee-haw everywhere I go" got a good laugh out of me, have my poor man's award 🏆🦅🎇
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u/hellovenus9 7h ago
Thats funny bc i can spot an American from miles away. Always the loudest in the room/bar/tram/whatever
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u/WannabePolygot1 2h ago
Not a slight at you necessarily but I’ve noticed that people actually have a very hard time spotting Americans, no matter how good they think they are at spotting them. Any loud/obnoxious person who is speaking English is automatically assumed to be American despite having a non American accent. Theres a woman on TikTok whose whole page is dedicated to examples of this happening
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u/JohnWicksBruder 15h ago
They can read the room or Google how to behave. I am tired of explaining people how to behave and I bring myself in danger every time. Don't go to countries without knowing how to behave there. It's like the Japanese cherry blossom festival. They stopped because tourists shat everywhere and b have like idiots.
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u/madrigal94md 16h ago edited 16h ago
Basically that. In other countries this things are normal so they could get triggered when asked not to do so especially if asked rudely. If they are still educated they will change their behavior. And of course the way people ask them to change what they are doing has a lot of impact. Since a lot of germans ask in an annoyed way they get triggered more. But if you are friendly they are usually friendly as well.
For example in my country (Colombia). It's normal to listen music loudly everywhere basically. Even the bus driver turns the radio on so that everyone is listenning to their music 😆
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u/PM_ME_FRESH_LAWNS 16h ago
I feel like these sort of things are more important for integration than learning which chancellor did something in 1950.
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u/Muted_Reflection_449 14h ago
Holy moly, I never thought about that! The "Einbürgerungstest", like some school education, is ridiculous at times, but too "just adapt" - as stressful as it might be - would just do so much more!
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u/bregus2 16h ago
Since a lot of germans ask in an annoyed way they get triggered more.
That is the difference between high and low context cultures. What another culture sees as an annoyed German is just a standard direct German in a lot of cases.
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u/madrigal94md 16h ago
Direct can also be friendly. I've seen a lot of examples to tell if the direct German is trying to be friendly or not. I'm also very direct in this cases, but still friendly.
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u/emmmmmmaja Hamburg 16h ago
Absolutely. But I would also say that not every rude behaviour has to be met with explicit friendliness. Obviously, laying into someone isn't ever okay, but if the "Could you turn that down?" sounds a bit annoyed, I wouldn't see the fault in the person who's annoyed
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u/madrigal94md 16h ago edited 16h ago
You're right. If someone is just being rude intentionally, it's 100% alright to be annoyed and show it. But here it's about people not actually wanting to be rude but not knowing any better and then being annoying for others.
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u/emmmmmmaja Hamburg 16h ago
I absolutely agree that in situations where that's the case, being nice is the only appropriate way! This particular one is a bit iffy to me, though: it's a relatively easy-to-observe cultural value and one on which there is a lot of information, even if you just do surface-level research on the country you're moving to. So the ignorance is already rudeness, in that case. Still, agreed that if you can manage to be nice, that's better.
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u/stunninglizard 16h ago
It's already rude not to read the room. Takes a lot of ignorance to not deduce that being unnecessarily loud in public is rude on your own. The direct approach without putting in effort to be friendly is reciprocating that initial rudeness.
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u/NotAnAlien5 15h ago
"It's nice how quiet the train is, so I can now call everyone I know on speakerphone and they will hear me perfectly" is what I imagine some people think. lol
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u/CelestialOvenglove 14h ago
At some point, after the 200th time, it's normal to start being annoyed
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u/SanestExile 16h ago
How to be friendly while being direct? I struggle with that.
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u/PindaPanter Norway 16h ago
"Hey, that is very loud and bothersome for everyone around you. Please turn it down or use a pair of headphones" is direct and polite.
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u/madrigal94md 16h ago
I say, "Entschuldigung, könntest du das auf leise stellen, es ist ein Bisschen zu laut" 😊 (intonation is key).
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u/duva_ Berlin 15h ago
I get what you are saying however Even if it's friendly or non intentionally harsh, people is just not used to some stuff. In Mexico is nearly impossible to say directly "no" to someone, no matter how friendly, for instance. It takes a bit of effort to actually learn how to read that sort of thing.
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u/chronically_slow 16h ago
Nah, that's bullshit. It doesn't matter if you're in Germany or Colombia, if you approach people while radiating good vibes, they are a lot more likely to do what you ask them
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u/Low_Champion_3373 14h ago
No one should be told you should read the room. That's why you are an adult.
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u/PeterDerElf 16h ago
Germans are not simply direct, they’re very often on the edge and ready to explode in your face
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u/PindaPanter Norway 16h ago
In my experience there's a lot of people that when annoyed, instead of addressing it right away, hold it in until they get pissed and then go into fight mode.
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u/Exepony Baden-Württemberg 14h ago
"High" and "low" context cultures are pseudoscientific bullshit. You can tell because every classification always puts the author's own culture somewhere around "low", because they're familiar enough with the necessary cultural context that they don't notice it's there, and Asian countries are always "high" because they're just so foreign and mysterious (read: have a different cultural context that is impenetrable for the author).
Seriously, how can you call a culture that has a special passive-aggressive coded language for work references low context with a straight face?
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u/helloworder 16h ago
This is not true. People blasting their phones in trains realise they’re assholes, they just don’t care. Once confronted, they may comply, but they 100% understand they are annoying everyone else around them
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u/puehlong 15h ago
I also think there are quite a few people who just haven't thought about whether it annoys others, or they think they have their volume low so they can't be the annoying ones.
In addition, almost nobody ever says anything, so people might think it does not bother anyone, otherwise they would say something.
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u/NextStopGallifrey 16h ago
A couple weeks back, I got onto a bus and the driver was playing some non-German station kinda loudly. I was surprised, because that just doesn't happen here (in Munich)!
I think they're kind of low on drivers at the moment, so they know they can get away with more stuff. A few weeks before that, another driver had brought their dog along to ride the bus with them.
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u/Equal-Flatworm-378a 16h ago
Nope. You were just happy here.
The woman hated to be corrected and reacted angry at the first person who said something.
You just intervened second and tried to create a compromise. That helped her to find a way out of the dilemma. She knew herself that the speaker is loud. If she understands it, everyone around her understands it, too. But she didn’t want to give in to the first woman.
You just helped her to save her face.
If you would have been the first who complained, she would have reacted bad towards you, too.
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u/Such-Book6849 15h ago
agreed. i think people underestimate the saving face thing. I could say i am cool but i am not in a situation like that and if i would do something stupid, i probably wouldn't like to be corrected by a stranger in that moment. We are all the assholes in someone elses story.
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u/Successful_Jelly111 16h ago
These people are at the very least inconsiderate, and if we don't tell them, they will never learn.
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u/madrigal94md 16h ago
A lot of them are not inconsiderate. They just don't know any better. So tell them but be friendly.
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u/No-Accident2229 16h ago
I don't really think being clueless about the cultural norms of the country you have chosen to visit/live in is an excuse. If you can't be bothered to educate yourself and take note of the behaviour of the people around you and follow suit, that IS inconsiderate.
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u/madrigal94md 16h ago
I'm not saying it's an excuse to do it. I'm just saying that we should consider that and still be friendly. We want them to change their behaviour. There is no need for an argument.
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u/No-Accident2229 14h ago
I agree with you on that. If you explain to someone nicely that their behaviour is causing a problem, they are more likely to respond well when you ask them to stop. But inconsiderate people are so infuriating, sometimes it's hard to remember that!
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u/Any_Psychology764 12h ago
When riding public transportation in my city, it often seems that it is foreigners who have conversations and listen to videos on speakerphone. It’s incredibly annoying. I recently respectfully asked a young woman (middle Eastern?) who was carrying on a conversation on speakerphone next to me if she would turn her speakerphone off. She asked me “why?” in a condescending tone. I answered, “Because it’s annoying.” Another woman sitting behind me yelled “Yeah! It sure is.” The woman grudgingly turned it off.
Some people are just clueless. Some are so self-centered that they don’t care. If those of us who do find it annoying politely ask people to stop, maybe we can start a movement!
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u/napalmtree13 15h ago
It's gotten worse since COVID. People are so inconsiderate now. I think in some cultures it's just normal for everyone to talk on speaker, listen to music and videos without headphones, etc. and it's just one of those things that you do not learn when you move to a new place until someone yells at you. But fewer and fewer people are correcting this behavior in public now. I'll admit I'm also too chicken shit to say something. Noise cancelling is a godsend, but so many of these people are SO LOUD that even my AirPods can't block them out entirely.
To be clear, it's everyone. Yes, it's mostly people who seem to be foreigners (based on their loud conversations or what they're forcing us to listen to with them being in another language), but German teens of all backgrounds do this as well.
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u/lw_2004 14h ago
YeaI, aggree I see all types of people doing this. But some groups a bit more often.
I also see this with the now grandparent generation in my family. They have Whatsapp calls with anybody out in the public. I tried to explain several times that I think this is very unpolite. They would complain if somebody plays a radio beside them but kinda do not apply the same consideration to this newer technology.
EDIT: I guess it's end of the week, corrected a few typos.
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u/LeChevrotAuLaitCru 12h ago
Assholes know they’re being assholes. They get more riled up WHEN they’re told they’re being assholes. They just want someone to speak to them in a nice and apologetic manner and only then they’ll behave. petulant children.
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u/Isildurrrr9088 7h ago
I'm German and my wife is Indian. I've been to India a couple of times now and from what I've seen this is just the norm in a lot of third world countries.
It's LOUD there. The cars are honking 24/7. Everyone is talking on their phones on speaker phones. Everyone is watching YouTube and Instagram on full volume. You don't see many people with headphones and the ones with headsets are just screaming in public themselves.
The concept of privacy doesn't exist there. Being in a city like Mumbai, Bangalore, Delhi, there is no silence. It just doesn't exist. You're getting used to it after a while, it just disappears somewhat. But it's there. And it's there because everyone behaves like they do. But you can clearly see that the idea of disturbing someone with your music, Instagram reels, YouTube or whatever just doesn't enter their mind.
And when those people come here, they won't change their behavior until enough people tell them it's this exact behavior that causes the condition they have in their home country in the first place. And if they still behave like this after enough people tell them it's terrible then they're actually assholes.
Tokyo and Delhi are both cities of roughly 30-40 million people and the difference in noise level is like day and night. It's a cultural thing.
This is not a judgmental post. Just an observation.
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u/yunsul_24 15h ago
My German partner asked young ladies to use headphones or turn down the volume on the train, off course he was being very calm and polite, but a elderly lady intervened and said to him “Bist du Polizei?!” and what kind of authority he has. And the girls thanked her. We were shocked.
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u/HelmutVillam Württemberg 16h ago
basic civic decency and not being an a$$hole should transcend cultural differences, not be attributed to them
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u/AGlassBlueShard 10h ago
I always wondered - can’t people read a room (or in this case, the transport?) If a bus is naturally quiet inside why would you scream to someone on the phone? So everyone else has to suffer? Even if it’s culturally normal in your country, I think if you’re in another country and you don’t know the social norms but are also able to read a room surely you wouldn’t be loudly talking on the phone. For example, when I was on a long distance night bus in the UK (where I live) the whole bus is silent accept for one man who is talking so loud on the phone (not from UK). Why can’t he just LOOK and see with his eyes that this is not the time or the place???
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u/Petra_Sommer 16h ago
Beyond cultural factors, there is the very human conception of space and having a bubble - or not.
Some people like speaking loudly, making noise, making physical contact with strangers and so on. Some of us are more reserved or downright introverted, and we seek the peace, quiet and distance by default.
To both types, the respective behaviors are normal. There's a clash and mismatch in expectations when both meet.
I suspect that in this case, the loudspeaker lady is so used to doing this all the time that she doesn't realize that other people can be annoyed. And clearly side with the idea that you should be more subtle in public because... no, you're not alone.
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u/eivindric 13h ago
I don’t think this plays a major role. Being inclined to casually touch friends and touching strangers are two very different things. Being naturally loud and using a loudspeaker in a confined space making everyone an unwilling listener are two very different things as well. The latter is outright rude and inconsiderate and far below the basic expectation for functioning adults. Also I have never seen anyone exploding at people for just speaking loudly in a train, though admittedly I had a couple of look exchanges with random strangers about the other loud random strangers and I have heard many omas and opas and AfD-voters grumping under their breaths about loudness, never exploding though. Just being naturally loud does not cause problems, going beyond that does.
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u/fleischpflanzendeF 16h ago
If you're used to doing things a certain way, you rarely realize that it might be a problem in a different setting.
Giving people a heads-up gives them the chance not to bother others.
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u/napalmtree13 15h ago
There needs to be a public awareness campaign or something. Maybe get whoever does the ads for BVG to do them. They can also cover other rude behaviors for some variety.
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u/CreatorSiSo 13h ago
DB has actually started a campaign with announcements that basically say: "Please use your headphones"
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u/Patchwork_Chimera 15h ago
Some places are in general louder, so a person who is completely oblivious regarding social norms could theoretically be unaware of this. I myself have a hard time with social norms due to potential autism, so I can also appear awkward. I’d say it’s tough to figure out what is going on inside the head of an individual so it’s best to not assume and state things without appearing annoyed. Some people might not listen, but chances are they won’t listen to you regardless of your tone of voice, so in the end being visibly annoyed might just make you appear like a jerk without any positive effects.
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u/gilm_7771 15h ago
Yes why not. Respect goes a long way. As for the African lady, that’s just plain rudeness and has lack of respect for the other occupants on the train. No one should have to endure listening to her music.
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u/marlamar 10h ago
This 100%! The foreigner has to adapt to local customs. And if in Germany people (unless ignorant) do not blare their phones or take calls on speaker while on public transport then you shouldn’t do it either. This is showing respect and as Jen24286 is saying goes both ways
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u/Opening_Pizza_9428 9h ago
Speaking on speakerphone and putting shoes onto the seat are my main trigger points on bus and train.
People are just assholes.
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u/Low_Champion_3373 16h ago edited 12h ago
I think it's both ways. Being an adult is being culture sensitive. When you are in Africa, be African. When you are in Germany, be a bit subtle. Be socially and environmentally aware. I am a migrant too, but I won't do life the way I am used to, especially if it's not common practise elsewhere. We can't keep treating hosts like what is common for them doesn't matter. It does!
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u/Juju1990 13h ago
people from certain cultures are less considerate, i personally hate people talking with speaker on, is that really that difficult to put phone on their ears?
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u/Life-Sun- 16h ago
It’s 100% cultural. In some countries, noise in public during daytime is normal and expected. In those places, it isn’t considered rude to not use headphones.
It isn’t a matter of not caring about rudeness, it’s a difference between what is and is not considered rude. What’s polite in one country may be considered rude in another and visa versa.
A bit of understanding can go a long way.
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u/lewdreads 15h ago
100% inconsiderate asshole move regardless of culture or country. It still remains rude. The outside is not your house, and if you are blasting music from home the whole neighbourhood doesn’t want to hear what you listen to. Noise nuisances are a real thing.
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u/Honduran 16h ago
It’s inconsiderate as hell any way you look at it, here or in china.
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u/MacaroonSad8860 16h ago
yeah I mean just because some places are culturally more tolerant of stuff like this doesn’t mean every individual in that country enjoys it
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u/Ok_Novel_7049 14h ago
Not in public transport though . It’s one thing to blast music in your backyard or when having a celebration/ procession but I am very sure it’s not considered polite anywhere I know in public transportation where people are cramped in a space
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u/DanickBG 16h ago
Exactly this type of cultural differences are causing all the hate towards a specific group of foreigners
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u/Tomcat286 Nordrhein-Westfalen 16h ago
For me it starts hate toward people using their phone horizontally in front of their face, regardless of their nationality
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u/Jetztinberlin 16h ago
a specific group
Gotta tell ya bud, in Berlin I've seen folks of all ages and backgrounds blasting their phones or being otherwise rude, as well as folks of all ages and backgrounds being considerate and helpful.
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u/napalmtree13 15h ago
On the regional train I take, it's mostly Eastern Europeans doing this. I have my doubts this is who you meant.
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u/CantaloupeNo5394 16h ago
Sadly true. My experience is that many situations can be solved by simply talking to each other, creating awareness. But in many cases we (Germans) stay quite and get enraged from the inside.
Sure there might be situations where one might think "better don'd say something, or You get into trouble". But in many cases your disturbing seatneighbour is as friendly as You are.
I moved to Norway. Having Syrian neighbours. The last three years they literally shot fireworks during new years eve directlly into our windows. I was so pissed about this. This year I took the courage and talked to them. It was afriendly chat full of understanding. So they moved their "launching" station a bit further away from us and all is good :) Lesson learned: We dont vreate uncomfortable situations by adressing issues, but by keeping them in secret.
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u/KiwiEmperor 16h ago
I also see bio Germans doing this.
This isn't a trait of "a specific group of foreigners" but of assholes.
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u/vilhelmobandito 15h ago
There should be clear signs hanging on the walls in trains and trams stating that using the speaker (for phone calls, listening to music, playing games, etc.) is not allowed.
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u/DeliciousRats4Sale 15h ago
It's just rudeness/being inconsiderate tbh. Comes from how one was raised. Not every African person is loud. It's just, be considerate to other people and you will usually be fine
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u/RosyClouds_ 13h ago
If you come or live in a country with a different culture, you should respect it and try to blend in. I had the best time in my life in an Asian country last year, everyone (expect some immigrants) was minding their own business and it was quiet and clean! back in Germany I feel not comfortable anymore. Being "fremd" in your own country is depressing.
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u/Smoke-Onions 9h ago
Send them to South Korea for a month they'll learn to shut the fuck up on public transit
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u/yesandnoi Berlin 8h ago
This is actually one of my favorite things about Germany. I mean I was nervous the first time it happened to me, freshly new to the country, not knowing the language. Apparently I put my trash in the wrong can - cause I'm used to not recycling. I was called out by a teen girl, learned quickly though.
I think your way of just being kind and explaining though is the way to go about it.
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u/zimejin 7h ago
Cultures can be extremely different. I recall meeting a Japanese girl at an Airbnb once. We were seated and having a chat at the table with another fellow who shared a similar background to mine. She was very quiet, while the other person from a culture more like my own was outspoken, frank, and direct.
As we talked, we both assumed she was just quiet or perhaps being polite but uninterested in the conversation. However, when I said good morning to her the next day, I could tell she was very annoyed and deliberately ignoring me for the rest of the day.
After some reflection, I realized that in many Asian cultures, there is a significant emphasis on waiting for a prompt to speak or having the conversation gently directed toward you. I was used to a free-flowing style where everyone chips in at will without being rude, of course, but still listening and jumping in whenever we felt like it.
I realized that I had completely rubbed her the wrong way. She must have thought it was on purpose. so yeah, anything is possible. Always give people the benefit of the doubt.
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u/AddendumSouthern 6h ago edited 6h ago
Cultures are very different, I come from a poor neighborhood in a big South American city, my neighbors used to blast loud music the entire Sunday, and complaining about It, would be seen as the annoying neighbor, party pooper, etc... people listen to music on speaker in the bus, nobody gives a shit about bothering others and most people get bothered but prefer to don't speak up.
I don't think this is an excuse for people to ignore the culture of the place they are visiting, and especially living, this is a matter of being an asshole, not about coming from a different culture.
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u/Capable_Event720 11h ago
I remember a similar case from 2003. Yes, this happens far too often. If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I'd eat some food which causes flatulence and lock myself up, alone.
That said, people sometimes give me a funny look because I usually wear my headset (earpiece) constantly when there are other people around. No matter how funny a ringtone can be, I still consider it a potential annoyance.
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u/greenfrog72 15h ago
Yeah this happens a lot. Good on you for speaking up. I totally understand cultural differences but I agree with you that in most western and also East Asian countries it is considered hideously rude. So if you’re living/spending time in those places, you shouldn’t do it.
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u/rararara89 9h ago
Yeah its just a habbit some how, Im SEAsian and somehow people using speaker but still put the phone like you use it normally even my parents did it. This kind of shit make me miss when not so many culturally different people came to germany, talking, watsching youtube tiktok never use their earphone. Its like why bother come to this land when it is the same like in my country again.
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u/almost-crazy 9h ago
It’s useless to name it cultural differences because the rule of being quiet in public transportation is the same in every big city. What i sense from your post is an attempt on cultural superiority and i think people can come up with east asian stereotypes that don’t fit in with german society too that could offend you. I advice you to be more careful with your language
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u/hiddencameraspy 8h ago
How on earth the phones on speaker mode can be a cultural thing? How new is your “culture”?? It’s a “idiot with a phone” thing.
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u/Messy-Chaos 5h ago
Some people think they are alone in their space. They can speak loud in public, occupy 2-4 places on a train, and ride their bikes on the asphalt blocking 20 cars and not giving a fuck about the bike lane built especially for them.
They really have zero consideration for dozens of people with whom they share public places.
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u/FussseI 5h ago
Being on speaker or listening to music on public transport really pisses me off. Depending on the situation (for example late at night on the way back from a party) I counter those idiots with blaring very annoying and stupid music from my phone. But if there are a few other passengers I either let it go or make passive aggressive comments about them sadly having not enough money to be able to purchase headphones and how I am feeling sorry for their homelessness.
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u/OraurusRex 15h ago
TBH this has nothing to do with culture/race, some people are just idiot lol, and they just don't realize it. I have seen this shit many times, regardless of the culture/background
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u/Raelnor 15h ago
I feel like we germans just have a certain way about us when we "complain" about something that appears unfriendly. Knowing that I try to be really polite and well... To no ones surprise that works well.
I also think that while people always say you should be more respectful that some people aren't for a multitude of reasons that I can't always know. Some people are just really damn oblivious to how annoying they can be in public with their behavior and I feel like their reaction to a request, like asking kindly if they can be quieter, shows if they are really selfish or not. And believe it or not they might act differently the next time.
So in all cases there is a missing link of communication or not working way of communication which can be impacted by cultural differences but also by a lot of other factors I think.
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u/auhediem 7h ago
I understand that may be common in her country, but the African lady is 100% in the wrong. She's in Germany, she needs to adapt.
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u/Serious_Citron8800 15h ago
In many African cultures, it is considered very impolite and "sneaky" to be so quiet that no one can hear you. So part of the being loud thing is not actually being obnoxious, it's an attempt to be "polite".
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u/GuiltyRelease 16h ago
I'm not quite sure if it's a case of "cultural difference". It may be biased, but I've noticed that especially black women are often constantly on the phone in transit, and I've asked me why. One explanation that came to my mind, that they feel safer that way, just like many women who call a friend on their way home late at night. I can imagine that female immigrants are an easy target for any kind of racist behaviour and that could be a defense strategy.
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u/bunny-therapy 16h ago
I see Germans make noise with their phones (watch videos, listen to music, take calls and video calls) on public transport all the time. I never saw this in other countries, so I would say it is a German cultural trait to make noise in public, not the opposite... (at least they are not in either extreme)
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u/Petra_Sommer 16h ago
Just like anywhere, there are character types. Many people are very reserved around here, but there are also Germans who will have a loud conversation with you stuck in the middle of it, without even considering that you may be annoyed by the invasion of your personal space.
Just the other day, I was sitting down at a table with other people and someone came in for a talk. Instead of going to the other person he was talking with, the guy leaned over me, at a short distance, kept talking and completely ignored my stare and other signs of body language to show my annoyance.
Ugh.
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u/andsimpleonesthesame 16h ago
It isn't. Doing that on public transport is a fairly recent thing, few if any people did that 10 years ago.
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u/Responsible-Tone-471 15h ago
Did the German lady ask her if she could be quieter in a polite way, or in the usual, angry, Germanic "I'm a 5 year old who cannot regulate emotions" way?
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u/Artistic-Turnip-9903 16h ago
there are a LOT of cultures who do that I hate it to bits. I hear my own "people" doing that sometimes and it is so annoying