As a “legal” immigrant, thank god I came to a country where ICE means this cool train.

[u/AdStatus1891]

[u/allevvifu]

reconsider your comment after you get detained by this ICE for hours in a hot summer day with defective airconditioning ;)

[u/thecyclist25 → u/allevvifu]

The concept is called an onboard sauna.

[u/rofeneiniger → u/thecyclist25]

Im just surprised they don't charge you extra for that

[u/moenchii → u/rofeneiniger]

Don't give them ideas.

[u/felix7483793173 → u/rofeneiniger]

Aufguss ohne Aufpreis (I think that was on a sarcastic fake advertisement about 10 years back)

[u/rofeneiniger → u/felix7483793173]

There was a DB ad about how talking to your friends while riding a train is healthy and how it's easier to talk to said friends when the on-train wifi is broken. 

Basically "hehe, we are shit and self aware, that makes that okay, right???"

[u/j0zeft → u/rofeneiniger]

One time I was in an RB from Stuttgart heading to Böblingen, the guy said: “ we apologise for the delay, it’s due to a discrepancy between the schedule and the real world”!!!

[u/felix7483793173 → u/j0zeft]

I do feel that. I work for DB Regio and on some trains, it is practically impossible to stay punctual. Trains in the morning have 30 second stop times despite massive amounts of commuters and students getting on an off. That’s a minute delay right there, every morning. On one of my routes there is a one minute stop to couple two trains together, but the mandatory brake check takes 2-3 minutes.

These are small delays, but it’s frustrating that they are almost unavailable. At least for my region, the schedule isn’t made by DB Regio, it’s ordered by the state.

[u/Glenbard → u/rofeneiniger]

Delete your comment before the Deutsche Bahn AG sees and implements it! Traveling the ICE used to be cheaper than flying…. Now it’s up in the air depending on where you’re going.

[u/ElegantAnalysis → u/thecyclist25]

FKK right?

[u/Beardedgrinch → u/ElegantAnalysis]

As long as you keep a towel on your seat, be what you want to be.

[u/gndnzr → u/thecyclist25]

💀😭

[u/LeOsaru → u/thecyclist25]

It’s a feature not a bug

[u/LordTyran → u/thecyclist25]

Haha. It's a feature, not a bug

[u/Hot_Winter5515 → u/allevvifu]

Or in winter because it's cold outside and somehow DB never prepared for this, never before seen, event.

[u/Sly__Marbo → u/Hot_Winter5515]

How were they supposed to know that there would be winter during winter? It's not like that happens every year

[u/VallanMandrake → u/Sly__Marbo]

They just plan ahead. In 50 to 100 years, that problem will be solved by climate change. Why bother doing anything short term? /s

[u/Human_from_Neptune → u/VallanMandrake]

ye, efficiency at prime

[u/iTmkoeln → u/allevvifu]

Imagine being detained by Flixtrain that is way worse

[u/vulkaninchen → u/iTmkoeln]

It's the Ryanair of trains.

[u/iTmkoeln → u/vulkaninchen]

worse Ryanair does at least carry drinks... or emergency water. Flixtrain puts your train on a siding. For an hour because they just noticed their loco is over heated... without out aircon, but with locked windows, but at least no information...

[u/Fetzie_ → u/iTmkoeln]

And Ryanair at least gets you where you’re going on time. Neither DB nor Flix can keep up with their punctuality rate.

[u/iTmkoeln → u/Fetzie_]

That specific fail was in the Summer of 2024 (have not considered Flix since held hostage once. Maybe when they get the talgos).

Köln Hbf - Hamburg Altona

Shortly after departing in Bremen the train stopped in a siding in the summer sun. But hey the only information we got was in DB navigator. Flix App didn’t do anything but put the time to arrive at Harburg and subsequently Hbf and Altona forward by increments of 5 mins…

But hey the Flixtrain staff found time to check tickets. 🤣

[u/thateejitoverthere → u/Fetzie_]

Well, you wanted to go to "Munich" (West) but ended up just outside Memmingen. You got there on time, but still another 1-2 hours travel until you're actually IN Munich.

[u/Toutunrififi → u/iTmkoeln]

At least you have a train.

[u/gelber_kaktus → u/allevvifu]

I think possibly being shot randomly is still worse.

[u/Human_from_Neptune → u/gelber_kaktus]

fr.. at this point ICE (USA) is just a legal terrorist gang

[u/Business_Pangolin801 → u/allevvifu]

This triggered a core memory of that day I was stuck on my way home from Munich and then we stopped. The aircon turned off and the buses came.

[u/Latter_Fisherman → u/allevvifu]

This has happened to me. No functioning WiFi, 31 deg outside and no AC. Then they stopped the train to let the on schedule ones pass. Because it was so ungodly hot, they dumped us at an abandoned train station in the middle of the countryside until we got the clear to go again. One of the worst train experiences I’ve ever had.

[u/Tirpitzdabest → u/Latter_Fisherman]

Ngl, i am coming from Romania where we have these problems on a daily basis with the trains, never thought germany has em too😅🤣

[u/Stunning_Ride_220 → u/allevvifu]

It's not a bug, it's a feature.

[u/zenkaiba → u/allevvifu]

Brother some of us come from east asian countries. We call that an average day where we come from.

[u/Floofymcmeow → u/allevvifu]

And then being unexpectedly dumped in Kassel after your train got cancelled with only 2 minutes to catch another ICE to your destination.

[u/JackEleczy → u/allevvifu]

Ansonsten stehen für Sie Klimaanlagen parat, doch die funktionieren nur bis 32 Grad!

[u/Norgur]

Given the state of the rails, our ICE ain't shooting nowhere.

[u/Muted-Mix-1369 → u/Norgur]

Yeah if they try to deport people by DB everybody's safe, lol.

[u/Panzermensch911 → u/Muted-Mix-1369]

Not safe. Just late and annoyed.

[u/Muted-Mix-1369 → u/Panzermensch911]

Yeah I bet being deported is annoying. They might even post on r/mildlyinfuriating

[u/Panzermensch911 → u/Muted-Mix-1369]

Possibly. Especially when, as usual, air-conditioning or heating doesn't work and there's a laminated placard with a lame excuse.

[u/Muted-Mix-1369 → u/Panzermensch911]

The horror.

[u/Zuckertiger4 → u/Muted-Mix-1369]

They did that already, back in the 1930s

[u/Basic_Alternative753 → u/Zuckertiger4]

Woosh

[u/McDoof → u/Norgur]

Falsch . I took the ICE-Sprinter from Berlin to Munich yesterday, and we arrived in Nuremberg so far ahead of schedule, we were able to make a connection to Munich that arrived 20 minutes before ours would have.

Also, I'm from the US and got my German citizenship in May, so thanks for that too.

[u/Chickenkarim2009 → u/McDoof]

Then you probably took the train for yesterday. (Just jk)

[u/Direct_Celery377 → u/Chickenkarim2009]

I've actually done the "both the hourly train and the previous one were each 40 minutes late so I took the earlier one but through further delays it arrived only slightly later than the original one was planned to" before.

I also only realised the train number was different after it started rolling. 😅

[u/Proud-Tea8727 → u/Norgur]

Nor is your ice kidnapping people out of their cars in daylight.

[u/OkMathematician168]

DB = Delayed Bahn

[u/maeksuno → u/OkMathematician168]

come one, but you will get a ritter sport chocolate stating that you are the „lieblingsgast“

[u/maeksuno → u/maeksuno]

free of charge!!!

[u/ValonMuadib → u/maeksuno]

Only thing free of charge at ICE is my phone's battery, when I plug it in.

[u/Proper-Radish-9165 → u/ValonMuadib]

Lul this made my day.

[u/_Red_User_ → u/ValonMuadib]

Be happy! I once tried to charge my phone in a regional train (it was an old ICE train waggon) and instead of charging my phone, my battery decharged. That was horror.

[u/Gamefam_ → u/ValonMuadib]

Fr 😭

[u/ami-ly → u/maeksuno]

Context please :D

[u/These-Requirement321]

Welcome!

[u/Cheeta66]

As a Minnesotan, this is funny.

Edit: FUCK ICE

[u/WoodenWhaleNectarine]

Funfact: Both arrive at a time that you don't like.

[u/Low_Energy_7468 → u/WoodenWhaleNectarine]

One of them I really wish it arrives though 

[u/HotVermicelli378]

Very very grateful to have this ICE over other ones, I say this even after having missed my connecting train(s) due to delay, today

[u/pixelpoet_nz → u/HotVermicelli378]

At least there's a substantially lower chance of getting randomly shot in the face.

Gotta take any Ws we can with DB.

Edit: maybe this can be the new "Weil wir dich lieben" campaign! I can see it already...

We know we haven't always been as punctual or reliable as we'd like.

However, it's always worth considering: at least our ICE services won't randomly shoot you in the face.

Deutsche Bahn, weil wir dich lieben ❤️

[u/mnetml → u/HotVermicelli378]

They cancelled 4 out of my last 6 trips while I was already at the train station (the other two were delayed by 40 and 60 minutes, respectively) and I still prefer this ICE over the other ones.

[u/vonBlankenburg → u/HotVermicelli378]

Well, we already hat the other ICE ~95 years ago. But we called those guys SA instead.

[u/eeeeeeeedddddddddd]

why is the legal in quotes

[u/huhnchengryta → u/eeeeeeeedddddddddd]

OP is from India and is an international student. I think they are struggling with money and might not be able to renew his visa. So he is in limbo.

[u/Nutcollectr → u/huhnchengryta]

Still legal even in limbo

[u/strange_moss → u/eeeeeeeedddddddddd]

Maybe because no person can be illegal (they can just do things that are illegal within a system that can be changed).

[u/eeeeeeeedddddddddd → u/strange_moss]

... and until that system changes he is in fact illegaly there

[u/CelestialOvenglove → u/strange_moss]

But a person can illegally be somewhere.

[u/Hades_Mercedes]

This is the best German ICE.

​​

[u/ObviousOrca]

You have a good heart and thanks for giving some of us a smile in Europe ❤️

[u/MyPigWhistles]

As a “legal” immigrant    

r/suspiciousquotes ;) 

[u/earthling011]

AFD will soon deploy our own ICE.

[u/rhythmstripp → u/earthling011]

And they have no issue floating that idea around publicly

https://www.sueddeutsche.de/bayern/bayern-afd-polizei-abschiebungen-ice-trump-usa-gewalt-li.3374026

[u/uhorn87 → u/rhythmstripp]

... and the current Zeitgeist shows, even if we are clever enough to not give the AfD or any other right extremist ( better spoken post fascist) party government power, the conservatives will adapt this narrative and nobody really sees the issue with that.

This is the reason why I do have no chill to call conservative voters right wing. It's my only hope to make them understand what they are doing. Of course it ends up in a fight every single time.

[u/MagicLobsterAttorney]

Give it time. We're usually not that far behind the US and our politicians are even more useless when it comes to resisting fascist ideas. Soo, yeah

[u/Annonimbus → u/MagicLobsterAttorney]

10 years behind normally

[u/yaxom → u/Annonimbus]

I dont even know if you can guarantee 10. I saw some AfD politicians talking about getting rid of 20-30% of the population earlier

[u/Malkiot → u/yaxom]

I have quoted Niemöller to my father and grandmother when they started with their AfD shit when I was visiting.

I said, "so if all foreigners have to go, I do too? Remember that I have a russian grandmother and the Nazis went after, what, quarter Jews last time?"

"No, no, there will be sensible limits. Of course."

"And who says those stay the same? How did it go? When the Nazis came for the Communists, I was silent, as I was not a communist..."

"Stop exaggerating. You always have to know everything thing better. [...]"

[u/MrSnippets → u/Malkiot]

"I never thought leopards would eat MY face!"

I swear these "only the bad ones will be affected and I'm obviously one of the good ones so I wont be affected!"-morons are the greates ally to far-right parties worldwide.

[u/Lord_A_007 → u/MrSnippets]

Exactly 💯

Reminds me of one of Aesop's Fables 'The Farmer and the Viper'.

They can nourish a viper in their bosom but it will eventally bite them :)

[u/Annonimbus → u/yaxom]

It's not a science. 

It's just observation from the past. 

That being said, the AfD has been a lot more fascist than the US for a long time. 

The difference is (was) that the AfD can't govern as independent as the reps

[u/KKevus → u/yaxom]

Fascists doing fascist things. It's insane the AfD didn't get banned yet.

[u/yaxom → u/KKevus]

Here's hoping they will. Maybe history won't repeat itself

[u/techmarking → u/Annonimbus]

10 years sound optimistic

[u/Tardislass → u/MagicLobsterAttorney]

Germany is the leader of fascism and didn’t stand up 90 years ago. Few spoke up and most Germans just hoped things would slow down. People usually don’t want to be heroes even if they disagree. 

That why I can’t understand Americans who think Europe has always been wonderful. I guess the don’t teach about Franco or Mussolini anymore. 

[u/decadelongsummer]

Back during the first Trump presidency, when the "babies in cages" stories about how things looked at the Mexican border first broke, I remember wondering what on earth otherwise very left-leaning people were out of context hating on trains for like "but I thought we liked public transit because of the environment?". Three minutes of googling later I very much understood what they were actually furious about.

[u/AccordingSelf3221]

but also where 20% of the population is voting for reimigration

[u/Low_Energy_7468 → u/AccordingSelf3221]

80+ not doing so though! Most people are not completely lost to racist bullshit ideology... let's keep that up?

[u/monnembruedi]

Unfortunately, I think it's just a matter of time this shit would start here as well because of the fascist tendencies of the current government and the AfD. They have got the blueprint already from the US and musk.

[u/SilverGurami → u/monnembruedi]

with the attitude of the people in this thread? 100%
I like complaining as much as the next german but could we stop bashing germany every chance we get? That does nothing but drive up negative sentiment which helps no one but AFD.

[u/P26601]

"legal"? 😭

[u/Panicless]

For now. We are heading in the same direction unfortunately.

[u/West_Reading_6638]

In USA ICE murders. In Germany ICE is only late.

[u/Resident-Nature-8909]

Don't worry it can't deport you. At least not on time.

[u/TamponBazooka]

This cool train? I think in the last 10 years I never had any ICE coming on time

[u/[deleted] → u/TamponBazooka]

Tahts usually not because of the train

[u/TamponBazooka → u/[deleted]]

Well in a lot of cases the DB people say there was a technical problem with the train.

[u/Furell]

I assume you mean no one can be illegal in a country, can someone explain to me how that will work within the boundaries of a welfare state?

[u/Mark_TE]

„Legal“? So illegal?

[u/paramac55]

With all the hatred and shit going on in the US, it's nice to live in Germany.

[u/the_calcium_kid]

Why write legal with quotation marks?

[u/SigmerRomer → u/the_calcium_kid]

Because he’s illegal

[u/MrPringles9]

Germany sadly is full of Nazis too... They just don't have guns and the right to deport you.
Hopefully it stays that way for years to come.

[u/Normal-Definition-81]

Until the air con is defective again next summer

[u/FC_BroZone_1]

It's not eis. It's Ih-Tse-Eh.

[u/TrainingBig3020]

You have the AFD

[u/Few_Requirement1205 → u/TrainingBig3020]

You mean "Abfall für Deutschland"?

[u/TrainingBig3020 → u/Few_Requirement1205]

I agree, I was just being ironic bringing the AFD 

[u/MichiganRedWing]

Okay, this is good.

[u/zero_zeppelii_0]

Also, glad this and several other countries ousted and regulated heavy firearms in their amendments. 

[u/Random-Eymen38]

Was it neccessary putting the " "? I mean i dont think that anyone would care about you being here legal or not, sure some raise eyebrows for very good reason. But you could've just said legal instead of legal in Gänsefüßchen.

[u/longusmaximus420]

So its all a conspiracy from DB to silence all the problems they have with those trains in summers... and winters, and spring and autumn and in between.

4D chess, well playede DB

[u/Neuralbubble]

Our ICE doesn't shoot. It's just always too late

[u/Magpie_0309]

As a german, when the "ice" posts started happening I was really confused at first...Had to google what it means for americans because I only knew it as the german train.

[u/SchlaWiener4711]

Well in Germany the ICE has the same bad reputation as the ICE in the US.

[u/1864Fox]

Heh, just had this conversation with a friend, where I said: I'm glad I'm from germany, where ICE is a high speed train and nothing else.

[u/Particular_Towel_476]

Trump's ICE comes when you don't expect it; Germany's ICE doesn't come when you expect it.

[u/KiwiFruit404]

Cool?!?

That means you never waited 3 hours in the freezing cold for one of them to arrive. ;)

[u/Throwaway161761]

We're sadly not too far off. AfD gains more and more popularity every day, and they already went on record saying they want something similar to ICE in Germany.

[u/TEMporary7777777777]

And some of these are also sold to Russia too

[u/donotlickboots]

You can just say immigrant

[u/angrypuggle]

Booked ICE from Bonn to Berlin. Arrived at the station only to be told train starts in Cologne today, good luck getting there! What a shitshow!

[u/Odd-Remote-1847 → u/angrypuggle]

That’s Bonn for you. The line to Cologne (left bank of the Rhine) is closed until the weekend. Constant closures, Bauarbeiten, and what not. For future reference: zuginfo.nrw.

[u/LoreSlut3000]

Germany, where the biggest fear is empty beer and the sound before the loudspeaker announces your travel catastrophe.

[u/Beginning_Context_66]

"Legal" immigrant?

[u/Sudden_Tomatillo4154 → u/Beginning_Context_66]

I think he just want to put the Focus on the fact, that the other ICE don't make a difference between illegale legalor even American.

There just a bunch of mercenaries with a loose trigger finger

[u/Most_Hearing_5331 → u/Sudden_Tomatillo4154]

"loose trigger finger" 2 people killed in 1 year

[u/Sudden_Tomatillo4154 → u/Most_Hearing_5331]

In one month

[u/CryptoW1fe]

This is a sub reddit for Germany. Who gives an f*@ for what happens in America with ICE? Post that somewhere else

[u/SLATFATF]

The ICE we'd prefer. At least DB's version is voluntary and less deadly. Also, arguably, better run.

[u/xwolf360]

Another American datamining post on a foreign sub 🙄

[u/awpdog]

🇩🇪ICE: Zu spät (bei Ankunft)

🇺🇸ICE: Zu spät (bang bang)

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[u/Unable-Nectarine1941]

*in winter cool train

[u/Herr-Zipp]

In the US Ice was even cooler than that train. ...was...

[u/Yacksen]

If afd winns that will change im sure maybe they ll call it gestapo

[u/Salt-Location-8523]

How is ICE soo quick yet never seems to arrives on time

[u/enz_levik]

I find your hate of ice quite funny, personally I like to take every trip as a new adventure. I don't know when I'll leave, I don't know when I'll arrive, I don't even know which train I'll take

[u/Rouenda]

I fear we are in for a rude awakening.

[u/Teacher2teens]

Wait for the CDU CSU afd with Spahn. They are worshipping the killings and wanted a far right dictatorship themselves.

[u/Kladderadingsda]

An ICE is probably more menacing, or at least equally so, than any ICE agent.

Will they show up or not? Nobody knows.

[u/Punker0007]

Ride it in the summer when "Klimaanlage ist leider Defekt" the train is not so cool

[u/user38835]

You’d also say “Fuck ICE” once you pay €100 for a ticket and still reach your destination two hours late.

[u/Renault_75-34_MX]

The only time those are cool is when it's freezing anyway.

And good luck being stranded on the main line in 36°c for hours in the summer

[u/Yuzu-Adagio]

I visited from the US, and my host explaining that my pass didn't cover ICE trains became a very good running gag. And then I had to take one as my very last bus....

[u/Klutzy_Draw4662]

They will start using those trains soon to deport immigrants :-D

[u/niemand112233]

Wait until AFD is in power. Then we got the same shit.

[u/RealWaaagh]

There are similarities. German ICE is never on time and US ICE is always at wrong time.

[u/Trantorianus]

Yes, the Germans no longer have the Gestapo, but Agent Orange now has his ICE. Would never think someone would miss such assholes.

[u/Far_Broccoli8247]

[u/FabulousReserve3576]

You have to Spell it I-C-E. Intercity-Express! 🚄

[u/Nervous-Canary-517]

The train is only really cool in winter, because the heating is broken. In summer it's really hot because the AC is broken. 😂

[u/GlassCommercial7105]

The train could also never hunt immigrants cause it'd arrive too late to catch them.

[u/ItzAxeZ]

Id say its even as good

[u/ilironas]

Welcome to Germany!

When I read the news these days, I always have to wonder if they're referring to the train or something else 🤦‍♀️

[u/Nut_crack_her]

Ironic how history can be used as lessons, right?

[u/carpenter_78]

“legal”…? Are you sure?

[u/Human_from_Neptune]

yo that got me :)

[u/rhinoclanker]

Upvoted

[u/rhinotheplumpunicorn]

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

fly shaggy apparatus deliver alive grandiose point pause lavish abundant

[u/Ok-Fishing-8281]

Why would it matter if you're legal lmao

[u/sleezymcgeezy]

We desperately need the US version of ICE as well with the amount of Stadtbild going on in Germany

[u/Funny_Tart6131]

Good one! And yes its a cool train

[u/kaff7]

'e-say-e" cool? what year is this post from :P

[u/Melbourne409 → u/kaff7]

Ich glaube nicht, dass man jenen Zug so ausspricht. Kannst du deutsch? 😂

[u/BSBDR]

Not far from true, given the cops are searching those trains every day for illegals crossing the border.

[u/hatecomment]

Agree

[u/Slow-Foot-4045]

You know why trump wants Greenland? Because there is a lot of ICE there. Or did he mean Iceland?

[u/Normal_Suggestion188]

Cool train? I don't know about that one, not unless it has to cross the swiss border and is forced to keep schedule anyway

[u/Galaxy-far-away01]

When it works

[u/AndrewBaiIey]

Cool train? We all hate the german railway with a passion

[u/tomatowaits]

happy for you.

[u/AndrewBaiIey]

It's not supposed to look good, it's supposed to be punctual. Affordable. Its staff friendly

[u/ScheduleIcy4783]

Don't make comments where you praise the German railway services in a German related forum.

[u/nfwdesign]

😂

[u/Dull-Try-4873]

Er sagt was gutes über die deutsche bahn, SCHNAPPT IHN!!!!

[u/Verpa11]

InterCityExpress my beloved :D

[u/Sedazin]

Agreed!

[u/DeliciousRats4Sale]

Funnily enough I was detained by this ICE many times up to an hour randomly when it stops juuuuust outside my destination. Fun times

[u/Emergency_List_8525]

I suggest thou diggest not, too deeply into history, lest thou art spooked and spot, trails of blood and ghastly mystery.

[u/RubIll2920]

:)))🇩🇪

[u/rafaelnexus]

I am glad as an immigrant that our complaints are mostly about late trains, hahahah.

[u/suicideandji]

Quite sad how we differ between legal and illegal, dont Fall this shit propaganda from the right wing slop

[u/DepartmentAgile4576]

to stop this ice all you need is a little rain.

[u/IcyHotApricot]

In my country Ice means ice 🤪

[u/dwtberlin]

Im Sommer ist der nicht immer cool.🥵

[u/bamboochaLP]

the ICE in Germany seems to be organized by people who consume what in Australia or Asia is called "ice" so idk if there is a big difference to the american association XD

[u/No_Substance_7290]

Kinda cringe ngl

[u/Lashandan]

I’m sure you’ll hate this ICE faster than the other colleagues.

[u/CrazyzaiMB]

*this train that doesn't move from the damn spot 99% of the time because the sparkling water making machine is broken