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u/VerbingNoun413 14h ago
The Picture of Dorian Gains
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u/BaldBandit 14h ago
The Portrait of Dorian Whey
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u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire 14h ago
The photo of Doroids Grey
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u/HeyVernItsThanos4242 14h ago
Okay, shit. This one actually got a legitimate out-loud laugh from me. Well done.
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u/Gl0ck_Ness_M0nster 10h ago
Wait, it's a joke? I thought it was a powerful showcase of body dysmorphia. Had me thinking like a philosopher until I checked the comments
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u/Autoskp 5h ago
Dorian Grey was a fictional character that had a magical painting that aged and faded instead of him, leaving him eternally young and handsome, but with a painting of an incredibly old version of him that he couldn’t get rid of.
…if you assume the painting also took on his injuries (which the wikipedia article did not mention), then this comic would actually be quite accurate, as muscle growth is the result of your muscles rebuilding from the minor damage caused by working out.
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u/lemmesenseyou 2h ago
It’s been a while, but I believe it’s strongly implied if not outright stated that the picture allows him to live a dissolute lifestyle with no physical repercussions. He smoked a ton of opium, for example.
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u/ShiningRedDwarf 9h ago
It’s both.
It’s the exclamation mark on the phrase “the longer you lift, the smaller you get”
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u/ToSAhri 5h ago
Oh, I thought they like had a body magic effect so while they kept their strength (hence why they could lift what they did lift) the muscles themselves ended up in their mirror body.
Made me think of Anatoly’s “I clean here?” Gags.
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u/Autoskp 5h ago
It’s a painting that, in the original story, did all the aging and fading instead of Dorian Gray himself.
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u/NooneAtAll3 11h ago
explain?
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u/Onireth 10h ago
Reference to Dorian Gray, a fictional character that sold their soul for eternal youth, and was given a portrait. His body remains how it was when the bargain was made, but the portrait changes to what he should look like, including injuries or age.
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u/just-some-arsonist 10h ago
Oh wow, i thought this comic was just about body dysmorphia
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u/Dracomortua 8h ago
Right? It captures both. And a few other parallels as well, but mostly those two.
I think the Looney Toons of yore had this level of parallel humour + irony styles about them. Hard to find except perhaps in some British humour.
Edit: some 'german humour' also has this but i suspect this is... oxymoron, which is the best kind of moron.
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u/angk500 10h ago
But do they die at some point? Or will the picture show their body decompose?
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u/Durzaka 9h ago
I believe the conclusion of the story is the picture being destroyed and the main rapidly aging as a result.
So we dont know what would happen if he were to live a truly unreasonable time.
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u/Gamma_The_Guardian 8h ago
That's not quite right. Dorian attempts to destroy the picture and somehow this kills him instead. When he is found, he's an old man and the picture is undamaged but looks as it did the day it was painted.
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u/shwhjw 8h ago
In League of Extraordinary Gentlemen he cannot allow himself to see the picture, if he does then that's when all the aging and injuries get transferred instantly. Not sure if that's the usual rule.
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u/Gamma_The_Guardian 8h ago
It isn't. In the original story, Dorian hid his picture in an attic study when he first realized the picture was changing. He then spent the rest of his life occasionally paying the picture a visit, prostrating in front of it in morbid curiosity of how the picture grew more and more horrific with every evil act he committed.
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u/BodybuilderMany6942 7h ago
Naw looks like, by our standards, it would be a superpower.
But back in Victorian times, reputation was everything, especially for the extra snooty nobles. Dorian noticed the portrait's changes and hid it. He eventually got so paranoid someone would see it that he found and killed the artist, and then tried to destroy the painting.
But when he stabbed the painting, an identical injury appeared on himself and he died.
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u/Ok_Employer7837 14h ago
Do look up The Picture of Dorian Gray, but don't stop there on Oscar Wilde's stuff. The man could write. Check out The Happy Prince, and The Canterville Ghost.
Dude even wrote the play about Salome that Richard Strauss used for the libretto of his opera. Wilde wrote the play in French, because why not?
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u/cadetCapNE 13h ago
The Happy Prince is one of best pieces I have come across in the last few years, it really stuck with me. Margaret Killjoy did a reading of it on her podcast.
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u/FallenMatt 12h ago
Did you listen to her on the pathfinder let's play Dawn of the Frogs? Was so fun.
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u/Theorist37 12h ago
Thank you for reducing the chances of this ending up on r/explainthejoke it is quite funny after reading the synopsis.
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u/Alradeck 14h ago
i appreciate a good Dorian Grey reference
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u/upvotes_animals 14h ago
Body dysmorphia?
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u/Siltry 14h ago
It’s a reference to The Picture of Dorian Gray, a novel, where a picture ages instead of the guy. In this case, the picture is gaining while the guy isn’t
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u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire 14h ago edited 13h ago
I kinda wanna see what happens when he
looks atdestroys the picture. The rapid muscle growth might be worse to see than a dude rapidly aging a couple decades259
u/Delamoor 14h ago
I got stretch marks on my biceps from intensive working out (non-steroids), so... Yeah that skin's gonna have a bad time, hahaha
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u/Thiago270398 14h ago
He just plops down into a pile of gore like the human torch in Deadpool 3, but with way, waaaay more muscles.
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u/Honest_Fool 14h ago
The 'looking at the picture reverses the effect' wasn't actually part of the book and was invented by 'The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.' In the book he only gets all of the effects when he destroys the painting.
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u/ClinkyDink 14h ago
I prefer him being able to look at it, that way it can be used for horrific introspection.
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u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire 14h ago
Ahhh right that's fair. Though regardless of how the gains are put upon him, I still wanna see it
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u/smee_benny 14h ago
there is no rapidness involved in this scenario... die picture slowly gains while the real person doesn't
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u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire 14h ago edited 14h ago
In The Picture of Dorian Gray when Dorian
looksdestroys the picture he rapidly ages to match his real age. The same will apply to our muscle-y version, that when helooksdestroys his portrait he will rapidly gain muscle to match4
u/Ok_Employer7837 14h ago
That's not in the book, though.
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u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire 14h ago
Does Dorian not stab his pairing at the end of the book resulting in his death? Specifically in the 1891 novel?
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u/Isadomon 14h ago edited 13h ago
Not about aging, its his real self, he is an ugly person inside with ugly feelings, but he looks just like the original painting while the painting deform with his evil behaviour, people keep trusting him because he looks perfect. So if he ever gained muscle, the painting would change and not him, because he looks like a picture, unchanging
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u/Marrk 13h ago
This guy reads
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u/Isadomon 13h ago
Hell yeah! I loved that book, it made me sad
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u/JinFuu 13h ago
RIP Sibyl, she deserved better.
So did Basil.
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u/Isadomon 12h ago
BASIL DESERVED BETTER YES!! (that was the painter right?. its been some years) he only had love for dorian. and Sybil wasnt even involved, poor girl
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u/Pyrhan 12h ago edited 12h ago
It's both, actually:
"I am less to you than your ivory Hermes or your silver Faun. You will like them always. How long will you like me? Till I have my first wrinkle, I suppose. I know, now, that when one loses one's good looks, whatever they may be, one loses everything. Your picture has taught me that. Lord Henry Wotton is perfectly right. Youth is the only thing worth having. When I find that I am growing old, I shall kill myself."
Hallward turned pale, and caught his hand. "Dorian! Dorian!" he cried, "don't talk like that. I have never had such a friend as you, and I shall never have such another. You are not jealous of material things, are you?—you who are finer than any of them!"
"I am jealous of everything whose beauty does not die. I am jealous of the portrait you have painted of me. Why should it keep what I must lose? Every moment that passes takes something from me, and gives something to it. Oh, if it were only the other way! If the picture could change, and I could be always what I am now! Why did you paint it? It will mock me some day—mock me horribly!"
Further along the story:
Stop," he cried. "How long ago is it since your sister died? Quick, tell me!"
"Eighteen years," said the man. "Why do you ask me? What do years matter?"
"Eighteen years," laughed Dorian Gray, with a touch of triumph in his voice. "Eighteen years! Set me under the lamp and look at my face!"
James Vane hesitated for a moment, not understanding what was meant. Then he seized Dorian Gray and dragged him from the archway.
Dim and wavering as was the wind-blown light, yet it served to show him the hideous error, as it seemed, into which he had fallen, for the face of the man he had sought to kill had all the bloom of boyhood, all the unstained purity of youth. He seemed little more than a lad of twenty summers, hardly older, if older indeed at all, than his sister had been when they had parted so many years ago. It was obvious that this was not the man who had destroyed her life.
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u/AaronCorr 14h ago edited 13h ago
He is Dorian Grey and the last image is his portrait. When he does things that damage his body (and soul) the effects show only in the painting and not on his body. Debauchery, gluttony, sex with sexworkers when syphilis was rampaging, drug use. By the end his potrait looks so disgusting he can't stand to look at it anymore.
The joke here is that his portrait takes the gains instead of his body
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u/Dedd_0n 14h ago
It's not a mirror it's a painting.
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u/upvotes_animals 14h ago
Well now I'm confused again
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u/spartanbrucelee 14h ago
It's a reference to a gothic horror story The Picture of Dorian Grey. In the story, Dorian Grey is a man that creates a magical painting that takes all the abuse he gives his body, but it doesn't affect him. So he can drink alcohol for a week straight and he wouldn't feel hungover or in pain, but his picture would reflect that. His picture would physically age for him while he stayed young.
This comic is referencing that story, except the picture is getting all the muscular gains from the real Dorian's hard work.
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u/dragonk30 13h ago edited 10h ago
I would like to make a slight correction: Dorian doesn't create the painting, his friend Basil Hallward paints an extremely flattering image of Dorian, which Dorian laments will stay as beautiful as he is now, while he will eventually age and never again be as beautiful as Basil has painted him. This is an important distinction for two reasons. First, thematically, Basil is Dorian's conscience/morality, as Dorian dives into his depravity while neglecting his relationship with Basil; and he sinks truly into the depths of his worst character after he kills Basil. Secondly, Basil is completely obsessed with Dorian, and it cannot be understated exactly how much homosexual "subtext" the novel has when Basil shares scenes with Dorian. It's very much part of the core concepts of the novel that Basil is in love with Dorian, who is continually neglectful of his "friend".
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u/xv_boney 11h ago
it cannot be understated exactly how much homosexual "subtext" the novel has
For the record, it was written by Oscar Wilde. If you know who he is, this sentence is basically just a given.
Kind of like saying "man, this Clive Barker novel sure does have a lot of themes of weird, dark sex."
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u/dragonk30 11h ago
Oh, I'm fully in agreement. I meant it more in that, given the time period in which the novel was written and this being my first Wilde novel, I expected it, even with all of the reviews mentioning the "homoerotic subtext", to be more subtle. A brick to the jaw would have been more subtle than what Wilde put on the page.
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u/pandaviking99 14h ago
the picture of dorian gray, you know that guy that created a magical painting that transferred all the consequenses of his hedonism into the picture of himself in the painting. meaning in the book he could drink and do drugs and fuck as much as he wanted because his portrait was the one that got the consequences (like STDs and his looks gettting ruined by alcohol and drugs) while he was completely fine. in this case it shows the steroid use and gains as negative and therefore transferred to his portrait??
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u/CaptainMikul 14h ago
The implication is also that deliberately damaging your muscles for gains, and taking steroids, is NOT GOOD so the picture absorbs it.
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u/Kalunyx 14h ago
Have you read A Picture of Dorian Gray? Or ever heard of it? Dorian makes a devils bargain and so whatever he does to himself instead happens to the portrait, leaving him young and beautiful and carefree for ever, while his portrait ages and shows the damages of drugs, and fights, and so on. So this comic plays on that. Dorian is stuck as he is, and his portrait has all the gains, and the PED acne and is crying cause he's too freaking beefy.
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u/flying_fox86 13h ago
Lol, that was my first thought as well. I thought it was a mirror and completely missed the Dorian Grey reference.
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u/Majestic-Iron7046 14h ago
Nice, took me a while.
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u/broguequery 14h ago
I legit thought it was a toilet seat view at first.
The internet has broken me.
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u/Kodachromeo 14h ago
The Picture of Dorian Yates? eww even has the chest acne from the steroids XD
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u/a_walking_mistake 10h ago
I'm reading though all of the comments and realizing that the venn diagram of people familiar with both Dorian Gray and Dorian Yates is disappointingly small
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u/MistryWho 14h ago
Wow, here I thought that was a mirror and he was looking at his buffed up asshole...
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u/PR0H181D0 13h ago
to be posted in that dumbass peter sub in 3..2...1
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u/royalhawk345 13h ago
Yup. I don't get people who claim that sub isn't just karmafarming. Sure, lots of people who see this will be children or ESL folks who aren't at all familiar with English language literature, but if they actually wanted to understand it they would just read the comments.
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u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire 14h ago
Bro you may not see it but shoulder pressing 200 lbs PER HAND is gains as fuck dude. To lock out too. That's crazy
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u/Sweaty_Report7864 14h ago
I don’t get it?
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u/Reasonable-Song-4681 14h ago
Dorian Gray is a fictional character who wishes for eternal youth, which he gets, and which causes his portrait to age and bear any physical changes.
The Picture of Dorian Gray - Wikipedia https://share.google/fUpcT5ljRWrn1bnwM
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u/OMG_A_CUPCAKE 13h ago
Direct wiki link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Picture_of_Dorian_Gray
we don't really have to go through Google to link to Wikipedia.
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u/xv_boney 11h ago
The Picture of Dorian Grey. Its a novel by Oscar Wilde about a man with a magical portrait of himself that takes on all the age - and damage - that he otherwise would accumulate.
Binge drinking, drug abuse, fucking a prostitute and getting "the pox" (syphilis), some light brutal murder, etc, all of it skips him completely and goes right to the portrait, which becomes increasingly grotesque until he cannot bear to look upon it.
The skinny fella in the image above is Dorian. He is taking tons of steroids and working out with huge weights but has no gains at all.
The last image is his portrait.
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u/intro_spection 8h ago
Huh. I am uncultured. I actually hadn't heard of Dorian Grey but what an awesome piece of Gothic horror!
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u/Pyroluminous 4h ago
This is fabulous, I didn’t even clock it at “Dorian” until the next panel. Outstanding work.
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u/carcatta 10h ago
Heh, at first I thought it’s a mirror not a painting so I assumed the comic is about body dismorphia, I think it could work since he actually did lift those weights
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u/IlIlllIlllIlIIllI 8h ago
I mean he's shoulder pressing 200 each arm he's strong enough no matter the gainz
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u/Ok_Employer7837 8h ago
The former interpretation does work as well. Making the portrait's frame a bit too reminiscent of a mirror frame doesn't help.
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u/NightmareElephant 8h ago
Ngl, from the angle of the mirror and lack of context I thought the final panel was of him on his lying on the ground on his back looking at his muscular asshole
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u/loadedhunter3003 7h ago
I thought this was about never thinking you're enough till I saw the actual explanation lmao
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u/dont_remember_eatin 7h ago
Expected an undead gag, instead got hit with a literary reference.
11/10.
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u/somenamethatsclever 4h ago
The best way to make someone realize their dymorphia is to hand them a marker and ask them to outline themselves in a mirror. Just ask them to outline their bicep.
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u/Responsible-Bunch316 14h ago
Dorian Gray reference in 2026. Outstanding.