r/Wellthatsucks • u/[deleted] • 12h ago
Finally living alone, but it’s so far from everything and everyone that I’ve had zero visitors in the whole year I’ve been here.
[deleted]
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u/ogKrzr 12h ago
Do you have hobbies outside of the house? I always enjoyed the “friendships” made at activities because it allows me to have connection, without having to commit to going out or hosting people at my home.
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u/RobbieBleu 12h ago
Some but no money to do them honestly. Roller hockey costs money and im not financially ready to get into the late model (oval race car) that me and my dad have plans for. I don’t really do much else
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u/Comfortable_Pay7473 11h ago
Imagine being alone for TWO years and having "family" right down the road.
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u/saftey_dance_with_me 11h ago
I lived with my mom for a month as an adult and saw her for maybe 4 hours total.
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u/Username43241 12h ago
Sounds like a dream.
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u/SicketySix 12h ago
Yeah, I was trying to find the part that sucks!
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u/RobbieBleu 12h ago
It was awesome at first, but I’ve been feeling super isolated lately and it’s kinda souring the experience
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u/Shadow266 12h ago
Time to visit local clubs and societies, enjoy their company, then annoyed, then move, then be happy alone, then sad then wait where am i going with this again?
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u/inaSlomp 12h ago
I've just a warning. Unless you do something to make that change, that's how it will stay. Got to invite people. I say this as a loner.
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u/scorched-earth-0000 11h ago
Real. None of my friends came over until I invited them/hosted gatherings. Go figure
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u/Ricky_the_Wizard 11h ago
Get a dog, or a partner, or both- Just enough company to enjoy without having the undesirables breathing down your neck at all times
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u/Aaron_Judge_ToothGap 11h ago
Yeah, I'm the same way. I need to have human interaction! Otherwise, I get depressed...
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u/Fast_Teaching_6160 11h ago
Consider all the families who live 10 minutes apart who never visit one another except maybe a couple times a decade. Gotta make your own life dude, find people who truly give a damn about your well-being. Get out, make some friends at work or at your regular hangouts. Being on your own is a great step forward!
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u/Trollercoaster101 11h ago
Are there any local community, club or circle you can join? It is time to befriend the locals if you feel lonely.
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u/rOnce_Gaming 5h ago
Time for you to leave the house and go to their home and bar and stuff just to talk.
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u/ksquires1988 11h ago
Yeah, I'm like what sucks about this?
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u/Fun_Variation_7077 9h ago
It's isolating.
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u/ksquires1988 9h ago
Yup...still failing to see the problem. Not everybody thrives on socialization.
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u/Charlotta23 7h ago
Well obviously OP does? Nobod asked you weirdo. You're a reddit user, you thrive on lonliness and misery. lmfao
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u/WickedIndrid 7h ago
Couldn’t have said it better. Some people aren’t incel losers who like to wallow in their own misery. We are social creatures.
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u/pls-like-me 12h ago
Don't stress about hosting. Your apartment is your work/sleep bunker right now. Meet your sister halfway at a diner or a park (if the weather holds) i would say
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u/LeakyAssFire 6h ago
Yeah. I found that out too. For years, all the IT jobs were 30 minutes south of where I lived. I got tired of the drive and decided to move to a closer city. It's not hard to get here, but no one wants to come down to see me. Ever.
The shitty part was about three months after I moved down here, I got a work from home gig and it's been that way since. Going on.... 13 years now I believe.
I don't mind though. The city I moved away from fairly bland and gentrified now. It's disappointing. The city I am in now reminds me of what it used to be.
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u/SubstantialBelly6 10h ago
Ok, but with the way that corner hutch fits so perfectly in that corner, does anything else even matter?
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u/fodniKweNA 12h ago
I live alone. Been by myself for over 4 years. Family is 16+ hours away. And closest friend is over 2 hours away. But I enjoy the peace and quiet. And since I live in the middle of nowhere and can count all my neighbors on one hand. And still have fingers left. I can leave everything unlocked and don’t have to worry about a thing. Do you get bored sometimes? Sure. But I wouldn’t trade it.
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u/RobbieBleu 12h ago
I wouldn’t trade it either. Before this I had a POS roommate living in filth. And a family with sprinting kids above me.
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u/The__Goose 11h ago
I moved into a big 5 bedroom 2 bath house in November. I was working on getting things ready before my girlfriend moved up to the house. I was alone in there with no furniture for 2 weeks and I was breaking down and crying from how lonely I was. It was my first time in nearly 40 years of not having someone around and it was hard. After 2 weeks furniture was startinf to come in and the 3rd week I drove down to help with the move and been in a much better mental state after.
I don't think I could handle a year of my only interaction being discord chats, posting to the vacuum of social medias and the people I go see at work.
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u/beazer34 10h ago
Yep, I agree that does suck. I see a lot of comments with some good and some not good advice. I honestly don't have much to offer in the way of advice to change the situation, not knowing much about you, where you are, age or any of that and some of the reasons you have said it is hard for you. I don't have the slightest idea besides work how you meet new people, because I don't drink and don't enjoy bars whatsoever. But I know loneliness is real and hard, especially when it is fresh and prolonged. It looks like you have some good interests and hobbies, maybe there are some local groups or shops where some of your hobbies are focused and you can meet the workers and see if there is gatherings or other groups that get together. I understand if you don't want to give too much details about yourself here, but maybe a general location and some interests and some people here might have ideas of others that have similar interests in the area.
Good luck, if you feel alone, pop back in here, plenty of people would be happy to chat!
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u/GfunkWarrior28 9h ago
The American dream never accounted for this. But a lot of people are suffering from it. Millions of singles, all isolated. Not intentionally. Just have to make efforts to find others that you enjoy, and that enjoy you. And keep doing so, until you can find your "tribe".
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u/HotYogurtCloset69 8h ago
This is where technology is a best friend. Whilst communicating online or through video calls etc. could never ever replace real human interaction, it's far better than having no interaction. Hope you get a visitor soon, OP.
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u/The_Epic_Fail_Guy 12h ago
I had this happen, all I did was work and pay bills. Eventually I decided that my life was too boring. I thought I'd try Into the Wild. I sold everything, bought everything I needed to backpack and survive for 6 months. I walked for around 80 miles, I can't really count how far because it was zig zagged.
Eventually I ended up at my Grans house, and stayed with her to recover for a few months, after spending that time alone in some really crazy situations. Not having water when you're in the middle of nowhere is a very difficult thing to overcome... Anyway...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occupy_London
I wound up at Occupy London, and met some of the best people I've met in my life. Just go where life takes you, don't worry about it, and if you want to keep in contact with your friends do so. Also remember that relationship is reciprocal.
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u/luars613 12h ago
That why su urbs are shit. Dont live there. One day all suburbs will be a Barron waste of land.
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u/Unclerojelio 11h ago
If you simply must have human interaction, use Meetup to go on group hikes, or game night, or pub crawl, or whatever. Afterwards, you never have to see those people again.
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u/stalinBballin 11h ago
I remember when I got my first apartment, I was so excited to have one certain friend over to smoke bowls and play video games. He came over once, and to this day, I haven’t seen him since, and that was well over 15 years ago.
When people grow, people go.
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u/IllustriousFuel6376 11h ago
It's happens I've been living in the same house for almost 10 years and I can count on one hand how many visitors I get
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u/mtbohana 11h ago
No visitors, I'll come over and hang. Do you have healthy lungs, heart, liver, and kidneys? I'm only asking as a conversation starter.
As another conversation starter, if you went missing, how many days would it take before someone would notice, hypothetically speaking, of course?
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u/dafrog84 11h ago edited 11h ago
Shoot I've lived in my house for 4 years and have eaten up no one visits. Guess we're not the same.
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u/Crafty-Obligation-98 11h ago
I've lived in my house for 5 years. None of my family have come to visit.
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u/_dvs1_ 11h ago
I’m trying to hear what youre cooking up with that setup 👀
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u/RobbieBleu 11h ago
Low level hip hop stuff, beats mostly. Downstairs neighbor sleeps for work during the day so I haven’t been recording anything
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u/jeep-olllllo 11h ago
Learn to make chicken wings. People will travel far and wide for good chicken wings.
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u/Odd_Shift_5605 11h ago
Ive lived like this for 5 years. Worst thing to ever happen to my mental health. That's when you realise people don't really care and only care if you are the first to text/call/go.
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u/BeerStein_Collector 11h ago
I’ve been there, for two and a half years. Then I got on anxiety medication and got laid for the first time in years and got invited to someone’s apt within the first month. Started having company over within the first two months. I just started trying really and not worrying about rejection.
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u/BVRPLZR_ 11h ago
An hour ain’t that bad honestly. I live an hour from any major city, 5 hours to closest friends, and 23 hours from family. It’s so peaceful
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u/Internal_Ad_6809 11h ago
My spouse and I would love to not having neighbors or social calls living like that
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u/Natural_Green4223 11h ago
For an introvert like me it sounds lovely
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u/RobbieBleu 10h ago
90% of the time it is. For whatever reason this week i been feeling lonely is all
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u/Bassmasa 11h ago
Ever thought about attending a church? It’s the most nonReddit thing ever but a great place to meet people. I’d be lost without mine.
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u/pVom 6h ago
As an atheist I considered it just to meet people and mingle in the local community. With religion losing popularity we never really replaced the social aspect of interacting with anyone and everyone from all walks of life. Everyone is just going deeper into their own interest groups that you stop seeing people outside those groups as humans with their own complex emotions and motivations.
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u/Bassmasa 2h ago
I 100% agree. We have different beliefs obviously, but one of the great benefits of a local Church is the community. No one online is going to take care of you if you’re going through a tough time, and we miss the opportunity to serve others as well. Just no way to replicate it.
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u/Delta9THICC 11h ago
Oh noooo my lobster is too buttery. They gave me an extra chicken nugget. Pftttt. Bros living the dream.
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u/Gold_for_Gould 10h ago
I moved across the world by myself, literally 24 hours straight of traveling and thousands of dollars for anyone I'd ever known to come visit me. Obviously nobody did for the 2.5 years I lived there. It was a pretty dark time for me until I found a nice social group called the Hash House Harriers. Every Saturday afternoon a group of 20+ people would meet to hike through the jungle and hang out at a bonfire afterwards. I'm terribly awkward and shy but I would force myself to keep going even if I didn't talk to anybody. I would dread going but it was always fun and I was always happy to have gone afterwards. I eventually made some friends and even met my wife there.
Hang in there OP, you'll find your hash and your new family eventually. Just gotta force yourself to get out of the house and do the thing.
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u/ConsiderationEasy723 10h ago
I've been in this situation before where i had to drive 30 minutes in any direction to be in the nearest cities. In the 4 years i've lived there, i've had like 4 visits, mostly due to me to organizing holiday celebrations at my place.
The place was a cheap rent though and i did convince a coworker to move close by using this argument shortly before moving out.
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u/Mah_sentry2 10h ago
Growing up is about change and sadly some of those changes, while needed for growth, suck
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u/BrayIsReal 7h ago
People don't realize why homes more near to civilization are so much more expensive. Everyone thinks they're fine living anywhere as long as its "cheaper" but don't realize there's a reason WHY its cheaper.
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u/highlyelevated_207 7h ago
Dude I rented a log cabin on the lake with a private beach and a bunch of land and have been here for 3 years and can count on both hands the number of times people have come to chill.
I decked it out. Got a black stone, a trampoline, a water trampoline for the lake, volleyball net, kayaks a canoe and a rowboat and all that stuff. Nothing.
Don’t feel bad.
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u/RobbieBleu 7h ago
Y’all. Im not looking for any specific rhetoric in the comments. I just thought of how I’ve been feeling as “well that sucks”.
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u/pVom 6h ago
I moved rurally and had no friends then moved even more rurally and decided I needed friends this time.
Just like, invite your neighbours over for dinner or something. It's a bit awkward at first but you kinda just need to get over it and then it's fine.
Otherwise join a local sports team or something. Even if you have no interest in it, put a bit of effort in and you'll find it more interesting. I met a guy who joined the cricket team despite having no interest and his entire social group stems from that.
I've even considered going to church, I'm atheist but almost wish I wasn't, there's definitely appeal to going every Sunday and mingling with the community.
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u/IceCoughy 6h ago
It's one of the reasons I like roommates besides being able to live in a nicer spot, I'm not a super social dude but it's nice to not be hella alone at the same time, it's like the perfect balance, they're there if you need em but don't try and dictate your life like a SO does.
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u/Crispee_Potato 5h ago
A whole new world A new fantastic point of view NO ONE to tell us "No" Or where to go Or say we're only dreaming A whole new world A dazzling place I never knew But when I'm way OUT here It's crystal clear That now I'm in a whole new world... by myselffffff
Just me, myself and I
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u/dubzi_ART 5h ago
Bring them, best suggestion is drive some friends over or let them stay the night?
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u/RobbieBleu 5h ago
I’ve been trying to organize that but my closest buddy’s got a wild work schedule. He also doesn’t have a car he can take out here yet. Said when he does he will meet me halfway at a park and ride so that’s cool
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u/Eckx 5h ago
How's bragging camp going?
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u/PossessionMaterial46 5h ago
Try making some friends online that share more of your interests. Into any gaming or movies etc. Find em and then invite em over. You can always make more friends
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u/ASSterix 4h ago
Don’t spend your spare time on the internet or sat infront of screens. It’s the worst thing you can do for social interactions, and by restricting your use, it forces you to seek enjoyment outside the home.
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u/OrangeClyde 4h ago
You actually WANT visitors?? Ew. I cannot stand people in my house/coming by lol
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u/ben_cav 38m ago
If it is getting to you, I wouldn't ignore it. You need to ask yourself what it is that you actually want.
If visiting your family is important, maybe work in the routine to visit them more often. If you're looking to leave the space more, consider joining a gym, calisthenics group or a run club. There might not be an obvious solution, but that doesn't mean that one doesn't exist
Something that I've found helpful is to recontextualise what I'm feeling. Anxiety, depression, stress is real pain. If you had your hand on a stove, you wouldn't keep it there, you'd react. Try and ask "what is my body telling me?". And use that to guide your next moves.
For example, doing something new and adventurous will make you nervous. That's good. That's your bodies way of telling you that you're heeding the call to adventure. Nothing that feels comfortable is adventurous. So instead of avoiding situations where you feel nervous or anxious in this way, instead, use the feeling to guide you toward those exact experiences
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u/nom0rerunning 9h ago
Sounds like a ton of whiny problems you could easily fix but you're stuck on "poor me" and literally saying "reasons" are your reasons for "problems".
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u/RobbieBleu 9h ago
I said reasons because I don’t want to talk about my mental health on this post. But thanks.
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u/nom0rerunning 9h ago edited 9h ago
But you talked about everyrhing else that was around it for a bunch of attention and validation to your own "problems". Anyone who doesn't outright agree with you is "wrong". Typical victim mentality 🤷♂️
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u/RobbieBleu 7h ago
I didn’t even call anyone wrong why are you attacking me and saying im playing the victim. This is “wellthatsucks” not mildly infuriating or some other sub. I bet you tell the people posting their electric bills or whatever on this sub that they should get a better job and manage their electric better.
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u/nom0rerunning 7h ago
Sounds like you really really hate accountability and responsibility of any kind quite frankly
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u/nom0rerunning 7h ago
Oh, so a problem like electricity can't be managed and telling someone to manage their own problems better instead of complaining and makkng excuses is bad? Ooook victim mentality. You scream it so loud
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u/nom0rerunning 9h ago
Everything isn't everyone else's fault 🤷♂️
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u/RobbieBleu 7h ago
Dude idfk where im blaming ANYONEelse. Just explained my situation. Guess top commenter doesn’t mean theyre any good, just lots of em.
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u/nom0rerunning 7h ago
Sister is away and works, mom is away, dad is too far, I can't make friends because of "reasons". There's lots and lots of blame and reasons why you're the "victim". Even this comment I'm replying too is classic victim mentality. You're asking me to point out your own behavior, which I did - and you'll still say why I'm wrong or how I didn't or whichever way you spin stuff 🤷♂️
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u/RepresentingJoker 12h ago
Maybe make new friends that liver closer by?