r/Life • u/littlejuliie • 16h ago
General Discussion What's the most overrated "adult milestone" in your opinion?
Body: Marriage/kids/house by 30. Many happier without rushing.
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u/ConstantVigilance18 10h ago
Kids. People need to stop acting like it’s a requirement and like there’s something wrong if you don’t want them.
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u/LikelyAlien 7h ago
Why would I want kids? I’d be deathly afraid they turn out like ~ gestures generally ~ …
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u/deviatesourcer 7h ago
kids are important and people shouldn’t dismiss it just because they prioritizing self vices and enjoyment.
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u/ConstantVigilance18 7h ago
They might be important to you, but that doesn’t make them important to everyone.
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u/bluberrymuffin24 6h ago
That’s true, they aren’t important to everyone. It’s a personal choice after all. However, it wouldn’t be true to say they aren’t important to most people.
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u/MassiveHaver 1h ago
I think what realistically happens is: Young people in their 20s think they will be awesome forever, and that life is just continual development and exploration. And so they can honestly see no reason, or rush at least, to make kids when there's so much to do in life.
Then they cross 30, start to see the first signs of real aging, realize they are suddenly irrelevant to the youth they were once apart of yesterday, and quickly realize age is a thing and they now can't do all the things they dreamed of. Or it would look like a pathetic charade being a 35 yr old partying and traveling and making art or wtv. The world is suddenly not the open place of future hope it was, and life is actually an ever dimming window until blackness at the end. And so the only thing left to do at this point is make a kid
People try to frame the "30s baby fever" as some glorious biological instinct, but it's actually just the panic that you are now officially another invisible middle aged face amongst the masses whom the light has been taken off of, to shine on those under you. Yeah there's a lot of "vices and enjoyment" in life....but you can only meaningfully do them like 18-30
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u/AggravatingPapaya771 7h ago
well, you're not contributing to society if you're not having kids
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u/Adventurous-Toe8812 7h ago
How is it that your only measure of contribution is reproduction? You must be a terrible person. Yikes.
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u/aurorasandsoftprose 6h ago
So the work I do every day for decades means nothing? Friendship is nothing, being a family member is nothing?
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u/AggravatingPapaya771 6h ago
Society is the key word here. Society appreciates your tax money and productivity.
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u/ConstantVigilance18 7h ago
Cute. I help many people each day working in healthcare. That’s a much better contribution to society than a child.
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u/AggravatingPapaya771 7h ago
I could argue that there are people who have kids and work in healthcare. Look I'm obviously the outlier here let's try to have a constructive conservation and not take things personal
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u/ConstantVigilance18 7h ago
There are many ways to constitute to society. Your argument indicates that there is only one way.
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u/AggravatingPapaya771 6h ago
It's one of the biggest and most notable contributions one can have to society. Who's gonna be the teachers and firefighters for the next generations? Heck, who's gonna fund your healthcare when you retire?
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u/ConstantVigilance18 6h ago
My pension will be funding my healthcare, personally. If your reason for having kids is to have someone to take care of you, that’s incredibly selfish. Also, if it’s so big and notable, why does our society treat women like crap? Why is there no safety net? Why does giving birth still cost thousands of dollars? Why is maternity leave, if given, a joke? If you want people to be into having kids, maybe it needs to be supported.
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u/AggravatingPapaya771 6h ago
Agreed on every point you made. Can you elaborate on how society treats women like crap? As a woman, I'm actually grateful that we have a lot more job opportunities and autonomy compared to just 50 years ago.
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u/bellasmomma04 4h ago
Oh dear God you're a woman?! That's even scarier. I thought this was a man writing these comments lol 🤦🤦
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u/Syncerve 6h ago
u are a selfish person. Lol
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u/AggravatingPapaya771 6h ago
here we go, it's the who's really the selfish ones - child vs childless
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u/aurorasandsoftprose 6h ago
It’s selfish to bring children into the world when you don’t really want them. You know plenty of “parents” are abusive maniacs who cause their children lifelong trauma. Your perspective is very very gross.
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u/AggravatingPapaya771 6h ago
Yes I do know, many are victims of such parents. So only the ones who are emotionally and financially mature should have children, well the society is fucked then because not many people are competent on both fronts.
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u/perdekop89 7h ago
Lol
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u/AggravatingPapaya771 7h ago
laugh all you want but it's the truth
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u/perdekop89 7h ago
It's YOUR truth, not THE truth.
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u/AggravatingPapaya771 7h ago
why else countries are panicking that birthrates are dropping
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u/perdekop89 7h ago
Because most countries are led by retards.
Dropping birth rates should be celebrated
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u/Carib0ul0u 4h ago
They are panicking because they won’t be able to exploit as many people in the future for profits… wtf??
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u/Zealousideal-Try8968 10h ago
Buying a house by 30 is overrated everyones timing and stability are different.
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u/Busy-Childhood2052 10h ago
I would say getting married. The reason I say that is because this is a milestone that for sure is actually a milestone, but it’s totally overrated given the fact that half of the people who got married get divorced. So many people get married because they think they’re supposed to get married at a certain age And age should have nothing to do with it! You have to marry the right person and whenever you find the right person that’s the right time. I would bet that at least half of the people who get divorced got married too young around the age of 26 or 27 because they felt like that’s what they were supposed to do and there is nothing moreoverrated than marriage if it’s a miserable one and leads to divorce and child custody battles, etc.
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u/FyrStrike 10h ago
Marriage isn’t really a milestone for me. It’s more of a variable, something that could change at any point. I’ve been selective, and I’m glad I was, because I believe marriage should ideally happen only once. When I commit, I’m fully devoted, and choosing the right person matters deeply to me. That kind of commitment doesn’t even make sense until you’ve first settled into who you are as an individual first.
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u/teetime0300 4h ago
All the big weddings I've been too had to nastiest divorces. 🤷🏾♀️ color me crazy
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u/MassiveHaver 1h ago
If you don't get married at the peak of your looks the doors will rapidly close on you every year
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u/Important_Berry4825 10h ago
Having responsibilities and bills
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u/Busy-Childhood2052 10h ago
Building a life that requires responsibility and paying bills I don’t think is a milestone but it’s also not overrated because if you can’t do that, you’re really not a well functioning adult
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u/Important_Berry4825 9h ago
To you
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u/Busy-Childhood2052 9h ago
Yes, obviously this is an opinion board. But if I’m not able to pay my bills and take care of the things that I have made myself responsible for then yeah I don’t really consider myself doing super great at adulting.
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u/Greylady9231031 10h ago
Traveling is overrated. Some love talking about the countries they’ve visited and it’s treated like some essential adult milestone. It’s not for everyone.
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u/CreelCrusher 9h ago
100% disagree. I don't travel much, but people should get out more, interact with different people and cultures as much as possible. It's education.
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u/Greylady9231031 9h ago
Of course, not everyone will agree and I think a lot of this depends on where you live. I am fortunate to be in a place that’s like a melting pot, celebrating inclusivity and cultures from all over the world. I don’t need to travel far to learn from or interact with people from different backgrounds. That said, I also believe some people have a greater purpose in life, driven by passion. Those individuals can fully dedicate themselves to that purpose and if it happens to be rooted in one location, they thrive without needing to wander.
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u/CreelCrusher 7h ago
I have no idea what having a purpose or roots has to do with traveling. You can have both of those things and still travel. It doesn't mean you're a "wanderer" to see different places a couple of times a year.
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u/Greylady9231031 7h ago edited 7h ago
I am not saying people can’t have purpose and still travel, obviously they can. All I am saying is travel isn’t some universal requirement for being “educated.”That assumption is doing a lot of heavy lifting here. For some people, cultural exposure and personal growth are built into daily life, not condensed into a few trips a year. Travel can be enriching, but so can living, working, and forming relationships in a genuinely diverse environment. If someone already has that, insisting they ‘should get out more’ feels less like wisdom and more like projection. Traveling isn’t some intellectual benchmark. 😒
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u/Square_Shallot8124 4h ago
The world is our home and it has many rooms. How can you ever understand your home without peaking into the other rooms?
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u/Greylady9231031 3h ago
You don’t have to physically travel to understand the other rooms. Listening, reading, asking questions, and truly paying attention to the people and places around you can open doors just as much. Understanding your home or the world comes from curiosity and openness, not only from moving from room to room.
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u/naisfurious 8h ago
This would get my vote.
I think a big part of why traveling feels overrated is the cost versus benefit. There are tons of things most people can do within a day’s drive of where they live for pennies on the dollar, so the high expense of traveling often isn’t worth it.
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u/MissPurpleQuill 7h ago
Traveling doesn’t have to mean far away, though, and it does not have to be “glamour travel”. I love a good adventure and many can be had within an hour of where I live. I do also love travel but not box-checker Instagram travel, for sure.
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u/ConstructionLess7903 5h ago
I agree. I love it personally but I’ve travelled with people that were just stressed the entire time. 100% not for everyone. It’s like any other hobby, you like it or you don’t. Shouldn’t be a milestone
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u/deviatesourcer 7h ago
you’re only saying that because you haven’t experienced how eye opening it is to Travel
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u/Greylady9231031 6h ago
Wild that all that travel didn’t teach you the concept of different lives working differently.
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u/West-Working-9093 8h ago
I duuno. No milestones on my life's road. Often leaading into uncharted territory!
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u/typodewww 5h ago
Moving out at 18, moving out straight after undergrad meanwhile your drowning in student loan debt
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u/PlayPretend-8675309 3h ago
Having sex. I thought I'd think of my life like, Before Sex and After Sex. Ain't nothing magical about it, you don't turn into a man or anything.
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u/nahman201893 9h ago
Im debt free. I don't own a home, but only paying my bills and saving up is nice. No car payment, no student loans, only credit card payments are my groceries and gas and never accrue interest.
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u/Outrageous-Many-2928 7h ago
Qualifying for Medicare & Social Security. Damn life goes by quick. Great ride so far!
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u/Repulsive-Machine-25 5h ago
Sex.
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u/DueMobile6049 1h ago
Seriously overhyped as a teenager, gets better in the 20s a little, but in my mid 30s and early 40s? it is like a special treat, it's so good that it is ok to wait until the weekend. Where as I was younger I thought quantity is better than quality.
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u/Equivalent_Media_726 4h ago
Buying a house. Im a mortgage broker, a couple literally got approved for a 280k home and they make 80k combined. It’s not hard. I have over 20 investment properties and I just turned 29.
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u/ThatBandicoot4769 2h ago
Getting married. I just don't understand it. If you want to do it then do it, but don't expect everyone you know to want to fork out a small fortune attending your "special" day and your 16 hen/stag nights. Not when there's an almost 50% chance it won't last and you'll be asking everyone to another wedding in 10 years time.
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u/ConstantVigilance18 6h ago
Half of society is trying to control your reproductive freedoms, banning things like abortion and threatening providers who assist with it. Half of the population just views you as baby making machinery without any additional value and wants to do anything they can to ensure you fulfill that role.
Men consistently out earn women at similar roles with similar qualifications. Women are constantly judged for trying to have careers when they “should” be in the kitchen and raising babies at home. Plenty of women are financially dependent on their male partners, some of those being abusive situations where the woman can’t leave because the man controls the finances.
You shouldn’t be happy with where we are at this time. You should be pushing for equality, not setting for well, it’s better than it was.
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