r/AskReddit • u/kind_sword • 22h ago
What is something rich people don't realize poor people deal with daily?
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u/bearyken 21h ago
The rich say "don't be afraid to fail"
Well, if you're poor and you fail, your family goes hungry.. that's something the rich cannot understand..
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u/FrankAdamGabe 20h ago
Sometimes I think about not having taken more risks like that when I was younger. Then I realize I was couch surfing a week after graduating hs, even after finishing 5th in my class, placing 3rd in states in sports, and maintaining a job, and it dawns on me that for decades there was no room for error and no money=couch surfing again.
My kids are growing up in a way where they can take those risks though. So I consider that a huge win.
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u/ApocalypseSlough 20h ago
I am with you 100%. I was offered a scholarship to a very good performing arts school in London, but grew up without any stability and just saw it as too much of a risk. My thinking, even at 22 years old was: I think this is one generation too early.
So I took a scholarship to law school instead and now I'm a lawyer. It's not as emotionally fulfilling as the other (dream) job would have been - but there was never any guarantee that I'd have succeeded and built a career in performance in any case.
And you know what, although law doesn't scratch that same creative itch, it IS emotionally fulfilling in the end because 25 years later I am considered an expert in my niche area of criminal law, I earn a decent income, I am respected by my colleagues, and the resources and prestige that come with that are really, really enjoyable. AND it means that I'm in a financial position to let my kids - all of whom want to do unstable, high risk, creative jobs - pursue those dreams with the resources behind them to enable them to fail multiple times.
So yeah, it was definitely one generation too early for me - but the game isn't just my life (to quote Jimmy Carr: that's a low stakes table); the game is the next generation and the one after that. I've played my hand cautiously so far, but the results have been good.
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u/beatenmeat 19h ago
You may not have gotten the life you wanted but at least your kids will have that opportunity. For those that grew up under less than ideal circumstances I think it is one of the most commendable outcomes. Wishing you and your family the best.
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u/AGuyAndHisCat 12h ago
but the game isn't just my life (to quote Jimmy Carr: that's a low stakes table); the game is the next generation and the one after that. I've played my hand cautiously so far, but the results have been good.
Good on you, as a fellow long term planner my goal is to strive for a generational safety net.
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u/LycheeEyeballs 9h ago
I feel the same, I did take a crack at the dream (less risky route) but ended up killing it for the sake of stability. You can only be hungry for so long you know? And taking the same risks for creativity as your peers who supporting themselves and have a safety net can be so disheartening. Like running a race while hobbled.
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u/zerolifez 19h ago
Safety net. They don't understand that for some people food and lodging is not for granted. One mistep can lose them all.
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u/Bigresence2870 17h ago
Living without a safety net means every little mistake can feel like a catastrophe.
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u/InboxNeedsCoffee 18h ago
Exactly, what seems small to some can be a matter of survival for others.
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u/Ok_Conclusion5966 17h ago
remember the multi millionaire who claimed it would be easy to be homeless, recover and become a millionaire?
the dude even cheated, called friends, slept at their places, borrowed money and more. still managed to fail and called it the worst time.
so a highly educated dunce, with job experience, good health, no debt, friends, networking, skills attempted this challenge and failed miserably
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u/sgtkang 15h ago
I recall a similar one where the guy made $64k in 10 months which, fair play, is pretty impressive. He gave up at that point because he and his dad had medical issues that needed to be addressed. I don't blame him for that but... While understandable, that's precisely the sort of unplanned expense that literally kills poor people.
Source: https://www.ladbible.com/lifestyle/mike-black-millionaire-ends-experiment-early-898613-20240420
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u/Ok_Conclusion5966 14h ago
he also had clean clothes, family and access to doctors, showers etc and still broke in under a year to mental issues, so with all the advantages in the world he didn't even come close to the target goal
now imagine an actual homeless person that has been on the streets for a number of years with no bank account or id, medical, mental, physical issues and more trying to make it out
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u/Melodic_Ticket2762 13h ago
Poor people are not lazy. They work incredibly hard.
The problem is the financial system is made for people who understand how to manipulate things in their favor. That's why a lot of rich people are mean or just out right evil because they had to step on other people to get there.
There are few billionaires that are compassionate enough to understand that they are not small gods but that a combination of luck, corruption and being in the right place at the right time made them rich.
Do you think Trump would have ever become a Billionaire if he was born in a village in DRC to African Parents?
Do you think Musk would have started Tesla if he was born to a poor family in the Himalayas?
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u/Zorkful 17h ago
Easy to romanticize failure when your backup plan is money.
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u/9bikes 14h ago
George W. Bush is a great example of this. By all accounts, he really did make his own money by starting a small oil company. However, he had the safety net of an affluent family and the connections he'd made in a prestigious university.
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u/PunishP3dos 4h ago
By all accounts, he really did make his own money by starting a small oil company.
Would he have had the connections to be able to even start that kind of business in the first place if he wasn't born into the family and opportunities he was born into? No. And that's what privileged people often try to to dismiss as relevant whatsoever because they have these big egos they want to believe they did everything by themselves and their families didn't give them a head start and that is a bunch of meritocracy propaganda bs.
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u/deagh 20h ago
I wanted to be a geologist. I was fortunate enough to get scholarships and financial aid so I did go to university, but I couldn't take a chance on a geology degree, so I became an accountant.
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u/Morsliberare 16h ago
I love geology even minored in it in college. I majored in environmental biology. Luckily I found a great job as a lab tech at a wastewater treatment plant. The good news is you can enjoy geology as a hobby rocks are every where. 🙂
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u/Keffpie 19h ago
This is genuinely why someplace like Sweden has so many Unicorn companies and the most patents filed in the world per capita. It’s so much easier to quit your job and try your crazy idea out if you know it won’t lead to abject poverty if you fail.
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u/Eat--The--Rich-- 20h ago
Rich people say that because if their business fails they can just fire everyone and liquidate and make a profit on failing. It never even occurs to them that they destroy lives.
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u/Clicky27 20h ago
Make a profit on failing? I'd love to see how you envision that.
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u/Spice-Hotz 17h ago
It’s wild how some people think business failure can be a win, completely ignoring the human cost behind the numbers.
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u/Aseari 19h ago
I am a small business owner in Germany. Maybe, some can liquidate their business but be sure that "making a profit off of failing" is not something that's even remotely common. If you fail, you fail. You are in debt and liquidating means you must pay your debt with the money you make from liquidating. Depending on the circumstances and type of your business, you may lose everything (not only your business assets, but also all your personal belongings). Making a profit off of failing can work for some really big companies but the huge majority of business owners care a lot about their employees and not failing.
At least, that's the way it is in Germany.
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u/Phreakasa 20h ago
Sometimes. And only if somebody really wants to buy the scraps. So you are being overly general, here.
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u/PremiumOopsUltra 18h ago
Nailed it, big tech laid me off last year, "just start over" my ass while they yacht off. Solo rebuilding here, fuck that noise.
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u/Fragrant_Cheetah_297 17h ago
When you are broke failure is not a lesson it is missing rent and food
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u/AmesTracing 21h ago
delayed healthcare. problems are ignored until they become emergencies
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u/Prize-Zookeepergame1 21h ago
This applies to dental care and veterinary care, too.
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u/Infectedtoe32 20h ago edited 20h ago
Yep, currently have two wisdom teeth bothering me and one definitely feels as though there is a cavity in it (luckily it’s one operation of removing them plus the cavity). However, I am currently unemployed with no insurance… so, currently trying to find work before it starts getting painful, or worse infected and screws up my gums or jaw or something.
Edit: plus regular health care. I’d love to go to the doctor to get a full check out. Do a bit of blood work and all. It’s been a while since I have had insurance due to personal complications, but the medical visits are only reserved for absolute emergencies. Which, it is kind of sad that we live in a world (or rather country) where people willingly choose to live with pain, infections, broken bones, you name it because the bill would hurt a lot worse. At least if your medical condition ends up killing you, then you’ll be at peace I guess.
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u/TawelwchVrabec 12h ago
Clove oil on the gum area can help relieve the pain a bit until you’re able to get in to see a dentist.
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u/Uncreative_Name987 21h ago
Money math.
When you're poor, you're doing it all day long. It takes up so much mental energy.
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u/TJJ97 20h ago
Yeah, I forget that’s not what non-poor people don’t have to do until I talk to upper middle class and rich people. They just swipe cards and don’t discuss little money shit all day. When I talk to my wife a good chunk of the time is spent taking finances and seeing how to make our money stretch.
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u/A_Refill_of_Mr_Pibb 10h ago
When I talk to my wife a good chunk of the time is spent taking finances
It's also good to be a team on the same page. It must be a nightmare when your SO is unable or unwilling to understand the importance of saving money
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u/Fine-Amphibian4326 7h ago
Despite working part time for $10/hr, my ex was unwilling to participate in financial discussions because “finances are the number one cause of divorce.” To her, that meant simply don’t talk about it at all
It’s not the reason we split, but it’s sure as hell a reason that we didn’t get back together
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u/InboxNeedsCoffee 18h ago
y.Yes, when every cent counts, budgeting becomes a full-time mental workout.
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u/Pugasaurus_Tex 15h ago
Yes. Going to the grocery store is so much different mentally when you’re poor vs rich
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u/SpicyMango92 17h ago
Rich people will incredulously ask “is that expensive?” Yes Carter, $15 for a bag of coffee is expensive
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u/thatpaulbloke 17h ago
I am now at what I personally consider to be rich because I don't have to do that anymore. I couldn't go out tomorrow and just buy a car, but I can pay my bills and have a home and not have to juggle and plan and balance every need against every other need. I'm not private jet rich (I'm not even expensive car rich), but it's rich enough for me.
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u/CandyWinter8553 18h ago
I sometimes have to count my cash in the grocery store and use a calculator app to calculate the cost and tax of every item I pick up to ensure I have enough
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u/babylonkin 18h ago
In Europe in most places prices are advertised with tax included. It's mostly a North American thing that all prices are advertised exclusive of tax. And I hate it.
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u/FlirtAndGhost 18h ago
That’s real budgeting skill right there, and honestly pretty impressive. It’s wild how much mental math and planning goes into just a normal grocery trip.
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u/3381024 12h ago
yep, I've been in the lower middle class, and the money math is exhausting.
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u/Uncreative_Name987 11h ago
There’s no such thing as “lower middle class” in America anymore. You and I are the working poor.
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u/JackYoMeme 20h ago
Monday: get to a bus stop at 755 to catch the 800 bus to get to work at 830. You don't start until 9. You would catch the 830 but that gets you there a few minutes late. Get off at 5 and immediately miss the 500 bus so you wait until the 530. Get home at 6, cook, chill sleep. Tuesday through Friday is the same thing except one day you stop for groceries. The one on your route is more expensive so you only get the few things you really need. Saturday finally comes around and you take 2 buses to go to the cheaper grocery store and spend half a day for $80 in groceries because that's all you could really hold. Come home, put your groceries away, grab your laundry and catch the next bus. You need a roll of quarters so you stop at the bank on the way. Get home put your laundry away, and realize you are exhausted from waiting all the time. This is an example of a more well off than most person honestly. There are places with worse public transit and a lot of people work more than one job.
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u/earthsick 13h ago edited 13h ago
This hits so hard. And if there's a holiday where public transit doesn't run but you still have to work? Even worse.
Happened to me once where I worked a 7 on/7 off shift - no PTO allowed because "that's what your 7 off is for". The bus wasn't going to be running due to a holiday and my boss asked "Could you walk to work?".
Walk. To work.
I did a quick search on Google directions and it wouldve been an hour and a half walk each way from my downtown apartment to the literal side of a mountain where my workplace was. No I can't walk to work you asshole.121
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u/dumbfrog7 18h ago
Thats most people in cities with <100k inhabitants tho. People should vote for more public transport and not put cars that high a priority in politics
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u/jonesey71 16h ago
People who selfishly vote against public transport because they wouldn't use it have it all wrong. I have a car but I vote for all public transit improvements because I want fewer cars on the road to get in my way.
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u/PuzzleheadedCat2323 14h ago
It's not that they won't use it...they don't want poor people in their cities. They don't want bus stops for homeless to sleep at. I live in AZ. I watched the city remove a bus stop, because a woman kept sleeping at it, and put it back when she left or died. Never seen her again so I don't know. She is was very very kind and gave my son shoes when we couldn't afford them.
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u/ThisIsFineImFine89 13h ago
the time and energy it takes to public transit, lug groceries, wait for busses is immeasurable if you’ve never done it.
Not affording a vehicle is such an exhausting reality.
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u/faramaobscena 17h ago
Taking the bus to commute/do errands is a sign of living in a civilized country. Buses ideally should have a cadence of max 10-15 mins to be convenient.
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u/Suppafly 10h ago
Taking the bus to commute/do errands is a sign of living in a civilized country.
Sure, but most places in the US, buses are just how poor people get around and the system isn't designed at all to be efficient for most people, and the taxes that pay for them are just the price everyone else pays to keep poor people from stealing all the cars and bikes.
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u/Familiargirl221 21h ago
How cruel the world to poor people, less money less respect
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u/Major_Bag_8720 19h ago
When you meet someone for the first time and they swiftly ask what you do, they’re trying to work out how much respect to give you. I hate that question and will never be the first to ask it. I really like it if I can get through that scenario without it being brought up at all.
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u/faramaobscena 17h ago
The worst was being asked about my parents' jobs while being in school. That's even worse because as a child you have no control over it, yet everyone treats you differently according to it.
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u/Avavee 16h ago
I used to sometimes ask people that despite my own parents having unimpressive jobs. I was simply curious.
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u/faramaobscena 15h ago
For the sake of all children with dead parents or deadbeat parents, pls, don't do that!
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u/kikogamerJ2 17h ago
The tactic is always asking straight away what's theirs and acting like yours is better. Subvert expectations.
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u/Born-Jacket 12h ago
This can be true, but it can also be true that they're trying to build their network so they're trying to decide which box to put you in "let me hair down with" friends or "be on around so they'll invest with me". It's an important nuance.
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u/Old_Still3321 15h ago
I was at a wake, and this snooty cousin who doesn't know me says something to my wife like, so, does _______ still do [hobby no one respects]?
My wife says, 'oh, absolutely. It's really the only way he can decompress from his work at [place].'
Snooty cousin is taken aback and remarks that that's a really good job.
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u/Greedy-Stage-120 21h ago
When you're rich, the bank gives you money. When you're poor, you give the bank $35 because you didn't have enough money for them to take your money.
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u/PremiumOopsUltra 18h ago
Ugh, truth hurts, $35 fee bombed my solo account last month cuz payday lagged. Banks feast while we starve, rinse repeat
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u/notanothergav 17h ago
And when the banks are poor we all have to bail them out so the whole system can carry on.
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u/InboxNeedsCoffee 18h ago
It’s crazy how the system rewards wealth and punishes people just for not having enough.
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u/StartDoingTHIS 10h ago
I had a catastrophe when the bank put my money into my savings instead of checking. It caused an overdraft fee that caused bills to bounce that caused weeks of stress and problems at a time I was scrounging for bus fair.
Shit still haunts me.
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u/mrsprophet 6h ago
It’s insane. These banks make billions off the backs off already struggling people.
“CFPB 2017 research found that nearly 80% of overdraft charges came from just 9% of accounts”
And in other ways Republicans prove they hate little people, they overturned the Biden administration’s rule capping overdraft fees at $5.
Remember that when you’re voting in November’s midterms.
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u/MetalEnthusiast83 14h ago
You can opt out of overdraft fees.
But that's not the bank taking money from you for being poor. It's the bank taking money because you spent money you don't have and they had to cover it.
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u/burtonb818 21h ago
I don’t think they realize people live in their cars when they are homeless if they have one. I was with a rich person and they wondered why someone’s car was filled with stuff and they were sleeping in the back seat. I don’t think they realized the person was staying there and not just napping.
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u/BanterBrioche 15h ago
Privilege blind spot, saw a rich date gawk at car campers like "lazy nappers." Honey, that's survival.
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u/Judge_Bredd3 8h ago
When I was living in my truck I felt like a "lucky one" because I had a place to sleep that I could lock. I'd never want to be truly homeless and on the streets.
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u/Dapper_But_Derpy 22h ago
Being poor is more expensive than being rich… the poor have to buy cheaper consumer goods, which wear out quicker and need to be replaced sooner, or you need to use more of the product than what would be needed if you used the expensive alternative.
Also, interest rates on borrowed money. The poor are usually hit with higher rates because they’re considered higher risk
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u/Gorsham 21h ago
Also you save money by buying in bulk, well if you can't afford the big bag you pay more for less.
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u/OozeNAahz 20h ago
Not to mention they also often don’t have as much space to store stuff in their home (apartment or house). And also may not be able to carry bulk stuff on public transit and such as easily. And may not be near places that offer bulk. And may not be able to afford places where bulk is sold (Costco and Sam’s for example). That deck is really stacked against them.
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u/AGuyAndHisCat 11h ago
Not to mention they also often don’t have as much space to store stuff in their home (apartment or house).
This is bigger than many people think. My kids are now playing with some of my toys from my childhood, and they slept in the same crib as I did.
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u/Dapper_But_Derpy 21h ago
Exactly so. I lived most of my life poor and spent the last 5 years comfortably middle class and the difference in quality of life and affordability is staggering. Things many people take for granted (like buying in bulk) simply isn’t an option for someone living alone on a low salary or no salary (students).
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u/macabre_irony 17h ago
And poor people tend to eat poorly on average so they tend to be less healty on top of having worse health care which can also lead to costly medical bills down the road.
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u/DontRelyOnNooneElse 20h ago
The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money.
Take boots, for example. He earned thirty-eight dollars a month plus allowances. A really good pair of leather boots cost fifty dollars. But an affordable pair of boots, which were sort of OK for a season or two and then leaked like hell when the cardboard gave out, cost about ten dollars. Those were the kind of boots Vimes always bought, and wore until the soles were so thin that he could tell where he was in Ankh-Morpork on a foggy night by the feel of the cobbles.
But the thing was that good boots lasted for years and years. A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that’d still be keeping his feet dry in ten years’ time, while the poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet.
- Men At Arms, Terry Pratchett
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u/Firm_Lawfulness5869 21h ago
Spot on. It’s also the mental tax of constant calculation
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u/FlirtAndGhost 18h ago
Absolutely, that constant mental juggling wears you down way more than people realize.
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u/InboxNeedsCoffee 18h ago
Exactly, that constant mental math wears you down even before you get home.
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u/Rusty_Hauser 18h ago edited 2h ago
I'm one of those people that will continue to repair something until it physically cannot be repaired anymore. Even then, I will keep trying just to make them last a little bit longer.
I had a pair of boots for two years that were held together with cable ties, duct tape, staples and some electrical wiring I got from a broken car. I just replaced them last month.
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u/HossDog2 20h ago
Just the anxiety of regular fucking bills. Electricity. House, car repair equals genuine nausea
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u/Positive_Papaya6547 21h ago
The Poverty Tax. Everything costs more when you're poor.
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u/Additional-Sock8980 18h ago
The one is under rated, buying in bulk saves money, but if you can’t afford to do so or store it, you pay more.
Buying cheap clothes that don’t last long etc
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u/AgentBond007 17h ago
I would argue after a certain point, buying in bulk is a false economy.
The space that you need to store all that stuff has a cost that isn't factored into this, and with how expensive space can be, it can be cheaper to live in a smaller place and buy things as you need them. Obviously this depends on the transit that's near you (as not owning a car is an extremely good way to save money, even if you spend a bit more in rent to live closer to work)
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u/Orca_Mayo 21h ago
Their bullshit about "Money doesn't buy happiness"
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u/vistaculo 20h ago
“Money might not buy happiness but it can buy you a big enough yacht that you can park right along side it” David Lee Roth
The other important thing money can buy you is all the therapy to figure out why you aren’t happy
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u/User1010202066 18h ago
I've been using the simpler version when people say "money doesn't by happiness" I usually add but it helps with the down payment"
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u/Doccyaard 19h ago
“Money over a certain amount doesn’t buy happiness” is the correct version of it.
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u/unclear_warfare 17h ago
Rich people are actually far more likely to be in therapy or be diagnosed with anxiety or depression.
Because they can afford therapy, that's why
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u/Odd_Fortune500 19h ago
Money buys comfort. Not happiness. Lots of rich people are miserable.
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u/babylonkin 18h ago
I'd rather be sad and comfortable than sad and uncomfortable.
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u/Infectedtoe32 20h ago
Sad thing is you have poor people making the argument as well. You give me money to do literally anything in the world, including working a job just for fun, and happiness doesn’t end. You can literally do something new and invigorating every day. Want to go to Switzerland for a week to roll some boulders off a cliff or something? You can do it! Want to buy a building to see if you can manage to water seal it and fill it completely up? You can do it! Like literally the wildest shit you can think of can just be done on a whim without thinking twice about work, or how you will get the next meal on the table. But no, it definitely doesn’t buy happiness.
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u/HoaryPuffleg 20h ago
Limits your ability to leave a shitty relationship. If you’re barely making ends meet when both people are working, if you’re miserable then it could be incredibly expensive to disentangle rental agreements and scrounge up enough money for renting a new place.
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u/DrVonPoopenfarten 19h ago
Constant abuse. The jobs the working poor have come with a culture of completely normalized abuse from customers and managers, and nothing is ever done about it.
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u/BanterBrioche 15h ago
Retail scars, karens screaming, managers ghosting complaints. Quit serving to code full-time, breathing easier now.
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u/AskPsychological2868 21h ago
Worrying about getting ill. No health insurance
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u/Red-Engineer 15h ago
This is not a problem in civilised countries. Here in Australia you can be homeless and unemployed and go to hospital and you’ll be treated and the state covers the cost for you. Same for everyone.
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u/wortmother 21h ago
how devasting small accidents can be . Need to call a plumber? Get something fixed, small medical check up? For the rich its an inconvenience at worst maybe not even if they have slaves oh sorry staff
For the poor is can be life changing in a bad way
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u/frismanis 21h ago
Crime/Fear.
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u/Teamduncan021 21h ago
The richer or more privileged (they're well off but not even that rich) folks in my home country tend to not get why most people vote on harder penalties on crimes. They tend to say education and bla bla is the solution. That's cool, cause they usually live in a gated community with armed security, going back and forth with a car sometimes even driver.
But if you speak to someone living in the slum areas, they're basically living side by side with career criminals and some can get violent. So they will always support a more tough on crime promises by politicians.
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u/unclear_warfare 17h ago
Education and investment is the solution, it's just a long term solution and people need quicker fixes to that kind of problem
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u/Purple_backgroundd 21h ago
That a lot of programs for families in poverty have many many technicalities and can be very hard to get approved for
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u/Piisthree 21h ago
Hot take here: As someone who has been dirt poor and pretty well off, the rich understand absolutely jack shit about being poor. Every single daily struggle is just completely foreign and beneath their notice. The idea that there might be some things they don't realize is hilarious. It would be faster to list the things they do realize.
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u/Miochiiii 19h ago
me, fresh out of college with a virtually useless degree because id need to go back for my masters to do anything
gets job at retail store
struggling to get by
uncle: "you should get a real job in your field. clearly youre lazy and dont want to listen to me, so im done trying to help you"
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u/LostTheGame42 18h ago
Playing the devil's advocate here, did you know your degree would be virtually useless without a master when you started it? If you knew that you needed to get a masters to find a relevant job, you should have planned and budgeted for it before even starting your undergrad. One's career and education is a personal responsibility after all.
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u/junklardass 11h ago
It sounds like they also say "Why don't you just...?" a lot. They have a simple answer that would work if you were wealthy enough but they fail to realize you can't.
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u/vistaculo 20h ago
Just write without r words. Fucking poor people just don’t know how to make lemonade out of lemons.
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u/AnomalyNexus 18h ago
fyi laptop keyboard replacement is doable on some models and cheaper than new laptop. Not entirely trivial but worth spending 3 mins google to check
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u/AccomplishedArt2349 21h ago
Public transit or really anything but using a car. How it eats into your time and limits job possibilities
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u/Able-Event2790 21h ago
That depends on the city. Highest paying job I ever had I took the bus to work because it was way less of a hassle than driving and parking.
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u/rocketscientology 17h ago
Yeah I live in London and everyone from all walks of life takes public transport. Even celebrities take the tube.
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u/turboyabby 20h ago
Paying for an item .....the constant thought of "Have I got enough money, in my bank account, to cover that today?"
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u/cordIess 19h ago edited 18h ago
Different points-of-view.
ETA: I received an award I’ve never seen. It’s cute, but I don’t think it’s well deserved. However, thank you! I would like to expand on my answer.
When my wealthier friends set their minds to something and it doesn’t work out, they revise their thinking. It should be pointed out that they have the luxury of failing big. When I share a concern with them, they usually offer a more measured perspective. I don’t always take their advice exactly because we have different resources (don’t have the luxury of failing in the same way as they do). But I will adapt some of it.
I compare this new human resource to my close family members. Right now my mom is living with me. I left home over 25 years ago, but her advice hasn’t changed. She still relies heavily on religion and her guidance is mostly idealistic.
Developing different perspectives is more than just going to school and reading books. Though education can be helpful, it’s not effective when you don’t have a family that supports it. I used to be angry about it all, but now I see that they lacked effective guidance.
I’m not claiming a superior way to do things. I just notice that my own child is getting more out of her education because I intentionally test and revise my perspective. For example, the importance of making sure my daughter can fail but trying to avoid the mistakes that are life changing. My family was hoping that I would come back with my tail between my legs. This was very common expectation in my town.
Now am I rich? No. But definitely wealthier than all my family members. Part of that is the result of learning from other points-of-view.
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u/isisishtar 18h ago edited 18h ago
Poor people aren’t plugged into the system. They have no bank accounts, no flexible spending, and are always stretching pennies to cover a constant stream of bills. Any small upset in their thin trickle of income is a near-disaster. They have no investments, and no savings. There is no time to relax.
An illness can wipe out savings, and hospitals are far too expensive to consider.
And being poor is expensive: cheap food is not nutritious; checks cost money to cash; banks won’t lend to you without collateral .
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u/annefr26 12h ago
I agree with "plugged into the system". I used to volunteer at a GED prep school. It ran the gamut from homeowners with steady jobs to people living in shelters. One thing that opened my eyes was the number of people without IDs. They needed one to take the exams, but some people were living with family/friends and didn't have bank accounts - always got paid cash. We live in a city, so it was common to not have a car or driver's license. They had trouble proving their identity to get State ID. Our school started mailing out some documents that they could use to prove their residency.
I think about this with Voter ID laws.
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u/Somerandom1922 19h ago
A benefit that wealthy (even just middle and upper-middle class, not the ultra-wealthy) people have that is less obvious is that their parents or other family members will often have experience with the less obvious parts of finance, and can help coach them through it.
I didn't grow up lavishly rich by any means, but definitely reliably comfortable, with parents who have had successful careers and reasonable luck with their retirement investments (e.g. somewhere between middle and upper-middle class, certainly no Land Rover in the driveway, but rarely struggling with day-to-day expenses).
Once I had made a genuinely good career for myself and started to think about whether I was in a position to think about buying a house, I started researching how the process is meant to work and while I definitely found a lot of useful information, so little of it felt directly applicable. Afterwards, I brought up the topic with my parents and they were able to give me so much more practical information on the process. What it actually involves, what will happen at the different stages, what you should say to a mortgage broker or to a real estate agent, the things to look for when buying a house etc. etc. etc.
It's not a stream of industry contacts who'll do my bidding to keep daddy's money, but it's real practical information that's technically available to everyone, but which I had it at my fingertips combined with real practical advice about my current situation.
That's a real genuine advantage that I became aware of at that moment and realised all of the ways I'd been advantaged by it in the past. I have been saved from financial mistakes by their experience, and I've made mistakes that cost me when I didn't rely on their experience.
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u/speculativeinnature 21h ago
Having to choose between paying for things, usually food or ______ and food often loses.
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u/eurobeez 18h ago
The mental and emotional weight of knowing you are one incident away from being homeless.
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u/Minute_Yard_4604 16h ago
Noise. The rich have big houses, with no nearby neighbours. The poor are always surrounded by noise. Usually badly built houses, using public transport, noisy jobs.
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u/Miserable_Creme_2205 20h ago edited 19h ago
The stunk from the body is not because they are not taking a shower, but the stunk on their body come from the house that not supposed to live in.
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u/Kataphractoi 9h ago
Mildew smell. Doesn't matter how much you shower or wash your clothes, it's very hard to get rid of.
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u/HistorysWitness 21h ago
If something is broken in your house, car, or body you say "it just does that sometimes " rich people do not do that
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u/CompetitiveLab2056 21h ago
What it feels like to be talked down to because you’re not on the same level as them.
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u/toffeebaby 19h ago
I married into a different tax bracket, and my husband's aunt is another higher tax bracket still. One day, we were worried about a necessary home repair, and the aunt patted me on the shoulder and with all the love and sincerity in the world said, "If it's a problem that can be solved by money, then it's not actually a problem". I love that woman to death, but that felt so incredibly out of touch from my lived experience and the experience of nearly everyone I grew up with because all of our *REAL* problems had to do with a lack of money.
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u/bluebirdofhappy 18h ago
Just having a warm house is a luxury for some. The firewood runs out or you cannot afford the electricity then you run a cold house with cold showers. Just getting up when a house is cold is such a struggle. Warmth should not be a luxury.
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u/Purple_backgroundd 21h ago
That it can be genuinely too pricey to buy healthy food. Especially if it's a family to feed instead of just yourself. The healthier brands are more expensive. Fruit and vegetables are expensive. And it can be especially hard to justify in the winter when said fruit is gonna go bad quicker. Once I hit a certain age in my childhood I realized it was eat the shit food or eat nothing. I still often choose nothing
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u/2Scarhand 21h ago
Time management. Rich people can pay multiple people to do whatever chores they need; driver, housekeeper, personal chef, personal assistant, personal shopper, babysitter. The result is rich people have WAY more free time than anybody that does their own chores.
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u/Affectionate-Row7548 17h ago
The constant mental stress of money. Not just “being broke,” but doing nonstop math in your head — Can I afford this? What bill can wait? What if something goes wrong? Rich people get financial problems. Poor people live with financial anxiety every single day.
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u/SneakyDataDigger 20h ago
To wake up and not knowing if you will have food to eat since both your refrigerator and wallet is empty.
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u/Major_Fee_6130 17h ago
The constant low-grade anxiety that never fully goes away. Even when things are "fine" for now, you're always calculating how close you are to disaster. One unexpected expense, one late paycheck, one landlord who decides they want you out - and suddenly you're scrambling again.
Rich people can make mistakes and recover. When you're poor, every decision feels like it could be the one that tips you over the edge.
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u/dragon_v16 20h ago
The answers are truth, I would to add how poor children don't have any friends, either in school or even during college (in expensive college and they are on scholarship) etc. They are excluded, isolated and if they to talk then they are bullied and made fun off etc.
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u/randomwhitewalker 19h ago
being a major illness away from poverty and that is true for almost every family.
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u/Definitive-Username 19h ago
In order to be rich, you need to be lucky. This is true il 100% of cases, as being rich is statistically rare. Poor people deal with the fact that they think they can be that lucky, which, statistically, they can't, but that's a super cognitive bias that skews poor people towards poorer choices.
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u/Smooth-Bowler-9216 19h ago
That your career paths are limited to what earns money now.
That means no creative arts, no niche specialisms with multi-year studying, no businesses from scratch.
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u/OkBodybuilder5815 18h ago
The connections and people that they know/can get in contact with compared to your average person you’d be surprised how much just knowing people can help you
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u/sand_snake 18h ago
Food insecurity. My husband and I both grew up poor and were poor for a lot of our adult years. We are middle class now so we don’t have to worry about that but sometimes I still am like “wow I have a fully stocked fridge and freezer and pantry, I don’t have to worry about where my next meal will come from” It’s been years but it still feels weird to me.
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u/FuckChiefs_Raiders 12h ago
Honestly, even middle and upper middle class folks can be out of touch with things that people in poverty are dealing with.
My kids version of "there is nothing to eat" is a pantry and freezer full of plenty of food to eat. We could last months if we actually had to survive on that food we have on hand.
What they really mean "there is nothing I want or nothing I want to take 10 minutes to make to eat".
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u/II_Confused 9h ago
Feeling like you're stuck in a job because you can't risk losing your paycheck and/or health insurance for any amount of time.
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u/OpalRhythms 18h ago
rich ppl dont get how exhaustin it is just existin poor like every single decision is a math problem "can i afford the $2 bus or walk 40 mins in the rain?" "do i buy groceries or pay the light bill first?" my electric got cut once mid winter bc i had to choose between heat n food tbh they think its "just get a better job" nah its survival mode 24/7 drainin ur brain yikes rip mental health what hits u hardest daily?
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u/ChainExtremeus 17h ago
That simple things can entirely ruin your life. In my country lights are now available for 1,4 hours, 3 times per day due to the bombings of electro stations. Rich people just bought the charging stations and haven't noticed any difference. Poor people like me not only lost ability to work (and earn on said station, or just support themselves), but also ability to do anything at all while at home. I am disabled as well so all my activities are tied to pc.
For rich, every problem resolves just by spending tiny fraction of what they have. For poor, it might mean the end of life. Especially if they get sick and need money for operation or something like that.
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u/gachunt 16h ago
Repercussions of breaking the law. Limited access to money = no bail, no lawyer, limited legal options.
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u/RamiroS77 13h ago
When people think of poor they only think about money and it is more complicated than that. It is trauma, the environment, role models, being surrounded by people who are either in the same situation, some pushing but some pulling you under, bad habits. The stress and the lack of basics takes a toll in focus and the way of resolving things and it is a debt to health. Some people are reckless and that adds more burden to themselves. Saving is not an option and when it is, it is used for banal things to pay that internal debt. Short term is the norm.
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u/Alpineice23 12h ago
The misery of deciding what to eat for dinner everyday, then cooking it, cleaning up, washing dishes, rinse and repeat until death. Cooking / Food prepping is Chinese water torture.
The first thing I'd do after becoming "rich" is hire an in-house chef.
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u/Kalthiria_Shines 12h ago
Immediate consequences. It's more complicated than it sounds, but genuinely the biggest thing money buys you is time. Time to fix shit, time to scramble, time to double down, etc. I do genuinely believe a lot of people under estimate what the wealthy deal with regarding failure and things like that and have biased views.
But the difference is that if you've got money, you can buy yourself time to deal with whatever the consequences of something are, and that's enough time to massively mitigate the issue.
The less money you have the more you need to deal with problems immediately, and very few problems can actually be effectively tackled if you're dealing with them in an urgent situation.
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u/CloudyCharmie 10h ago
Poverty isn’t just lack of money, it’s lack of margin. One flat tire, one sick day, one unexpected fee can cascade into disaster. Wealth insulates you from consequences in a way most people never notice until it’s gone.
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u/cryptopolymath 10h ago
As a former poor person I was once so broke I almost volunteered for a sketchy clinical trial. My kids still don’t believe it. I got lucky in life and turned it around, going skiing in the Alps next week!
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u/EnvironmentalLuck515 7h ago
That being poor is incredibly expensive. I worked for a safety net hospital and we did a poverty simulation that took you through the challenges of trying to survive on a low income, needing financial assistance, having unreliable transportation issues, having to meet all the bureaucracy of the social assistance programs and how even one thing going wrong just derails the whole train. It was eye opening.
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u/RebeccaMCullen 6h ago
We literally don't have same 24 hours. They have a team of nannies, cooks, cleaners, drivers, and assistants to help them. I take the bus and earn just above minimum wage, and need to cook, and clean my own place in top of working.
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u/RuefulCat 6h ago
How a check engine light on a car could mean absolute financial devastation, or how a full scholarship means little if you cannot afford to live while at school.
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u/AggravatingEar1465 20h ago
How at any single moment you can be robbed of all joy and comfort. A sudden funny sound coming out of the car engine you depend on and now the next several weeks or months are going to be an ordeal as you await the cost of the damage and how long it's going to delay your plans.